Nightmare for Yadav

The ball was floating through the air. It almost seemed to hang there, like a UFO or an orb. It seemed like a ball from a dream, as if I’d fallen asleep during the mega super punter-pup partnership and had concocted this surreal floating ball above Adelaide Oval.

It wasn’t my imagination, it was an actual ball, and Umesh Yadav had delivered it.

Even before Yadav had brought up his hundred runs, cricket nerds were sweating over the fact that he was going to bring up his hundred at better than a run a ball. The cricket nerd amateur comedian loves moments like these.

There is no reason that Yadav shouldn’t be mocked for his performance in this match. Although, you could also applaud him for getting Australia to their inevitable declaration quicker.

Sometimes everything just comes together perfectly. As for Yadav, he has combined every single bad ball in his armoury for one Test.

It’s not unsurprising, if you put a young fast wayward bowler on Adelaide Oval against two in-form top-class batsmen, it’s not often going to end up as the end of a coming-of-age drama, it’s more likely to be the middle bit where the kid hits a real low point and worries about his future.

I really like Yadav, he has a fast bowler’s face, is built surprisingly well when you see him walking around in a singlet and his tattoo is not too bad. But, bad is bad, and this has been bad, even by bad’s standards.

That’s not to say that even through all of this, Yadav hasn’t done some amazing things with the ball.

Yadav gifted Michael Clarke an easy century with two dreadful balls that were easily discharged, but the ball after he smacked him on the helmet. It still went to the fence, which is just Yadav’s luck. But the skill you need to hit a batsman on the head who is seeing the ball like he’s been bowled campervans is extraordinary.

And it wasn’t just that ball.

Yadav also gave Ponting his hundred, and next ball he beat him.

The ball of my semi-conscious dream was my favourite moment. It came just a few seconds after the 300-run partnership had been passed and Yadav managed to slam one into the top of Clarke’s bat. I can’t even say where, as I think I was in a batting coma by that stage.

It was so odd I wasn’t even sure I’d see it right. It was more like a hallucination than a normal cricket event. But there it was, the ball looping further and further into the air, and then almost hanging before gently placing itself safely into short third man.

Cut to Yadav, who had on his angry-fast-bowler face.

He deserved better for that ball, but it shows that even on his worst day (and for him you can only hope it doesn’t get much worse) he’s a bad man when he gets it right. And I mean bad in the best possible way, this time.

Yadav is perhaps not yet reality for India, but he’s more than just another fast-bowling dream.