Panesar talks of search for inner happiness

Monty Panesar has spoken for the first time about his troubled summer and expressed his ambition to play for England again. Panesar took an indefinite break from the sport at the end of April and has admitted that he "fell out of love with cricket".

"In pre-season I was unhappy about several aspects of my career and life, but I am now feeling refreshed, re-energised and refocused in becoming the best version of Monty I can be, on and off the field of play."

"I am now prioritising my well-being first and my cricket second even though cricket is a very big priority in my life," he said, while declaring his determination to remain involved in the game. "I love cricket and I love bowling. I want to play at the top level again and also, one day, coach young spinners."

Panesar's words will encourage many who feared that, at the age of just 33, he was drifting away from the first-class game: his two-year contract with Essex expires at the end of the season and it is understood that it is unlikely to be renewed. It is understood that Leicestershire, who had been linked with Panesar, would not attempt to sign him.

"Monty is not thinking too much about the future at this stage and is just focused on being happy, enjoying his cricket and bowling well over the coming weeks," his personal coach Neil Burns said. "I believe that if this happens he will soon find that other things will fall into place naturally. He is taking full responsibility for his actions and whilst the past few years have been difficult, I believe he has gone through some powerful learning and is now focused on maintaining his self-improvement on and off the field and prioritising his wellbeing."

Panesar has drawn strength from his surprise recall for Essex last week. Although he failed to bowl Essex to victory on the final day, with Surrey's batsmen saying that he bowled too flat and too quickly, Panesar claimed four wickets in the first innings and provided a glimpse of the qualities that earned 50 England Test caps, the most recent of which was the Boxing Day Test in 2013. Panesar even hit a six, smiting is third delivery down the ground.

"The supporters at Essex are brilliant and it reminded me of the wonderful reception I got when I first played for the club on loan back in 2013, which was also at Castle Park," Panesar reflected. "Despite my difficulties they remain very good towards me. This means a great deal to me even though few people know the extent of my personal challenges."

As well as Essex's staff, many people have been involved in assisting Panesar in recent months. He has worked extensively the Professional Cricketers' Association, the ECB's national spin coach Peter Such, the mental conditioning coach Peter Gilmour and above all Burns.

"They have been very helpful as a key part of the experienced professional support I have around me," Panesar said. "I have been fortunate to have key people around me who I trust and who really have my own best interests at heart. I am working with some very experienced people to enable me to develop the balance and inner happiness I want to have so that more possibilities in my life can open up in a good way over time."

Burns said that Panesar's difficulties had been both physical and mental. "I am not sure one can separate one from the other," he said. "Monty has been through a very challenging period in his life."

Panesar's determination to play for England again was reiterated by Burns, who even suggested that he was aiming to use Essex's final four County Championship games to push for a spot in the tour to the UAE to play Pakistan in October. "I know he really wants to go to UAE this winter and recreate the success he had against Pakistan previously. He loves bowling in the UAE."