Farewell to the Disappointing Museum
Tuesday, 13th September I don’t think I’m speaking out of turn when I say that the Indian cricket team have been a bit of a disappointment this summer. In fact they’ve taken us on a tour of the Disappointment Museum, which included four extended diaromas of disappointment and six smaller exhibitions, each one slightly more disappointing than the last, followed by a visit to the Damp Squib Gift Shop and a cup of disappointingly weak tea in the Dear God Let It End Soon Cafeteria.
And newspapers too have had a thin time of it. Sachin not getting that thing that we don’t talk about in case we jinx it meant that once they’d run the “England are now quite good” story a couple of times, there was very little left to say. In particular, there have been thin-pickings controversy-wise. MS Dhoni’s generosity at Trent Bridge spoiled a perfectly good diplomatic incident and neither Vaselinegate nor Donkeygate really caught on, despite the best efforts of all concerned.
So with only a week to go until the cold bath water of India’s tour finally trickles down the plughole of fate, time is running out for desperate hacks to make a big splash. Hence today’s attempt to turn the Indian team’s non-attendance at the ICC Awards ceremony into a Big Event. The details are thoroughly yawnsome. It was either an administrative blunder or a diplomatic absence. Either way, who cares?
The ICC Awards ceremony, like most awards ceremonies, registers highly on the Hughes Tedium Scale, just above weddings and just below a trip to a carpet warehouse. Expensive suits, tedious speeches and long-winded ceremony: I can get all that on the Parliament Channel. If the Indian players didn’t want to go, who can blame them. I wouldn’t go either, not even if I was offered a ride to the venue in a diamond-studded sleigh pulled by Haroon Lorgat’s flock of prize peacocks.
Thursday, 15th September I’m looking forward to Graeme Swann’s captaincy in the same way that I used to look forward to the clowns at the circus. I don’t mean to imply that Graeme is a clumsy, red-nosed buffoon in oversized shoes and amusing trousers, but he is the comic relief in this England team, the light entertainment amidst the straight-faced performers; a comedy captain for a couple of comedy matches.
And a lot of credit must go to the ECB for their daring scheduling. What better way to satirise the Champions League Twenty20 than by forcing their own players to take part in two meaningless T20 games in order to fulfil the requirements of a television contract based on a deal with an international fraudster. Take that, BCCI! I only hope Giles Clarke will be popping into the England dressing room before the game to ensure that he gets all the credit for this extension to the players’ season.
Andrew Hughes is a writer currently based in England
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broad played a key role in the whitewash of the Indian team in the test series and D/L played a key role in the whitewash of the Indian team in the one day series....there can't be a better series for the mediocre English team
one thing to realize that indians are heros only at home conditions.
It only goes to show that the BCCI is not doing its job. Agreeing to hectic tours, not resting players, sending players on tour only for a vacation with no play time. What happened in England should be a warning of really bad times for cricket in the future if the people in-charge of this game in India do not wake up. We need to find at least 8 more talented players as back up (not taking into account the damn quota system) & groom & train them so that when we are faced with injuries & lack of form of the current lot we can replace them at a moments notice. Getting to number one is one thing, but staying at the top is the difficult part. It only goes to show we were happy to just get there & not stay there.I have been a die-hard fan of cricket all my life, but I dread the day that Sachin retires, I may be looking for another favourite sport (maybe Hockey).........
I feel pity on our people busy blaming our indian players not playing for the country, but for money. Go and get some of our politicians who work for their country but not for money. God dance Indians.
Sachin out of Champions League will be fit for England tour.
The best part of the India-England series was when it finally got over. It seemed only one team wanted to play. However, I find remarks that India is only good at home quite flippant. It implies that other teams are brilliant no matter where they play. I wonder how many series have been won by Aussies or the English in India. I think I used a wrong term as the team should be called England but not English unlike a Sri lankan team can be addressed as lankans, or the India team as Indians but thats another matter ofcourse. Good that England finally won something after decades of toil. I am sure they will try and overcome the jinx of not winning the world cup, no matter where it is held. The Indians ofcourse have won the WC twice, the first time in England where they were labeled as plain lucky to beat England in the Semis & the Windies in the finals and the second time again they were plain lucky as they won on home soil. One can never win. well done to the English sorry, England.
