How Australians work the bugs out of their system

All three teams playing in the VB One-Day International Series in Australia will spend Australia Day on January 26 in Adelaide. New Zealand and Australia will be out in the middle of the Oval, while South Africa will be preparing for the next day's match against New Zealand.

The day is characterized all over the country by parades and massive sports events. But in a corner of Brisbane, under the massive Story Bridge will be the most Australian of all Australia Day celebrations. This city takes its sport seriously - home of the Brisbane Lions (Aussie Rules champions), the Queensland Reds Super 12 rugby team, the Queensland Bulls cricketers and venue for back-to-back One-Day Internationals involving South Africa this weekend in the VB Series.

And here, most citizens are intimate with the Sport of Kings - horseracing is the King of Sports in much of Australia, with greyhound racing snapping at it heels. However, on Australia Day the focus shifts from bat and ball - and even from turf - to a small arena under the Kangaroo Point end of the Story Bridge across the Brisbane River.

Every year for the past 21 years, the street outside the Story Bridge Hotel (actually a pub and restaurant) has been closed off, a grandstand is built around the arena and the stage is set for the Annual Australia Day Cockroach Races. Even the ominously named Bombshelter pub next-door empties out as some 5 000 people crowd in for the occasion.

The South African cricket team had a few days in Brisbane this week - a welcome extended stay on the tight one-day schedule - and some of the visiting media took time out to visit the famous venue and chat to owner Richard Deery over a few pints of VB. In the interests of forging better relations between the UCB and the media, I joined them and came away with a poster featuring the Hall of Fame from the roach races.

Contestants buy roaches from the hotel ("We import them from elsewhere," insists Deery), or they can bring their own. But, Deery insists, "we do all the necessary training before the races, so it's better for them to buy a cocky from us". Particularly since all proceeds from the day go to the nearby Mater Children's Hospital.

The day's card features 14 races with a minimum of 20 "cockys" in each race. Regulars from the pub act as stewards for the day and it's their job to paint numbers on the backs of the cockys in tip-pex or nail polish. As flying is an immediate cause for disqualification, some prefer to tape down their cockys' wings.

The race starts with all contestants in a bucket in the center of the arena. It is turned upside down, lifted off the ground and the cockys are free to race to the outside of the circle. First one to the outside barrier is the winner. The ultimate prize for the cockys is the Story Bridge Hotel Annual Australia Day Cockroach Races Cup.

But there is a bigger prize for the owners of the crawlies, who name their roaches and dress up accordingly. The first prize for costumes gets them and their critter into the Hall of Fame, as well as a party at the hotel worth AUS$ 1 000.

A run through the names of some of the Hall of Famers gets the imagination going on the costumes - let alone the names of the roaches.

1982's winner was Soft Cocky, who lost the title the next year to Waltzing Mat Cocky. Cocky Balboa won in 1986 with a team decked out like Sly Stallone and in 1989 and 1992 the prize went to teams named for famous Queensland thoroughbred race horses. Vo Roach lived up to the reputation of his namesake, Vo Rogue and Drain Lover lives on in memory almost as much as the horse Rain Lover.

1993's winner, Guns `N Roaches was egged on by guys with long hair and guitars, while one of the most memorable winners was 1995's Priscilla Queen of the Drains (trainers and owners in drag). Politics dominated the late 1990s with Crawl Keating (for Paul Keating) taking the crown in 1996, followed by Crawline Hanson the next year getting almost as many headlines as her namesake the conservative politician. Roach Rage followed the politicians the next year.

But 1999 and 2000 went to the computer age and the turn of the millennium. First came Millennium Bug and the winner the next year had to be named for a website - www.hardcocky.com.

No one at the Story Bridge Hotel will guess about the outcome of this year's event. And when I ask, the barman on duty says with a wink: "Aren't you with cricket? You should know better than to speculate about the result, mate."