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The week on Twitter

'Mango pickle, tomato pickle, garlic pickle, they're all good'

A lack of discrimination, and worse crimes, in this week's Twitter round-up

Alex Bowden

Comments: 5 | Text size: A | A
Shane Watson reads to children from a local school,  World T20 2012, Colombo, September 27, 2012
"Have you had the bitter gourd with mixed berry? You've got to have the bitter gourd with mixed berry" © ICC/Getty

This week on Twitter, we learn how Chris Gayle sees himself, how Matthew Hayden spends his free time, how Lou Vincent's passing his retirement and how Dale Steyn measures fun. There's also the intriguing mystery of Kemar Roach's lost hour.

The fence-sitter
Matthew Hayden's so afraid of offending people, he won't even commit to a favourite pickle.

"Mango Pickle, Lime Pickle, Garlic Pickle, Tomato Pickle they are all good."

But which is best, Matthew? Commit to a firm position on this issue.

The job title
For his Twitter bio, Chris Gayle has decided to go with "World Boss" and nothing more.

The ladies' man
Mitch Marsh is getting flashbacks.

"Usually it's hard to shut cab drivers up, my driver is giving me absolutely nothing, it reminds me of when I talk to any female. #nochat"

Maybe you should stop asking women to drive you places all the time.

The rhyming dictionary
Graeme Smith has a challenge for us.

"Who can say ram slam glam cam 3 times fast.........."

No, but I can say "Why?" very slowly and deliberately.

The self-satisfaction
Matthew Hayden's mulling things over.

"Sitting in Airport Lounge in Hyderabad thinking about home and just how amazing my life is. Until next time Hyd:)"

He probably schedules time for that each day. When you're on a non-stop rollercoaster of joy - eating pickle, waiting for flights and the like - it's hard to find the time to appreciate just how amazing your life is.

The nickname
Lancastrian Graeme Fowler points out a flaw in the team across the Pennines being renamed Yorkshire Vikings.

"So Yorkshire Ccc who are fiercely patriotic to their birth place have named their team after some foreign invaders!"

The metric
Did Dale Steyn have fun when he visited a theme park?

"If fun is measured in how much u chunder then I had a AWESOME day... #6flagmagicmountain"

That is not how you measure fun. At best, it is an occasional by-product of certain types of fun.

The retirement
Has Lou Vincent been busy since he retired from cricket?

"DOMESTIC LESSON 1: Don't do the floors first and then do benches. You then have to do floors again and that's not good maths in my mind.."

"...... And then you burn your cheese on toast while doing the floors again because blokes are easily distracted...."

"..... And then you drop the toast so the floors need to be done again.... Real bad maths..... Life is a crack up!"

The old floor-doing, cheese-on-toast-burning-and-dropping scenario - we've all been there. Thanks for the advice. Can't wait for domestic lesson two. Hopefully it'll shed more light on your unconventional understanding of the word "maths".

The facts
According to Surrey's Jason Roy:

"Jay Z is king #fact"

Not a fact.

According to Worcestershire's Alan Richardson:

"Beetroot juice is rank. Fact."


Life with Kemar Roach
Once again, it's all go for Kemar.

"Busy Day Ahead!"

One hour later.

"Breakfast And Catch Up On Some Sleep! #Knackerd"

You don't know what he did during that hour. Maybe he's just really efficient.

What's your philosophy?
Lonwabo Tsotsobe.

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. Nyt all."

What if people are only throwing bricks that have been deemed unfit for purpose? In that case wouldn't it be plain irresponsible to commence construction?

RSS FeedAlex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

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Comments: 5 
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Comments have now been closed for this article

Posted by V.L on (March 9, 2013, 4:38 GMT)

Tsotsobe's one was the funniest for me. Lesson for cricketers not to get too philosophical on twitter. Alex Bowden is watching! ;)

Posted by aditya on (March 7, 2013, 13:29 GMT)

kemar roach tweet was really funny impressive commentry though

Posted by Shashank on (March 7, 2013, 13:10 GMT)

This section of this website is the best #fact

Posted by Srinivas on (March 7, 2013, 11:40 GMT)

That was pretty good commenting.

Posted by Sarthak on (March 7, 2013, 6:11 GMT)

Went through your challenge smoothly, Biffy. Yippee!

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