@Kiran,India could have won all the five matches also but not in a single match India batted second .India batted in tough conditions and scored runs compared to England who had an easier time as rain and wet conditions ensured that spinners were negated and India were playing only spinners as Holding pointed out in West Indies
After IPL when ever india played series india lost thay should not play IPL
history repeats itself. India were thrashed by Windies after the 1983 world cup and now are biting dust after 2011 world cup. On both occasions, they felt they are on top of the world but actually, India is never a world beater. Both the world cups were fluke, it is proved.
Before this tour the Indians were the champs, the stars, the no.1 ranked side and other self proclaimed things they won at home and then comes the England tour they were burned to ashes. No world champion has faced such humiliation and it just goes to show arrogance of the Indian players.
Let's be fair last year Pakistan faced a hell lot of problems then the Indians (captaincy changes,the spot fixing saga, bans on players, fights within the team) and were more mentally stressed but under Shahid Afridi they were still competitive enough to win 2 games out of the 5 matches and in the 5 games there was just the last one in which Pakistan lost badly otherwise they showed more courage.
broad played a key role in the whitewash of the Indian team in the test series and D/L played a key role in the whitewash of the Indian team in the one day series....there can't be a better series for the mediocre English team
one thing to realize that indians are heros only at home conditions.
It only goes to show that the BCCI is not doing its job. Agreeing to hectic tours, not resting players, sending players on tour only for a vacation with no play time. What happened in England should be a warning of really bad times for cricket in the future if the people in-charge of this game in India do not wake up. We need to find at least 8 more talented players as back up (not taking into account the damn quota system) & groom & train them so that when we are faced with injuries & lack of form of the current lot we can replace them at a moments notice. Getting to number one is one thing, but staying at the top is the difficult part. It only goes to show we were happy to just get there & not stay there.I have been a die-hard fan of cricket all my life, but I dread the day that Sachin retires, I may be looking for another favourite sport (maybe Hockey).........
I feel pity on our people busy blaming our indian players not playing for the country, but for money. Go and get some of our politicians who work for their country but not for money. God dance Indians.
Sachin out of Champions League will be fit for England tour.
The best part of the India-England series was when it finally got over. It seemed only one team wanted to play. However, I find remarks that India is only good at home quite flippant. It implies that other teams are brilliant no matter where they play. I wonder how many series have been won by Aussies or the English in India. I think I used a wrong term as the team should be called England but not English unlike a Sri lankan team can be addressed as lankans, or the India team as Indians but thats another matter ofcourse. Good that England finally won something after decades of toil. I am sure they will try and overcome the jinx of not winning the world cup, no matter where it is held. The Indians ofcourse have won the WC twice, the first time in England where they were labeled as plain lucky to beat England in the Semis & the Windies in the finals and the second time again they were plain lucky as they won on home soil. One can never win. well done to the English sorry, England.
@Kiran,India could have won all the five matches also but not in a single match India batted second .India batted in tough conditions and scored runs compared to England who had an easier time as rain and wet conditions ensured that spinners were negated and India were playing only spinners as Holding pointed out in West Indies
After IPL when ever india played series india lost thay should not play IPL
history repeats itself. India were thrashed by Windies after the 1983 world cup and now are biting dust after 2011 world cup. On both occasions, they felt they are on top of the world but actually, India is never a world beater. Both the world cups were fluke, it is proved.
Before this tour the Indians were the champs, the stars, the no.1 ranked side and other self proclaimed things they won at home and then comes the England tour they were burned to ashes. No world champion has faced such humiliation and it just goes to show arrogance of the Indian players.
Let's be fair last year Pakistan faced a hell lot of problems then the Indians (captaincy changes,the spot fixing saga, bans on players, fights within the team) and were more mentally stressed but under Shahid Afridi they were still competitive enough to win 2 games out of the 5 matches and in the 5 games there was just the last one in which Pakistan lost badly otherwise they showed more courage.
