World Cricket Podcast February 16, 2012

The ugliest thing in cricket

Is it the batting of Graeme Smith or the sight of Imran Farhat fielding?
14

Andy Zaltzman and Daniel Norcross talk about Pakistan's abject and deceitful performance in the UAE, Saeed Ajmal's beautiful hair, how World War Two ruined batting techniques, and which animal will make the best wicketkeeper

Download the podcast here (mp3, 29MB, right-click to save).

Andy Zaltzman is a stand-up comedian, a regular on the BBC Radio 4, and a writer

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • Craig the Princess on March 7, 2012, 20:49 GMT

    Actually his average was 33 (2 innings)

  • Craig b Kirsten 0 on March 7, 2012, 20:48 GMT

    The best animal wicket keeper = Jack Russell, 54 tests, 153 catches, 12 stumpings.

    One match superstars? Douglas Bader (First Class Average - 63 (1 innings)) , also 20 confirmed enemy aircraft.

  • Kouichi on March 1, 2012, 22:18 GMT

    Hi eeyovrne, apologies, due to a mixup with both automatic posting and our voucher system the first voucher did not get issued on time but here it is;ENGLANDINDIAvalid for 3 months free of UKV100 Cloud vps, it lasts for 14 days from today, enjoy!

  • David Allen on February 17, 2012, 18:54 GMT

    You almost got it right when you commented that Pakistan were terrible, however records don't mean much because the rules (not the laws) have changed. Apparently it's now ok to chuck it which does add significant advantages and a slightly over doctored playing surface explains both the loss by England and abject batting by both sides or, could any other side in the world have done better on these pitches. Just sit back and watch Pakistan lose heavily everywhere else.

  • Graeme on February 17, 2012, 14:58 GMT

    The best animal wicket keeper = the orang utan

    Low to the ground (as all the best keepers are) bu able to spring up for high bouncing deliveries.

    Big hands with a strong grip.

    Long reach.

    Naturally bouncy.

    Bit quiet - but you could bring a chimp in for the appealing.

    I reckon that the average orang utan could, with a few weeks training, e a better keeper than the chap currently weilding what appear to be frying pans in the Pakistan ODI side at the moment.

  • Umar Riaz on February 17, 2012, 4:42 GMT

    Unsung Heros from Pakistan Basit Ali. One of the best batsman Pakistan has ever produced but ended his career with an avg of 26.

    Muhammad Sami. B owls at 90mph but has taken only 84 wickets in 35 test with an avg of 52.

  • Emad Din on February 17, 2012, 3:16 GMT

    I watched two minutes of the video and was shocked at the amount of bias in your analysis of the test series. You basically said Pakistan have no reason to celebrate the 3-0 whitewash of england because they faced the worst english batting performance of all time, and almost lost. You can't dismiss their performance as a fluke. They were outplayed, outwitted, and outclassed by the best spin attack in the world.

  • Captain Plasma on February 17, 2012, 2:51 GMT

    By far, the animal which would make the best wicketkeeper is the sheep, particularly the breed Romney Marsh! When my village cricket team was at cricket practice in Australia in the 1970s a sheep wondered into the net and stood behind the wicket - we named him Romney Marsh . . . obviously!

  • Mazza on February 16, 2012, 17:08 GMT

    Which animal makes the best keeper?? Was convinced Pakistan already had a mountain goat keeping for them...so the stump mic would indicate anyway...

  • Cricket on February 16, 2012, 14:37 GMT

    Were you on holidays during the Test Match Series (when English were hammered) ?

  • Craig the Princess on March 7, 2012, 20:49 GMT

    Actually his average was 33 (2 innings)

  • Craig b Kirsten 0 on March 7, 2012, 20:48 GMT

    The best animal wicket keeper = Jack Russell, 54 tests, 153 catches, 12 stumpings.

    One match superstars? Douglas Bader (First Class Average - 63 (1 innings)) , also 20 confirmed enemy aircraft.

  • Kouichi on March 1, 2012, 22:18 GMT

    Hi eeyovrne, apologies, due to a mixup with both automatic posting and our voucher system the first voucher did not get issued on time but here it is;ENGLANDINDIAvalid for 3 months free of UKV100 Cloud vps, it lasts for 14 days from today, enjoy!

  • David Allen on February 17, 2012, 18:54 GMT

    You almost got it right when you commented that Pakistan were terrible, however records don't mean much because the rules (not the laws) have changed. Apparently it's now ok to chuck it which does add significant advantages and a slightly over doctored playing surface explains both the loss by England and abject batting by both sides or, could any other side in the world have done better on these pitches. Just sit back and watch Pakistan lose heavily everywhere else.

