The Long Handle

Starring Colossus Buttler and Sir Don Carberry

We can start with the hideous Moeenalitharan

The bottom line is: stuff happens

It's called PCB Chairman 2014 and it's addictive

They lived happily ever after, swearing and shouting at everyone who crossed their paths

Because there is no one else who can captain this England side

Where Alastairmemnon draws up a plan to surprise nobody

In this day and age no one appreciates the art of ducking against a short ball

The English cricket board is hiring. Here are the leading contenders so far

Also known as the latest issuing of bile from cricket's angry glands

You could have egg on your face in no time

If your children don't go to sleep, he will get them

Cricket is a minor league sport and apparently content to remain so

And why we need to give the pink ball a chance

Are you abreast of developments in cricket? Take the Long Handle test

Just give him four years at the helm and be done with it

Give fixers and those who are ambivalent to it a whole new sport to muck up

It helps save the format from extinction

The only thing to raise an eyebrow at in the Sabina Park Test was Chris Gayle's vow of abstinence

And it's probably "improved" as well