August 15, 2013

The week on Twitter

'Ross Taylor, you have the powerful rear to keep'

Alex Bowden
Graeme Swann celebrates with a beer, England v Australia, 4th Investec Test, 4th day, Chester-le-Street, August 12, 2013
"No, I'm not smiling. I'm air-cooling my tongue"  © Getty Images
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This week's Twitter round-up is all about studying. Rodney Hogg takes a linguistics course, Damien Martyn spurns rocket science in favour of ballistics, Alastair Cook passes a captaincy test and Moises Henriques fails his barber's exam, while Shaun Pollock turns his nose up at knowledge in general.

The benefit of hindsight
Shane Warne had been enjoying a horror show.

"Alistair Cook is having a horror with his Captaincy in the last 2 test match's He set the tone early being very defensive & negative today"
@warne888

Tones can change. It worked out okay for him in the end, Shane.

The language barrier
Rodney Hogg was another Australian who endured difficulties during his time in the North-East.

"I went for a walk today in Newcastle, England. I had more chance understanding the locals in La Valletta , Malta on our recent cruise"
@RMHogg

The technology
Damien Martyn was dissatisfied.

"Maybe @cricketicc need to look at other companies and other options re technology it's certainly not rocket science #ashes"
@dmartyn30

You're not wrong. It's probably more accurately described as computer-aided ballistics or something like that.

The scorched palate
But it wasn't just Australians who suffered, according to Graeme Swann.

"My hangover meal of choice today was a Cornish Pasty. The half I left should be at an eatable temperature by Thursday evening if you want it"
@Swannyg66

The skill
Australia's coach has some outstanding qualities according to Scott Styris.

"Useless fact of the day. D Lehmann is the best slips catching 'nicker' of any coach or player I've seen! #yourewelcome #straightbat"
@scottbstyris

Perhaps the Australia middle order are learning from the best.

The necessary attributes
Speaking of nicks, Ross Taylor has always fancied keeping wicket. However, Andre Adams doesn't feel that he has the necessary qualities.

"@RossLTaylor you have the powerful rear to keep. But you're not weird enough..... "
@AndreAdams

The trim
Pat Cummins enlisted Moises Henriques' barber skills.

"Cheers @Mozzie21 for using hedge trimmers to cut my hair. #patches"
@93Cummins

Pat Cummins foolishly enlisted Moises Henriques' barber skills. Is the tonsure coming back into fashion?

The U-turn
Sulieman Benn found himself stuck on a runaway analogy following defeat for his team.

"Back to Trinidad....looking to turn around this train quickly #REDSTEEL"
@suliebenn

Trains rarely turn round, Sulieman.

The minerals
Glenn McGrath quoted his wife, as her comments raised concerns.

"@saramcgrath11:The popcorn's so salty its like licking a salt block #Elysium" Its a concern when ur wife knows what a salt block tastes like"
@glennmcgrath11

"For those who don't know what a salt block is. It's a block you put out for sheep & cattle to get their minerals/salts"

To be fair to Sara, most of us can probably have a pretty decent guess at what a salt block might taste of without actually applying our tongue to one.

Life with Kemar Roach
Kemar is usually very straightforward with his tweets. He tells you when he's getting on a plane; he tells you when he's getting off a plane; he tells you when he's hungry; he tells you when he's tired. This week has seen a more opaque approach.

"On That Magna Carta Shit!"
@KemarAJR

"Power Trip!"

"Millionaire Boys Club!"

"MasterMind"

A bit more context wouldn't go amiss, Kemar.

What's your philosophy?
And you thought knowledge was power. According to Shaun Pollock, knowledge is over-rated.

"In "Info-age"knowledge is plentiful,wisdom is scarce.Wisdom means more than simply knowing a lot,it's a basic attitude that effects all life"
@7polly7

It's "affects" Shaun. Just adding to your bank of knowledge there.

Nando's Watch
James Faulkner was exploring his options.

"On the bus with the boys.. Any suggestion for dinner tonight in Newcastle??"
@FaulknerC25

"Should of added... Something other than Nandos or Subway! Any decent Italian??"

These are dark days.

The final word
From Shaun Tait.

"The comments by people at the bottom of sports articles are hilarious! Have a read for a laugh"
@shaun_tait32

He's talking to you.

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

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