Seriously, nice to read an amusing piece after the one sided and later boring series. India should play more home matches. Or better, only home matches.
Maybe the desire to avoid the ICC Awards ceremony explains why the Indians allowed themselves to be hammered in England.
England have played better in this series and all credit goes to the 2nglish boys. However, do not forget that some big names from the Indian camp were missing. We(Indians) will be be back to regain the glory. After every dark day there is a bright day well that's what has happened, Indians have gone through the dark phase and its time to shine.
Once the CL T20 kicks off what has happened in england would be forgotten. Come Windies tour of india we will find the Sachins the gambhirs the sehwags the rainas the harbhajans the dhonis the zaheers declaring themselves injured as we all know they love money more than their country. LOSERS!!
"a comedy captain for a couple of comedy matches" Word! I am looking forward to some NOT Churchillian speeches from the Cap.
i am agree with kiran.england is beter side then india.indian are good on there home ground.
this series has proved this concept that to retain a prize is more difficult than winning that prize. akbar the great rightly said that to run a kingdom is more difficult than to win a battle................................................... adnan 4rm rawalpindi
a comedy captain for a couple of comedy matches. nothing can beat that. Though from india, would like swann to win a few. BTW Eng did very very well this series and the Indian injuries are no excuse. Going by the things we would atleast have lost by 7 to nil even if evey one was fit. AND LETS NOT JINX THE BIG THING.
"And a lot of credit must go to the ECB for their daring scheduling. What better way to satirise the Champions League Twenty20 than by forcing their own players to take part in two MEANINGLESS T20 games in order to fulfil the requirements of a television contract based on a deal with an international FRAUDSTER"
best part of the article ....
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"And a lot of credit must go to the ECB for their daring scheduling. What better way to satirise the Champions League Twenty20 than by forcing their own players to take part in two MEANINGLESS T20 games in order to fulfil the requirements of a television contract based on a deal with an international FRAUDSTER"
best part of the article ....
a comedy captain for a couple of comedy matches. nothing can beat that. Though from india, would like swann to win a few. BTW Eng did very very well this series and the Indian injuries are no excuse. Going by the things we would atleast have lost by 7 to nil even if evey one was fit. AND LETS NOT JINX THE BIG THING.
this series has proved this concept that to retain a prize is more difficult than winning that prize. akbar the great rightly said that to run a kingdom is more difficult than to win a battle................................................... adnan 4rm rawalpindi
i am agree with kiran.england is beter side then india.indian are good on there home ground.
"a comedy captain for a couple of comedy matches" Word! I am looking forward to some NOT Churchillian speeches from the Cap.
Once the CL T20 kicks off what has happened in england would be forgotten. Come Windies tour of india we will find the Sachins the gambhirs the sehwags the rainas the harbhajans the dhonis the zaheers declaring themselves injured as we all know they love money more than their country. LOSERS!!
England have played better in this series and all credit goes to the 2nglish boys. However, do not forget that some big names from the Indian camp were missing. We(Indians) will be be back to regain the glory. After every dark day there is a bright day well that's what has happened, Indians have gone through the dark phase and its time to shine.
Maybe the desire to avoid the ICC Awards ceremony explains why the Indians allowed themselves to be hammered in England.
Seriously, nice to read an amusing piece after the one sided and later boring series. India should play more home matches. Or better, only home matches.
Before this tour the Indians were the champs, the stars, the no.1 ranked side and other self proclaimed things they won at home and then comes the England tour they were burned to ashes. No world champion has faced such humiliation and it just goes to show arrogance of the Indian players.
Let's be fair last year Pakistan faced a hell lot of problems then the Indians (captaincy changes,the spot fixing saga, bans on players, fights within the team) and were more mentally stressed but under Shahid Afridi they were still competitive enough to win 2 games out of the 5 matches and in the 5 games there was just the last one in which Pakistan lost badly otherwise they showed more courage.