Chin music, crowd wars and reality TV
Andrew Miller looks back at The Week That Was... January 29 to February 5, 2007
Andrew Miller
05-Feb-2007
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"Hey mate, you don't play with your chin." Allegedly these were the words that sent Mal Loye, England's battered opening batsman, into a fury in the aftermath of England's hard-earned victory over Australia at Sydney on Friday. Loye was felled by Glenn McGrath while lining up his favourite slog-sweep, after which he was alleged to have felled his tormentors while being taken to hospital to receive several stitches to his jaw. "All he did was tell them to give him a break," said England's spokesman, James Avery. "We're extremely annoyed at suggestions it was more than that." But according to an eyewitness, Travis Johnson, Loye "strayed from where he was going and appeared to take a swing at them."
The return of Australia A?
The inept efforts of England and New Zealand in this year's CB Series has given the tournament's marketing men sufficient ammunition to revive the notion of two Australian teams competing in next year's tournament. The last time that happened was in 1994-95, when England and Zimbabwe were nudged out of the final reckoning by Australia A, who were in turn turned over by a senior side captained by Mark Taylor. "I'd have to say I didn't like it," he said, in a valiant attempt to crush the idea at his first airing. "I found it very difficult at the time to play against my own teammates. I'm not a fan of the concept for that very reason."
The inept efforts of England and New Zealand in this year's CB Series has given the tournament's marketing men sufficient ammunition to revive the notion of two Australian teams competing in next year's tournament. The last time that happened was in 1994-95, when England and Zimbabwe were nudged out of the final reckoning by Australia A, who were in turn turned over by a senior side captained by Mark Taylor. "I'd have to say I didn't like it," he said, in a valiant attempt to crush the idea at his first airing. "I found it very difficult at the time to play against my own teammates. I'm not a fan of the concept for that very reason."
12 to win off one ball? No problem!
Andre Adams has not been himself since the 2003 World Cup, when he bowled arguably the worst delivery ever seen in international cricket - a double-bouncer to Australia's Andy Bichel, which was swatted for a very big six. Playing for Auckland against Northern Districts at Seddon Park last week, however, Adams went some way towards re-establishing his matchwinning credentials. Needing 12 to win off one ball, he was served up a waist-high full-toss by the seamer, Graeme Aldridge, which was despatched for four through the leg-side. With two penalty runs thrown in for the no-ball, Auckland now required six to win. Adams obliged by launching Aldridge straight hit over long-off to cue the celebrations.
Andre Adams has not been himself since the 2003 World Cup, when he bowled arguably the worst delivery ever seen in international cricket - a double-bouncer to Australia's Andy Bichel, which was swatted for a very big six. Playing for Auckland against Northern Districts at Seddon Park last week, however, Adams went some way towards re-establishing his matchwinning credentials. Needing 12 to win off one ball, he was served up a waist-high full-toss by the seamer, Graeme Aldridge, which was despatched for four through the leg-side. With two penalty runs thrown in for the no-ball, Auckland now required six to win. Adams obliged by launching Aldridge straight hit over long-off to cue the celebrations.
War on Mexican Waves
The fun police are back with a vengeance. Cricket Australia has upped the ante in the war on crowd enjoyment by slapping a national ban on the Mexican Wave. Until now, it has been up to individual venues to take action if they saw fit, but from now on, uniformed and plain-clothed police will be positioned throughout the crowd and equipped with video cameras to gather evidence of offenders. "The only way to stop people throwing things in the air ... is to stop the Mexican wave itself," said James Sutherland, CA's chief executive. Ironically, the Barmy Army have never been partial to this most banal of crowd entertainment. "It's disrespectful to the players," said their chief spokesman, Paul Burnham.
The fun police are back with a vengeance. Cricket Australia has upped the ante in the war on crowd enjoyment by slapping a national ban on the Mexican Wave. Until now, it has been up to individual venues to take action if they saw fit, but from now on, uniformed and plain-clothed police will be positioned throughout the crowd and equipped with video cameras to gather evidence of offenders. "The only way to stop people throwing things in the air ... is to stop the Mexican wave itself," said James Sutherland, CA's chief executive. Ironically, the Barmy Army have never been partial to this most banal of crowd entertainment. "It's disrespectful to the players," said their chief spokesman, Paul Burnham.