  • Graeme on February 17, 2012, 14:58 GMT

    The best animal wicket keeper = the orang utan

    Low to the ground (as all the best keepers are) bu able to spring up for high bouncing deliveries.

    Big hands with a strong grip.

    Long reach.

    Naturally bouncy.

    Bit quiet - but you could bring a chimp in for the appealing.

    I reckon that the average orang utan could, with a few weeks training, e a better keeper than the chap currently weilding what appear to be frying pans in the Pakistan ODI side at the moment.

  • Umar Riaz on February 17, 2012, 4:42 GMT

    Unsung Heros from Pakistan Basit Ali. One of the best batsman Pakistan has ever produced but ended his career with an avg of 26.

    Muhammad Sami. B owls at 90mph but has taken only 84 wickets in 35 test with an avg of 52.

  • Emad Din on February 17, 2012, 3:16 GMT

    I watched two minutes of the video and was shocked at the amount of bias in your analysis of the test series. You basically said Pakistan have no reason to celebrate the 3-0 whitewash of england because they faced the worst english batting performance of all time, and almost lost. You can't dismiss their performance as a fluke. They were outplayed, outwitted, and outclassed by the best spin attack in the world.

  • Captain Plasma on February 17, 2012, 2:51 GMT

    By far, the animal which would make the best wicketkeeper is the sheep, particularly the breed Romney Marsh! When my village cricket team was at cricket practice in Australia in the 1970s a sheep wondered into the net and stood behind the wicket - we named him Romney Marsh . . . obviously!

  • Mazza on February 16, 2012, 17:08 GMT

    Which animal makes the best keeper?? Was convinced Pakistan already had a mountain goat keeping for them...so the stump mic would indicate anyway...

  • Cricket on February 16, 2012, 14:37 GMT

    Were you on holidays during the Test Match Series (when English were hammered) ?

  • Raif on February 16, 2012, 13:44 GMT

    A kangaroo would always pouch its couches... just saying.

  • Mahbub on February 16, 2012, 13:31 GMT

    Glad it was only a commentary so did not have to c ur ugly face

  • Venkat on February 16, 2012, 10:22 GMT

    Hi Andy, Can you also give us the text of the podcast..

  • Kunal on February 16, 2012, 9:47 GMT

    Fantastic to have your audio podcast.

  • No featured comments at the moment.

  • Kunal on February 16, 2012, 9:47 GMT

    Fantastic to have your audio podcast.

  • Venkat on February 16, 2012, 10:22 GMT

    Hi Andy, Can you also give us the text of the podcast..

  • Mahbub on February 16, 2012, 13:31 GMT

    Glad it was only a commentary so did not have to c ur ugly face

  • Raif on February 16, 2012, 13:44 GMT

    A kangaroo would always pouch its couches... just saying.

  • Cricket on February 16, 2012, 14:37 GMT

    Were you on holidays during the Test Match Series (when English were hammered) ?

  • Mazza on February 16, 2012, 17:08 GMT

    Which animal makes the best keeper?? Was convinced Pakistan already had a mountain goat keeping for them...so the stump mic would indicate anyway...

  • Captain Plasma on February 17, 2012, 2:51 GMT

    By far, the animal which would make the best wicketkeeper is the sheep, particularly the breed Romney Marsh! When my village cricket team was at cricket practice in Australia in the 1970s a sheep wondered into the net and stood behind the wicket - we named him Romney Marsh . . . obviously!

  • Emad Din on February 17, 2012, 3:16 GMT

    I watched two minutes of the video and was shocked at the amount of bias in your analysis of the test series. You basically said Pakistan have no reason to celebrate the 3-0 whitewash of england because they faced the worst english batting performance of all time, and almost lost. You can't dismiss their performance as a fluke. They were outplayed, outwitted, and outclassed by the best spin attack in the world.

  • Umar Riaz on February 17, 2012, 4:42 GMT

    Unsung Heros from Pakistan Basit Ali. One of the best batsman Pakistan has ever produced but ended his career with an avg of 26.

    Muhammad Sami. B owls at 90mph but has taken only 84 wickets in 35 test with an avg of 52.

  • Graeme on February 17, 2012, 14:58 GMT

    The best animal wicket keeper = the orang utan

    Low to the ground (as all the best keepers are) bu able to spring up for high bouncing deliveries.

    Big hands with a strong grip.

    Long reach.

    Naturally bouncy.

    Bit quiet - but you could bring a chimp in for the appealing.

    I reckon that the average orang utan could, with a few weeks training, e a better keeper than the chap currently weilding what appear to be frying pans in the Pakistan ODI side at the moment.