Kick it up a notch
Cricketers who wouldn't be half-bad at football

Holding curves one past the wall in Dunedin in 1979 • Getty Images
Trophy wife? Check.
Footballers need to be light and nimble on their feet. Shahid Afridi is light and nimble on his feet. You should have seen him back in 2005, doing the fandango all over the Faisalabad pitch, with spikes on.
For their dexterous and skilful use of their legs to play the cricket ball during their epic stand of 411 against West Indies in 1957.
He used to be a goalie, you know.
He hates going off side, you know.
Why use your hands when your feet will do? The likes of Munaf Patel have been endorsing this fine philosophy for years on the boundary, sticking a boot out at the ball as it hurries by - with mixed results, but of course it's the thought that counts.
For the requisite drama, breast-beating and on-field crying, general acting ability, and full-on lunacy that make footie the world's greatest game, you need cricket's greatest showman bar none.
If you think cricket's short of sensitive, well-coiffed, immaculately moisturised metrosexuals like David Beckham, you've got another think coming.
With Yuvi in the side you know the gratuitous-diving department is in good hands. Oh wait, that was three years ago.
Without a good goalkeeper, a football side is nothing.
What do you mean spitting is not close enough to dribbling?
Cricketers with experience of having their shirts tugged would naturally be an asset in football. Not only did our Nehra allegedly recently get his shirt pulled in the course of an alleged brawl in an alleged restaurant in the West Indies, he got it pulled so forcefully, it tore.
Back in 1979, Mikey displayed a fetching ability to kick, as the photograph above will testify, and to look graceful and balletic while doing it.
Speaking of Holding, how can one forget Closey? Shoulders, chest, head - he used them all to play the cricket ball.
What does cricket need to make it more like football? A display of manboobs at the end of games, of course.
Cocaine? Lewis was caught with enough to keep Diego Maradona happy for a year of Sundays, back in the day.
He has a way with a tackle, in more ways than one.
Johnson gently applied his head to Scott Styris' helmet grille during a game in New Zealand last year. However, lest Zinedine Zidane fans get all misty-eyed, it was not, repeat not, a head-butt. "The only thing I'm quite annoyed about is that it has been classed as a head-butt," Mitch declared. "I'm not that silly. I'm not going to head-butt someone who has a helmet on."