4.15pm: Well, who saw that one coming? England go to the Caribbean as favourites... England get handed their backsides. It's becoming a theme. Still, there are two Tests in which to try and turn it around. Two Tests in which West Indies will be aiming to confirm their supremacy - you couldn't ask for more, really. Anyway, Valkerie's report will be in the slot imminently and Miller and I will start stretching off for the second Test, starting at the Sir Viv Stadium on Thursday. England have been properly splattered at the old fortress of Bridgetown... just imagine if they had come up against this lot! That's it from us for now, I'll let Davo have the last word. Cheerio!
Davo: "Every time England has a series against Windies (since 2000) they always mention the Ashes... They always make it look like it's a trial series... Well take that and enjoy... Caribbean Fiyah!"
4pm: Right, ready for some presentations? First time England have lost a Test with Sam Curran in the side, by the way... Question is, will he still be in it come Antigua? One for England captain Joe Root, perhaps: "Bitterly disappointed we're a far better side than played this week, got to keep remembering how well we have played in the past and it's crucial to bounce back quickly and strongly. Shown character in turning things around before, hopefully we can do that again. [Wrong call on team?] After a match it's easy to make selection calls, when you see how the pitch plays. Yes, we could have gone down a different route, but that doesn't change the way we played, we're a far better side, got to make sure we turn up in Antigua and perform. We have to come back hard, be ready for everything West Indies throw at us. Fair play to them, they played extremely good cricket over the four days. We've got to make sure we're a far better team, continue the hard work and go about things on the field as we have done in practice."
West Indies captain Jason Holder is named Man of the Match: "Really good for me personally, been a while since I've played, sitting out the series in Bangladesh was tough, really pleased with how I've come back, getting back to full fitness. [Celebrations for double-hundred?] Lot bubbling up for a long time, had the moment to express myself for a bit... To help Shane get to his hundred as well, and credit to Roston Chase today, he was patient and got the ball in the right areas. [Emotions?] Extremely special, just want to say thanks to mum and dad, and to my step-mum, also to my two brothers, lots to be proud of. [What next?] One Test match doesn't make a summer, been in this position before so lots of hard work to be done. It's a matter of turning up in Antigua and doing the same."
3.45pm: Jason Holder is a giant among mortals as he walks from the field, holding a stump aloft. Roston Chase poses with the ball that secured him career-best figures. There'll be pats on the back for Shimron Hetmyer, who blazed throughout (and took a snorting catch at short leg) and Kemar Roach, who lit the fire under England on day two. England know what it's like to take a beating in the Caribbean, but this is right up there - their second-heaviest defeat to West Indies, in terms of runs alone. Holder's team are taking a tour of the ground to salute the fans - West Indies go 1-0 up in the series and England, if they didn't before, know they are in a contest now!
"Holder and Dowrich made 323 runs in this test match, the same as the entire England team," scoffs Rathang Joshi. "And they were not out in the second innings." Yep, it's a thrashing!
"England lose last 9 wkts for 112 runs," Pradeep D, "a small-scale collapse as per their standards on a day Australia achieved an innings win." They certainly fell away from a promising start, given them by Rory Burns. Good to see the Ashes phoney war is already up and running
Here's Burli: "I liken this England team to a funfair containing a mix of rollercoasters that launch you to high-heights immediately followed by extreme plunges, stalls selling fast food with a kick but no fibre and finally a healthy smattering of horror shows."
"Eight wickets for a part time spinner. This is how we feel when Moeen Ali takes wickets against India," snickers Mevij
The new ball is due... but Roston Chase probably feels he's due another
All over bar the warbling. Here's a gallery of the action so far.
Ronny: "Chase should be considered for MoM. Half century, 7* wickets." Aye, he's a candidate
"Think Holder wants these overs done quick, get the new ball to wrap it up." Ah, good spot, Simar Varaich. One more over until it's available
"As great as Holder's knock was, West Indies had already won the match even before he came to bat," muses Calcu20. "Roach is my choice for Man of the Match."
Chase wheels away, an eight-for in his sights