'First time I've seen a toilet roll at my dinner table'

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Attention?

Some people have gone a long way on sugar anyway. Jake Ball knows how to celebrate being called into an England squad for the first time.

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That's living.

Or is this living?

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No, wait. This next one is the height of decadence. This is living.

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Whereas we could call this one "still living".

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James Taylor (also still living) remains upbeat.

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Taylor's former team-mate Graeme Swann provides an example as to how one can lead a productive retirement.

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And another ex-England player who's perhaps coping less well.

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But then again, Kieswetter does appear to have found love.

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Kevin Pietersen's position on coffee is as follows.

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No one comes to mind.

KP's other great obsession is how English cricket needs a franchise tournament like the IPL. Does he ever stop going on about it? Of course he does.

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Last time around, yet another coffee-related incident saw Kevin Pietersen become "Cabin" Pietersen. Apparently he's not the only one to have enjoyed a name change in recent weeks.

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Somewhere in the world there is always a cricketer moaning about air travel.

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And as we know, you can also count on an in-flight selfie - always with sunglasses.

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Finally, you don't hear of a cricketer going to Nando's for months and then suddenly a whole load of them pile in at once.

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And again.

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