The Heavy Ball

This, that and the other. Mostly the other

The week on Twitter

'Great stuff pig, pleased for u'

Porcine terms of endearment and more in this week's Twitter round-up

Alex Bowden

Comments: 3 | Text size: A | A
Scott Styris' best shots were played down the ground, Sussex v Gloucestershire, Friends Life T20, Hove, July, 24, 2012
Styris: well done, Babe © Getty Images

The summary
You only get 140 characters for a tweet, but sometimes that's enough to sum up an entire Test match. Step forward David "Bumble" Lloyd.

"4th new ball due in 80 overs"

The spare part
It would probably be inaccurate to describe South Africa's first Test win over England as a team performance. A few of the batsmen had very little to do beyond handing the ball back to the bowlers. Jacques Rudolph's still got something to be proud of, however.

"Great team effort and some serious personal performances including my Thanks-For-Coming award! #proteas"

The beast
Scott Styris hit a 37-ball hundred for Sussex this week, but this doesn't seem to have earned him any particularly flattering nicknames from his fellow New Zealanders.

"@scottbstyris well played fat boy. You won't be walking tomorrow!"
@Martyguptill (Martin Guptill )

"Tremendous performance from @scottbstyris. Great stuff pig, pleased for u"
@SPFleming7 (Stephen Fleming )

It's great to earn the respect of your peers.

The hypocrite
Graeme Swann can be critical about others' driving.

"Hats off to Cooky for his hundred today. Hats back on to his wife for getting the 4x4 stuck in a sheep field."

However, two days later, Jimmy Anderson had this to say.

"Not a great start to the day. In the car with @Swannyg66, he's been driving for 15 minutes and we are back at the hotel! #late"

It seems like England's spinner produces plenty of turn when he's behind the wheel as well. A doosra might prevent him from going round in circles.

The jet set lifestyle
Martin Guptill's been travelling in style.

"In Antigua now. Gave @RossLTaylor a hiding at scrabble on the plane."

Nothing says "privileged sportsman" quite like using a Q on a triple-word score.

The revelation
Pat Cummins received some shocking news.

"Got my world rocked today when I found out the main ingredient in BBQ Sauce is Tomatos. I won't ever look at it the same now... #rattled"

That does sound pretty harrowing.

The end
Not as harrowing as this, however. Francois du Plessis has some seriously worrying news from Zimbabwe.

"Time has finished here in zim.looking forward to going home,nice to have a trophy to take back with us.#SaAsideunbeaten"

Time has finished? He seems rather blasé about that apocalyptic development. What happens at the end of time, Francois? How did this come about? What if it spreads? Why aren't you more afraid?

The audible criticism
Ravichandran Ashwin was involved in another run-out.

"Yes guys, I hear you. Unfortunately dint hear Gauti today. Will work on it. Promise. Now, where are the "running" jokes?"

The falling standards
Jonathan Agnew goes to Lord's no matter what sport it is playing host to.

"Best example yet of how Lord's is embracing the Olympic Archery - we don't have to wear jacket OR tie in the pavilion...(no shorts though)"

Tino Best's modesty corner
"Well played to my friend and former Room-mate Hashim Amla pure class buddy of the most humble if not the most humble human being ever"

Oh come on, Tino. Surely he can't rival your own humility? Once again, you're being too modest.

What's your philosophy?
Pat Symcox this week.

"Listen with the intent to understand, rather than just waiting to respond."

Needless to say, Shaun Pollock retweeted that. He hates to see trite, overly-earnest self-improvement quotes passing by without being associated with them in some way.

Nando's Watch
"Taking these two tourist to nandos."
@ronniesarwan (Ramnaresh Sarwan)

RSS FeedAlex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

Tell us what you think. Send us your feedback

© ESPN Sports Media Ltd.

Comments: 3 
. Your ESPN name '' will be used to display your comments. Please click here to edit this.
Comments have now been closed for this article

Posted by anagh on (July 26, 2012, 12:03 GMT)

This column is going from strength to strength. Absolutely love it.

Posted by Ishan on (July 26, 2012, 8:42 GMT)

Glad Tendulkar's boring snooze-tweets have been replaced by Nando's watch :p - a lot more interesting!

Posted by Dummy4 on (July 26, 2012, 8:37 GMT)

hahah these are so funny.

Email this page to a friend Email Feedback Feedback Print Print
More in The Heavy Ball
RSS FeedAll
  • ESPN
  • ESPNF1
  • Scrum
  • Soccernet