Quote Unquote: IPL edition June 2, 2008

Moses, Mother Teresa, and cash cows

Cricinfo staff
Cricinfo's pick of the best quotes from the Indian Premier League

Who's the best human being in this picture? © AFP

"I'm getting a little too old for so many close finishes."
Shane Warne on Rajasthan Royals' final-ball win over the Chennai Super Kings in the IPL final

"I think I will donate the money to Mother Teresa or something like that."
Shoaib Akhtar explains what he will do with the proceeds after auctioning his Kolkata Knight Riders helmet

"My team told me that they have yet to meet a better human being than me. This is a huge compliment."
Kolkata franchise owner Shah Rukh Khan doesn't have time for false modesty

"Had I been 21, I would easily have cracked this."
Rahul Dravid, 35, wishes Twenty20 had existed earlier

"I am as dedicated to my Knights as I am to my kids."
Shah Rukh Khan plays dad to his side

"I want to thank the crowd for their support. It was pretty one-sided for Mumbai. Just don't forget some of the Punjab boys also play for India."
Yuvraj Singh, the captain of the Kings XI Punjab, isn't pleased with the Wankhede crowd's behaviour

"I hope the national selectors were watching."
Sourav Ganguly responds to Ramiz Raja's suggestion that he was like an energetic schoolboy in the field during the Kolkata Knight Riders' stirring defence of a low total against the Delhi Daredevils

"The IPL has taken the game to virtually every house in the world."
Sachin Tendulkar holds forth on globalisation

"Once Shoaib sees the crowds, and of course the babes around, I think he will be able to perform."
Wasim Akram has a dig at Shoaib Akhtar

"This is not cricket. This is the greatest divide between the rich and the poor. With that kind of money, you could have built another cement factory."
Jaswant Singh, leader of the opposition, criticises the IPL in the upper house of the Indian parliament

"It must seem like volunteer work to those who have drunk from the IPL's ruby-encrusted goblet."
Journalist Peter Lalor on what it will be like for the IPL set to return to international cricket

"Violence between players? Scantily clad cheerleaders? Toss in a rant by Charles Barkley and three minutes of commercials for every 45 seconds of actual game time and cricket may finally be ready for a mainstream American audience."
The Los Angeles Times warms to the idea of Twenty20 cricket

What can I do with all my IPL riches? © Getty Images

"The phrase 'he had it coming' has rarely been so close to everyone's lips."
A lack of sympathy for Sreesanth from journalist Lawrence Booth

"He is [the] Moses of the game who has shown the path to blazing success."
Ravi Shastri decides it's time to praise IPL commissioner Lalit Modi. Presumably he was referring to Edwin, the hurdler

"The last time there were issues of this nature, Mr Greig gave up playing for England, probably because he thought he could get back in easily, and then Ian Botham appeared."
ECB chief Giles Clarke expresses his view that no England player would risk his place for a quick payday in the IPL. The fact that Greig and Botham played together in the 1977 Ashes is, presumably, neither here nor there

"We are trying to dehumanise the opposition as much as possible so that we can concentrate on what we can do and try to knock off as many colours as possible! We are not too much into reputation."
Martin Crowe on the Bangalore Royal Challengers' strategy for the next game; India might have just found their next Greg Chappell

"I've probably bowled the worst last over in Twenty20 history. Twenty20 is good for the game but not for the ego."
Andrew Symonds reveals it was not just his bowling that took a beating in the game against the Rajasthan Royals

"I'm going to tell all my producers to not release any movie between April 19 and May 30. It will be suicide."
Preity Zinta, Bollywood actress and joint-owner of the Kings XI Punjab franchise, is convinced the IPL is going to be a big success

"It's really unusual to come to Bombay, hit a four and see nobody clapping for you."
Rahul Dravid jokes about his experience in Bangalore's match in Mumbai in the Indian Premier League

"I fear the day is approaching when a high-profile, televised cricket match will see an outbreak of physical violence on the field."
Scyld Berry, editor of Wisden Cricketers' Almanack 2008 is ominously prescient weeks ahead of Slapgate

"I never lasted more than 20 overs. Did I?"
Kris Srikkanth tries to justify why he's the perfect brand ambassador for the Chennai Super Kings

"It's like three-minute Maggi noodles. Bang, bang, and it is over. For me, it is not cricket."
Arjuna Ranatunga isn't too impressed with the IPL

Let me lead you to the promised land © AFP

"In terms of sporting endeavour and prestige, the IPL is to cricket what diarrhoea is to dodgy curry houses - an unfortunate byproduct."
Paul Lewis, in the New Zealand Herald, clearly doesn't care much about developments in India

"There was a little element of feeling like a cow."
Getting auctioned for US$700,000 got Adam Gilchrist in touch with his bovine side

"The expenses involved are huge, and I am not doing the figures. I will see what it is like at the end of the year and then, depending on the balance sheet, I will have to dance at a few more marriages."
Shahrukh Khan is ready to go the distance to make his IPL franchise, the Kolkata Knight Riders, a success

"John's last visit to Kolkata was not very memorable. But we assure you this time you'll leave with happy memories."
Sourav Ganguly, the captain of Kolkata Knight Riders, tries to exorcise any demons John Buchanan, the coach, might be carrying from the Test in 2000-01, which Australia famously lost to Ganguly's Indians. Buchanan was Australia's coach then

"I could end up being the bargain buy of the tournament, you never know."
A smiling Ricky Ponting brushes off his comparatively low IPL price tag

"He actually sent me a text message this morning and said, 'I can't believe you're worth double what I am'."
David Hussey got one-up on brother Michael in the IPL players' auction