This, that and the other. Mostly the other
In a move to become consistent with their overall rationale, the BCCI said today that it would oppose the BCCI because the BCCI isn't 100% error-free. The BCCI cited the BCCI's sometimes irrational opposition of developments in cricket as one of the primary reasons the BCCI will irrationally oppose the BCCI.
"We realise that by opposing the BCCI, we are being counter-productive and therefore less perfect," said an official of the board. "But by opposing the BCCI, we are being consistent in our opposition of things that are not 100% error-free, which in turn means we are closer to perfection.
"It was kind of a Catch 22 for us and this is the way we decided to swing."
The official said that a recent survey showing most players think the BCCI has too much power in the ICC had little to do with the BCCI's decision to oppose the BCCI.
"The players are entitled to their own opinion and can express it, but the BCCI is a structured organisation and we make all our decisions ourselves - some of which are pretty terrible decisions, to be honest," he said, attempting to be consistent with the BCCI's new policy of opposing the BCCI, which in turn was based on the desire to be more consistent.
"Seriously, on that DRS call… what was the BCCI thinking? Everyone else seems to be on board with it."
The official also said that a myriad other imperfections within the BCCI contributed to the BCCI's decision to oppose the BCCI. "We weren't convinced by the BCCI's handling of the IPL so far, or their stance on the SLPL, which led us to believe that the BCCI weren't 100% error-free.
"Also, the BCCI's eighth-floor copier is always low on toner for some reason, which annoys the hell out of everyone and really dents the BCCI's daily productivity when the printing line gets backed up. It's another reason why we decided to oppose the BCCI."
The BCCI is also set to oppose several other things that are clearly not error-free, according to the official. After realising that their own grasp of language was not absolutely perfect, the BCCI reportedly plans to conduct meetings, discuss important topics and make vital decisions through interpretive dance in the future.
As telephone and email are also imperfect, the BCCI will communicate only using smoke signals, and board employees will attempt to travel everywhere via umbrella, like Mary Poppins, as land, rail, water and air transport can be unreliable.
Despite all this, the source said the BCCI is not necessarily going to remain indifferent towards the BCCI forever.
"When the BCCI become 100% error-free, the BCCI will welcome the BCCI," he said. "But until the BCCI president looks like Michelangelo's David and their press releases read like a Shakespeare play, our hands are tied."
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