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The BCCI decides to oppose the BCCI

Indian board says it will work against itself since it is not perfect

Andrew Fernando

Comments: 32 | Text size: A | A
Albert Einstein circa 1930
One of the applicants rejected for the post of the BCCI's scientific advisor for not being brainy enough © Getty Images
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In a move to become consistent with their overall rationale, the BCCI said today that it would oppose the BCCI because the BCCI isn't 100% error-free. The BCCI cited the BCCI's sometimes irrational opposition of developments in cricket as one of the primary reasons the BCCI will irrationally oppose the BCCI.

"We realise that by opposing the BCCI, we are being counter-productive and therefore less perfect," said an official of the board. "But by opposing the BCCI, we are being consistent in our opposition of things that are not 100% error-free, which in turn means we are closer to perfection.

"It was kind of a Catch 22 for us and this is the way we decided to swing."

The official said that a recent survey showing most players think the BCCI has too much power in the ICC had little to do with the BCCI's decision to oppose the BCCI.

"The players are entitled to their own opinion and can express it, but the BCCI is a structured organisation and we make all our decisions ourselves - some of which are pretty terrible decisions, to be honest," he said, attempting to be consistent with the BCCI's new policy of opposing the BCCI, which in turn was based on the desire to be more consistent.

"Seriously, on that DRS call… what was the BCCI thinking? Everyone else seems to be on board with it."

The official also said that a myriad other imperfections within the BCCI contributed to the BCCI's decision to oppose the BCCI. "We weren't convinced by the BCCI's handling of the IPL so far, or their stance on the SLPL, which led us to believe that the BCCI weren't 100% error-free.

"Also, the BCCI's eighth-floor copier is always low on toner for some reason, which annoys the hell out of everyone and really dents the BCCI's daily productivity when the printing line gets backed up. It's another reason why we decided to oppose the BCCI."

The BCCI is also set to oppose several other things that are clearly not error-free, according to the official. After realising that their own grasp of language was not absolutely perfect, the BCCI reportedly plans to conduct meetings, discuss important topics and make vital decisions through interpretive dance in the future.

As telephone and email are also imperfect, the BCCI will communicate only using smoke signals, and board employees will attempt to travel everywhere via umbrella, like Mary Poppins, as land, rail, water and air transport can be unreliable.

Despite all this, the source said the BCCI is not necessarily going to remain indifferent towards the BCCI forever.

"When the BCCI become 100% error-free, the BCCI will welcome the BCCI," he said. "But until the BCCI president looks like Michelangelo's David and their press releases read like a Shakespeare play, our hands are tied."

Andrew Fernando writes for The Pigeon and has a column here

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Comments: 32 
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Posted by Dummy4 on (June 26, 2011, 7:32 GMT)

lol lol lol !!!! dis 1 made me jump of d seat lliterally. full of wit nd humour. well written andrew .

Posted by Naveed on (June 25, 2011, 6:05 GMT)

LOL Excellent piece of wit and humour. LMAO @ "the BCCI reportedly plans to conduct meetings, discuss important topics and make vital decisions through interpretive dance in the future" Good work !

Posted by Damon on (June 24, 2011, 21:51 GMT)

@PantheraLeo - if there is a Sinhalese saying about "Trade in ginger for chillies" then please send me over a boat load of red hot chillies and I'll put Paul Collingwood in the post. Thanks.

Posted by Dummy4 on (June 24, 2011, 21:15 GMT)

wat brilliant???BCCI itself brilliant,BCCI rocks...infact it has 2011 world cup,#1 test team n #1 t-20 team n #2 oneday team...n #1 board of cricket....wenever i open dis website always found articles against BCCI...m nt in favour of BCCI too but nw dis is too much....moreover i like dis article..brilliant!

Posted by Dummy4 on (June 24, 2011, 19:49 GMT)

May be Mr.Fernando was targeting SEO by using the keyword BCCI hell a number of times. I was hoping it to be a funny article but it actually bored me, it was a good start but boring read on the whole.

Posted by al on (June 24, 2011, 19:08 GMT)

@IndigoRavisher: Are you thinking of Zalman King ?

Posted by Pasca on (June 24, 2011, 16:45 GMT)

"the BCCI reportedly ...interpretive dance in the future". Really? That's kindergarten humor. Such a meaty topic, laid to waste. I think you should really just let the Zalman Andy guy do this sort of thing.

Posted by Dummy4 on (June 24, 2011, 16:41 GMT)

Wait I was searching for page 2.. its looks like Page 22 of a tabloid magazine.. Pathetic sense of humor I must say :(

Posted by Amjad on (June 24, 2011, 16:36 GMT)

"discuss important topics and make vital decisions through interpretive dance in the future" might as well be a good idea. indians historically good at dancing more than cricket :D

Posted by Ramprasad on (June 24, 2011, 16:32 GMT)

Great stuff! At the end I lost count of the number of times 'BCCI' appears in the article!LOL!!

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