The week on Twitter June 6, 2013

'The urinal is the place to be!'

The hippest spots in town and more, in our perusal of the finest cricket has to offer on Twitter this week

This week's Twitter round-up is bookended by two tales where prolonged spells of consistency have come to a sad end. One involves a board game, the other involves a restaurant. You've probably guessed that Nando's is involved in the latter, but how and who is the protagonist? So much intrigue. (ESPNcricinfo accepts no responsibility for the reader feeling a little bit underwhelmed once those questions have been answered.)

The winning streak
Graham Onions' perfect record has come to a sad end.

"Just lost at monopoly for the first time in 30 years,devastated"
@BunnyOnions

How often do you play? Once every three decades?

The complete lack of context
Nikita Miller has something he desperately wants to share with the world.

"40%"
@nktmiller

Thanks, Nikita.

The venue
Dale Steyn knows all the best nightspots.

"Walk into the malls bathroom, the music is blasting in here! Seriously, the urinal is the place to be! #shakeit"
@DaleSteyn62

The naturalist
The vocabulary of South Africa's Chris Morris doesn't extend to "nocturnal".

"My body clock is going crazy...becoming a night owl! #hibernation"
@Tipo_Morris

Hibernation was a good attempt, though. Almost exactly wrong, but at least based on similar concepts.

The exclamation mark
This feature will continue until everyone's as irritated by inappropriate exclamation-mark usage as I am. This may take years, which is fine - I can wait.

"Rajasthan Royals becomes first sporting club in the world to have its own line of smart devices! http://bit.ly/12LATR6 #RR"
@rajasthanroyals

"Rajasthan Royals becomes first sporting club in the world to have its own line of smart devices," he exclaimed.

The film review
Stuart Broad reports.

"First half of Gatsby one of the most enjoyable half of a film I've seen for ages. Second half I felt sick from pick N mix so can't judge."
@StuartBroad8

Life with Kemar Roach
Preparation for the Champions Trophy seems to have brought Kemar down considerably.

"Long day"
@KemarAJR

"Sleepless Nights"

"Long Day And It Aint Finish Yet!"

He perks up a little at the prospect of travelling to Cardiff, but it isn't quite enough to turn things around.

"Off To England Tomorrow!"

"Just Touch Down In London Town!"

"Cardiff Here I Come!"

"Long Day, Needed That Rest!"

"Trying To Adjust To This Time Zone! #Cardiff"

However, once things click…

"Good First Practice! Road To Success Has Started!"

He's up and running.

"This Must Be The Worst Weather Ever! #Cold"

And he's back down again.

"Best Day I've Had In Cardiff So Far! #Goodweather"

And he's back up again.

"Off To Birmingham Now!"

It's hard to say how he's going to react to that.

Nando's Watch
Ross Taylor has an ominous question for Scott Styris.

"Not a fan of Nando's bro @scottbstyris :)?"
@RossLTaylor

Say that you are, even if you aren't. It's safer to conform.

The threat
But it isn't always so easy to toe the line, as Shaun Pollock reveals.

"Power outage in the whole of Hillcrest, McDonald 's have a generator- printing money! Nandos and KFC closed. #backupplan"
@7polly7

The change
And every now and again, it has been known for a cricketer to actually choose to go elsewhere. For example, MS Dhoni finally reached breaking point.

"After so many days of nandos finally tonite its all indian food.in this cold weather indian ginger tea is a must after dinner"
@msdhoni

Advice for Nando's: start selling ginger tea immediately.

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

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