Cricket Idol
Cricket and reality TV have a long and dubious relationship. First there was Phil Tufnell and his bug-munching antics in the Queensland jungle; then Darren Gough and Mark Ramprakash sashayed on centre stage in Strictly Come Dancing. Now there's Bollywood's leading lady, Shilpa Shetty - the winner of Celebrity Big Brother and, if the rumour-mill is to be believed, the next saviour of English cricket. She is being lined up to front the English version of Cricket Star, the Indian smash hit in which aspiring talents compete to secure a one-year contract with Leicestershire. Watch this space.
Cricket and reality TV have a long and dubious relationship. First there was Phil Tufnell and his bug-munching antics in the Queensland jungle; then Darren Gough and Mark Ramprakash sashayed on centre stage in Strictly Come Dancing. Now there's Bollywood's leading lady, Shilpa Shetty - the winner of Celebrity Big Brother and, if the rumour-mill is to be believed, the next saviour of English cricket. She is being lined up to front the English version of Cricket Star, the Indian smash hit in which aspiring talents compete to secure a one-year contract with Leicestershire. Watch this space.
Wii want cricket
The world has gone Wii crazy, apparently. Nintendo's new games console involves motion sensors that allow you to wield it like a magic wand - perfect, it would appear, for playing fully interactive sports games. Sure enough, there are already ten-pin bowling and billiards simulators in existence, although cricket as yet has not made an appearance. That, however, seems only to be a matter of time. A website, www.wiiwantcricket.com, has been set up to lobby the big games manufacturers, and an entire underworld of computer-savvy cricket afficionados has been mobilised. "I'm thinking of making a movie detailing what Wiiwantcricket is and giving it to developers," says one recent poster on the bulletin board, as you do. Watch this space ... again.
The world has gone Wii crazy, apparently. Nintendo's new games console involves motion sensors that allow you to wield it like a magic wand - perfect, it would appear, for playing fully interactive sports games. Sure enough, there are already ten-pin bowling and billiards simulators in existence, although cricket as yet has not made an appearance. That, however, seems only to be a matter of time. A website, www.wiiwantcricket.com, has been set up to lobby the big games manufacturers, and an entire underworld of computer-savvy cricket afficionados has been mobilised. "I'm thinking of making a movie detailing what Wiiwantcricket is and giving it to developers," says one recent poster on the bulletin board, as you do. Watch this space ... again.
A crocked competition
According to legend, the Vauxhall Nova did not sell too well in Latin America, because in Portuguese "No va" translates as "doesn't move". Something similar might be applied to the sponsors of the current basement battle between Bangladesh and Zimbabwe at Harare. "Croco Motors" are the sponsors of that four-match one-day series - a contest so unloved by the world that there is no TV coverage and hardly a murmur of press coverage. "Zimbabwe cricket is in an exciting phase where every shoulder is to the wheel in preparation for participation at the 2007 Cricket World Cup," said Farai Matsika, the company's chief executive, apparently without a trace of irony. "As a giant in the Zimbabwe motor industry, we could not just stand back and watch them in their national endeavour."
According to legend, the Vauxhall Nova did not sell too well in Latin America, because in Portuguese "No va" translates as "doesn't move". Something similar might be applied to the sponsors of the current basement battle between Bangladesh and Zimbabwe at Harare. "Croco Motors" are the sponsors of that four-match one-day series - a contest so unloved by the world that there is no TV coverage and hardly a murmur of press coverage. "Zimbabwe cricket is in an exciting phase where every shoulder is to the wheel in preparation for participation at the 2007 Cricket World Cup," said Farai Matsika, the company's chief executive, apparently without a trace of irony. "As a giant in the Zimbabwe motor industry, we could not just stand back and watch them in their national endeavour."
Quote-hanger
"Normally I'd go out running at 4am. But Albina, my wife, used to get up with me, look out of the window and say: 'Oh Henry, you can't go out in that, it's raining. I'll make you a nice cup of tea.' I lost the fight badly." The British heavyweight legend, Henry Cooper, explains to Sue Mott why WAGs should not be allowed on a professional sports tour.
"Normally I'd go out running at 4am. But Albina, my wife, used to get up with me, look out of the window and say: 'Oh Henry, you can't go out in that, it's raining. I'll make you a nice cup of tea.' I lost the fight badly." The British heavyweight legend, Henry Cooper, explains to Sue Mott why WAGs should not be allowed on a professional sports tour.
Andrew Miller is UK editor of Cricinfo