The lure of poker

I now know why Shane Warne has decided not to grace us with his presence over this county season. The lure of poker.

It is always tough early season when the first team squads are revealed for the first few games and you’re name is not in them. It is made even more frustrating when you have, cumulatively, seven days of cricket rained off. The only way to force yourself into the side is by weight of runs or wicket-taking sprees. When you don’t actually get on the park, I’m sure you can appreciate this task is made all the more difficult.

Second team game at Horsham C.C. – the wicket is wet, the outfield wetter – no play possible for three days. So what to do? There are no adequate practice facilities or gym available…after the customary inter-squad (slightly heated) game of football, there is only one answer – countless and seemingly endless games of poker.

Given that during pre-season every county squad attended a PCA-organized seminar entitled ‘addictive behaviour awareness’ you would be forgiven for questioning our sanity. But sanity, I assure you, is the last thing on your mind when it is not raining and you still can’t do what you’re paid to do.

Poker is not unlike cricket. There are many ways of succeeding. Inevitably it is the player who holds his nerve at the vital times who will prevail. To get to the eventual end point where all the money is yours, (we only play for small stakes I promise), you can either play like Adam Gilchrist, Kevin Pietersen or any other such destructive entity. In doing so, you are aggressive, unpredictable and bully other players into fragile decision making. Or you can grind it out, Mark Richardson-style, until all others get so bored and frustrated that they throw their chips at you and stomp of cursing what an annoying, boring, negative, wimp you are. Much like cricket, and like many a batsman who has reached 100 not out off a mountain of balls that has had such abuse directed their way, you can offer a simple retort: ‘look at the scoreboard chump!’ Translated for the poker table: ‘look at all my chips bozo!’

I will leave it to your judgement to guess which type of player I am, suffice to say that like my cricket, I am no Adam Gilchrist…

It all makes for good, clean, competitive fun and keeps everyone on their toes for when we do actually play some cricket, which at some point soon I would love to report to you. For now, I will have to comment on the two recent first team games – the first one being in front of the Sky cameras against Yorkshire at a bitterly cold Riverside. Those of you who saw the game on TV could be forgiven for thinking that Neil Killeen was simply fuming at the fact that his last over went for 22, he was in fact breathing steam, much like you would on a frosty, mid-winter morning as you scrape layers of ice of your car.

The game was notable for a class innings from new overseas signing Neil McKenzie, who held together a faltering 50-over innings under difficult circumstances. And no less for a cool display of death bowling from Graham Onions, to ensure that an improbable Yorkshire comeback did not materialize. A win and a good start all round.

So to the first championship game against Surrey, who seemingly had a dream batting line-up. But then again, we seemingly have a dream bowling line-up. A great contest between bat and ball was, predictably, thwarted by the rain. Two assured fifties from Dale Benkenstein, one from Mark Stoneman, and some penetrative seam bowling again from Graham Onions the high points of a game that, were it allowed to reach a natural conclusion, would surely have been our first championship win of many this season.

Next week, hopefully I will have tales of more wins, great aggressive play, periods of assured defensive resilience and pairs of sixes aplenty. From the cricket pitch and green baize of the poker table in equal measure I imagine. Just call me Will ‘Snake-Eyes’ Smith!