'Could you open your eyes wider, Suraj?'

	"You're going to really have to work on your comedy batting if you're to fool them, aren't you?" © Associated Press Enlarge
Related Links Players/Officials: Tillakaratne Dilshan | Mahela Jayawardene | Suraj Randiv | Kumar Sangakkara Series/Tournaments: Sri Lanka tour of England and Scotland Teams: Sri Lanka

Dilshan: Okay, let's start with the openers. Any ideas?

Sangakkara: Well, we could get Murali on early and… oh.

Dilshan: "Oh" indeed. We've no Murali. We need some different plans.

Jayawardene: I don't like it. I'm not happy.

Sangakkara: England have got two left-handers opening the batting. I think we could ask the quicks to go round the wicket to them. That might work.

Dilshan: Why? Do you think they'll struggle with the change of angle?

Sangakkara: Not so much that. It's just that going round the wicket will create more rough for later in the game.

Dilshan: For what?

Sangakkara: Well, for… oh.

Dilshan: We haven't got Murali. I can't emphasise this enough. We have to come up with plans that don't revolve around him.

Jayawardene: I really don't like it. I'm really not happy about this at all.

Dilshan: But the round-the-wicket idea isn't necessarily a bad one. We can try that. And we have still got an offspinner.

Sangakkara: We have?

Dilshan: Yes, we have - Randiv.

Sangakkara: Randiv?

Dilshan: Yes, Randiv. Suraj Randiv.

Sangakkara: It's not ringing a bell.

Dilshan: He's played for Sri Lanka about 30 times. Suraj Randiv.

Sangakkara: No. Nothing. I'm drawing a complete blank.

Dilshan: Tell you what, I'll get him in here. See if it jogs your memory.

Jayawardene: This isn't good. I'm not happy. Not happy at all.

Dilshan: Suraj. Suraj, get in here. We want a quick word.

Jayawardene: Not happy. Not happy. Not one bit.

Dilshan: Suraj, Kumar was just, er, wondering if you had any ideas about bowling to the England batsmen.

Randiv: Just keep it tight, you know. Good lines. Wait for mistakes.

Dilshan: Mahela, stop doing that. Stop looking at him like that. Stop staring. It's intimidating. Give the poor lad a chance.

Jayawardene: Who does he think he is?

Sangakkara: Hmm. I dunno. I'm just not sure whether this is really going to work. I mean he's not Murali, is he?

Randiv: No, I'm not Murali. If I can do half the things he did, I'll be proud of myself. I'm sure I can do a good job for Sri Lanka, though.

Sangakkara: Could you, er… Could you maybe open your eyes a bit wider, Suraj?

Randiv: Sorry?

Sangakkara: Just, you know, open your eyes as wide as they'll go. Good and wide.

Randiv: What, like this…?

Sangakkara: Yeah, that's kind of it. That's kind of a start.

Dilshan: See? It's not so bad. We can cope without Murali.

Jayawardene: Don't say that. Take that back right now.

Dilshan: No, it's fine. It's not ideal, but we've got Suraj. This can work.

Sangakkara: I'm still not really feeling it.

Dilshan: No?

Sangakkara: No.

Dilshan: How about if he bent his wrists a bit further? Would that help?

Sangakkara: Maybe.

Dilshan: Suraj, could you sort of flap your wrists back as if you've got extra joints?

Randiv: Well, no…

Dilshan: Oh… This is a problem.

Sangakkara: This is a problem.

Jayawardene: Get out… Just get out of my sight… Get out of my sight right now.