Nana Boycs

Like a certain former England captain, she has a degree in people

Why does Dhoni say 'You can say that'?

Our agony aunt knows why because she's tuned into the players' psyche

Nana Boycs

Comments: 7 | Text size: A | A
The Middletons
The Middletons: Absent from the royal wedding had the BCCI had its way © Getty Images

Somebody regularly rubs butter in my gloves and that's why nothing seems to stick to them, except flies. What should I do? asks Malik Aftab Ahmed Awan
Has Kamran Akmal used that excuse yet? It's a conspiracy theory so it should go down well with the Pakistan board.

I suggest the Gandhian approach to counter such spite. Keep a slice of bread by your gloves next time and shame the perpetrator into buttering the bread rather than your gloves. It's not quite turning the other cheek, like the Mahatma said, but it'll show that you have a generous spirit. If you'd like to be seen as having a humorous spirit, though, place your captain next to your gloves with a note stuck to him that reads: "Apply here for better results".

Can you envision the scenario if the BCCI had been in charge of invitations and security at the royal wedding? asks Will.I.Am
I'd rather not. Prince Charles would be seated behind the Ambanis, the Queen would be asked to leave her crown outside the church for security reasons, the Middletons wouldn't be able to attend because their invite is still "in the mail", Papua New Guinea and Samoa would jointly declare war on Great Britain after their leaders were lathi-charged for standing aside to let a lady pass, Ravi Shastri would announce the bride and groom's entry wrestling style, and there would be no media coverage of the event after the BCCI declares that "entertainment" rights were exclusively sold to a conglomerate of former board officials and their wives.

Why does Dhoni use "Well, of course" and "You can say that" in all his answers to the press? What is he saying? asks sach_is_god
Press conferences are painful places for cricketers. Dhoni has to deal with more stupidity and ridiculousness at those than at Sreesanth's appraisal. Relevance isn't of importance to journalists. They'll ask questions like "Why have you changed your jersey number?" ,"Does your wife jinx your performances?", "Why did Swanny eat an apple for lunch?" "Don't you think Sachin Tendulkar is the world's greatest batsman?", "Why did you bite the ball?", "You were run out for 99 today. Do you think your team-mates hate you?"

Unlike deliveries, players can't answer every question on its merit. So they use gap-fillers like "of course" to compose themselves after being assaulted by idiocy. So the next time you hear Dhoni say "You can say that", you know what he wishes to say is: "I can say that I've seen walls that aren't as dense as you".

Do you see a reconciliation between the WIPA and the WICB in the near future? asks E Hillaireous
Maybe when the machines take over, because, you know, they like things to function smoothly. Come to think of it, has anyone asked the two bodies to work things out through a German mediator?

Nana Boycs was speaking to Samantha Pendergrast during a séance to call on the spirit of Fred Trueman

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Comments: 7 
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Posted by Dummy4 on (May 2, 2011, 20:49 GMT)

royal wedding bit was excellent, great read Samantha!

Posted by Dummy4 on (May 2, 2011, 16:43 GMT)

Hehe. Nice article. Made me laugh. Thank you.

Posted by Satish on (May 2, 2011, 10:27 GMT)

If there was an IPL style auction for all Cricinfo bloggers, statisticians and editors(so many of them - sub-, super-sub, extra-sub, sub-let, etc.) who do you think would go be bought for $1.9M and who would be the one to go the Dada way?

Posted by Charindra on (May 2, 2011, 8:13 GMT)

Ravi Shasthri announcing the bride and groom!! LOL!!!! I almost fell off my chair! "Namaste London! Are you ready to rock!!!!!!" When the vows are being exchanged he might say "Just get the feeling something's going to give." :D

Posted by Ishan on (May 2, 2011, 8:02 GMT)

The WICB and WIPA will need the Swiss!! The Germans aren't half as cold or efficient! By the way, I've heard that the BCCI is stinking rich, but its management style is still third-world. Is it true?

Posted by Dummy4 on (May 2, 2011, 7:02 GMT)

BCCI in charge of the royal wedding was hilarious :D

Posted by Dummy4 on (May 2, 2011, 6:30 GMT)

DHONI SPECIALS- well of course thanks a lot u can say that DADA SPECIAL- using hind word "ki" in an english sentence eg-"we knew 'ki' sachin will handle warne' dravid special-using the word FANTASTIC again and agin and again.

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