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Jarrod Kimber

England begin on amateurish note

Four men are hired to save a rich rancher's wife in Mexico. The rancher picks four people with particular skills to form the ultimate team

Jarrod Kimber
Jarrod Kimber
25-Feb-2013
Stuart Broad bowls in the nets, Haryana v England XI, 4th day, Ahmedabad, November 11, 2012

Sri Lanka could have played several series in the time England spent warming up  •  Getty Images

Four men are hired to save a rich rancher's wife in Mexico. The rancher picks four people with particular skills to form the ultimate team. The film is called The Professionals. Andy Flower is probably a fan of this film, and not just because of Woody Strobe and Lee Marvin, but because it fits his ethos.
England got to the top of the world by being more professional than every other team in the world. Their selections were impeccable. Everyone did their job. They made each other better. Strangled with the ball, dulled with the bat, took all chances. Preparation was key. They believed they could win. And they won a bunch of series on the way to No. 1.
Then things fell apart in the UAE. Saeed Ajmal does that to people, but England seemed to play like every Pakistani was Ajmal. In Sri Lanka they had Ajmal flashbacks, before ending up 1-1. At home against the West Indies they did what they needed to do and nothing more. Then South Africa turned up. And they did what England had been doing for a while: made no mistakes.
England made many mistakes. Their batsmen who had built foundations on common sense and minimising risk suddenly played at balls they should have left. Their bowlers lost pace. The fielding fell down. Inside the changing room was a disaster. And their captain was on the way out. The professional, well put-together team was missing key components and fighting amongst itself.
Yet they went back to basics. Sri Lanka could have played three Test series in the time England used just for warm up matches. Short of moving to Chennai, they couldn't have spent any longer over there. It was the old England. Prepare, prepare, prepare.
At the height of England's run, bowlers didn't play with injuries that often. They believed in their back ups, and wouldn't risk losing a bowler mid match.
In this Test they went with Broad. Perhaps he was fully fit, perhaps he wasn't. But once Broad played, Bresnan had to be more likely (even without his reverse swing in the last warm up), and that meant they were taking in a potentially injured bowler and leaving out a spinner on a wicket that from all accounts looked like it would have taken spin the day before the Test.
Then they fielded. And it was bad. Matt Prior's keeping looked like the Matt Prior of the bad old days. Jonathan Trott seemed surprised at slip. And Jimmy Anderson seemed to be looking at Cheteshwar Pujara's lofted mistake like he had 2D eyes. They were the chances they missed. But there was also a look of flatness about them. Some balls were shepherded to the boundary. Dives were made just to prove they had dived. And the energy was low.
That also led to the run rate getting out of control. Now, everyone gets Sehwag-ed once in a while. But it also took them hours to slow down Pujara who as classy as he is, is a man who often slows himself down. The control and patience of the English attack was nowhere. Too many boundaries came at the end of otherwise good overs. India were 61 runs into their innings before Swann came on to slow it down.
Cook captained in the same way that most of his team fielded.
England may still salvage this Test, although it's pretty doubtful. They might even win the series. But they won't do either without what got them there in the first place. And perhaps they can't. Things change. Right at the moment England look more like a middling side with issues than a team about to storm back to No. 1.
Watching Sehwag and Pujara flay their attack while their fielders looked like little more than CGI extras brought up a line from Burt Lancaster in the professionals, "Makes you wonder how we ever beat the Indians."
You don't wonder how England beat India last time, but you do wonder if they'll do it again.

Jarrod Kimber is 50% of the Two Chucks, and the mind responsible for cricketwithballs.com