'You can't have tea tea'
Follow too many cricketers on Twitter and you'd be forgiven for thinking that the microblogging site is not a medium that lends itself to discussion of complex issues. Not so. This week we tackle all the important stuff: beverage nomenclature, meteorological ramifications, and bag identification. We also learn a hell of a lot about the preparation and evaluation of foodstuffs.
Ravi Bopara's incensed.
Why not dip a biscotti biscuit in it and relax a little?
The absolute worst
Shaun Marsh's imagination isn't up to much.
"Nothing worse than a 2 day tooth ache"
So you'll feel a lot better tomorrow when you've still got toothache, will you?
The torrid weather
Have you ever woken up and the weather's been so bad that you couldn't even bring yourself to get out of bed? Alviro Petersen has had that experience.
Those mild winds can cut right through you.
The lively winged mammals
Phil Hughes has been under attack from all angles recently, but Damien Martyn witnessed what sounds like a vicious nocturnal assault on the poor lad.
This is why we have commas.
The recovery position
Tim Bresnan wishes Graeme Swann well, having had elbow surgery recently himself.
"Bender" is the affectionate name Bresnan gave to the machine that continually bent his arm during his recovery.
The wrong bag
But Graeme Swann's got bigger worries.
Blame the oxycodone.
The middle seat
Dale Steyn didn't get a window seat or an aisle seat.
That's how you sit in a chair and occasionally get up, people.
Pat Cummins is cooking.
A poor workman always blames his tools.
Life with Kemar Roach
Spare no details, Kemar.
"Gym Time! #Summerbody"
It's amazing that we are still learning more about him each week. That fact in itself speaks of a man boasting enormous depth.
The issue of the day
So too Jonny Bairstow, who is in need of answers to some of the bigger questions in life.
Aesthetically? Or is this a culinary query?
What's your philosophy?
Let's finish with the words of the wisest cricketer of all - Shaun Pollock.
As we've seen above, Twitter is very much the home of thorough, patient contemplation. It is there that we can find considered answers to all the burning questions of the day.
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket