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What would the world be like without Tendulkar?
It's a question we need to care about. It's also a question nobody is asking
Sidin Vadukut
08-Nov-2013
As one of the greatest exponents of this great sport inches closer and closer to the end of his career, there are deep divisions in the cricketing firmament. There are many, of course, who believe that Sachin Tendulkar's career is something that must be celebrated without reservation or criticism. They believe that Tendulkar's legacy is above reproach.
Lined up against them are a smaller but no less vocal group of sensible people, who while acknowledging his cricketing abilities and achievements are deeply critical of his prolonged career and the long-term disruptive effects of the latter half of the Tendulkar era on Indian and world cricket.
But today this wholly neutral columnist will not take any sides in this debate.
Full post'Always a stinker when you drop your phone down the toilet'
This fortnight we flush out the best cricket tweets and give you the rest
Alex Bowden
07-Nov-2013
Twitter's great for giving you an insight into the lives of professional cricketers. An Ashes tour must be amazing…
The tourists
Chris Tremlett has a method for combating home sickness.
Chris Tremlett has a method for combating home sickness.
Sling box is a great invention. Being able to watch tv from home when there's s*** on tv here makes touring a lot better.
— Chris Tremlett (@ChrisTremlett33) November 4, 2013
And what kind of programmes does he miss?
Full postLesser-known recent cricket stats
Inspired by the stat-tastic India and Australia ODI series, we unearth some less well-known cricketing records
Alan Tyers
04-Nov-2013
356,355 Total number of hours of Championship Manager played by England touring team abroad
1 Number of horizon-broadening cultural experiences had by team in foreign countries (trip to Nandos in Perth)
20,736 Record number of bottles of wine drunk by former England all-round great during a Test series
Full postThe Ashes aren't what they used to be
It's all different and watered down: from the trash-talking to the warm-ups and the terminology
Alex Bowden
31-Oct-2013
I remember the days when Australians were real Australians and a tour Down Under was something to be endured. Nowadays England players call it "an opportunity" and profess excitement about what awaits them, while their Aussie counterparts sit around comparing notes about coffee. It's just not the same.
English tourists used to be greeted with robust trash-talking, which intimidated partly because it was so terse. England players would be assessed and found wanting within a single sentence because they simply didn't warrant any more words than that. Test cricket is an astonishingly complex game that usually gives rise to lengthy debate, but the open-and-shut case against any England player meant they could often be disregarded with a single adjective.
What do we get now? We get stuff like this from Ricky Ponting: "I think the England team might be slightly past their absolute peak."
Full postICC to ban zippers, bowlers
Foolproof methods to combat menace of ball-tampering devised
R Rajkumar
29-Oct-2013
The ICC has revealed that it had instructed all member boards to remove zippers from their cricketers' kits well before the latest ball-tampering controversy. The boards have apparently been given until 2015 to do the needful, by which time it has been estimated that the ICC's lone official tailor, a lovable old gent known only as Mr Fingers, would have made his doddering way around the world and personally removed the offending zippers, stitch by stitch. But things don't end there; rumour has it that a panel of experts has been commissioned to put together a series of suggestions to further limit the ways bowlers can influence the ball. Their recommendations so far:
* Doing away with trousers entirely, following observations that increasing numbers of bowlers have been rubbing the ball against these items of clothing, thereby altering its condition to suit their needs.
* Banning bowlers from sweating, generating saliva, and otherwise secreting any kind of bodily fluid that can then be smeared disgustingly upon the ball in the hopes of influencing its behaviour or totally grossing out batsmen.
Full postAre we doing enough to honour Tendulkar? Alas, no
We must immortalise him in ways that ensure he remains etched in the minds of all those who never got to see him play
Sidin Vadukut
28-Oct-2013
As a 34-year-old man speedily approaching the inevitable twilight of my frolicsome youth, many things scare me.
Will I develop male pattern baldness? Or will my head of hair remain luxurious and fabulous along with my toned calves? Will our savings last me and the missus through our forties and fifties and into our retirement? No? What if my wife mysteriously disappears after getting her bonus next year? Very good. Will nuclear war ever break out between Iran and the US? Will Murakami finally win the Nobel?
But most of all, especially as a cricket fan, I dread having to explain the greatest player to have ever played this game to the children of tomorrow.
Full postEngland boot camp: details leaked
The team's pre-Ashes training camp has been kept under wraps - but this leaked memo reveals (or, rather, invents) all
Alan Tyers
25-Oct-2013
From: Team England Conditioning, Fitness and Mental Strengthness Dept
Overall, a good weekend. The guys did particularly good work on their bladder skills, and there's every reason to suppose that the "put your hand up if you need to leave the room" policy will pay off this winter. We believe treating this group like adults is the way to go.
On the same skill set, Monty has really been working hard on urinating in good areas and we see no reason why he cannot now be allowed out past the hours of daylight.
Full post'Dear stomach, you're bored, not hungry - so shut up'
Conversations with organs, and mind-reading with Kraigg Brathwaite, in this fortnight's Twitter round-up
Alex Bowden
24-Oct-2013
Twitter: it allows cricketers to speak to their fans directly. This is bad news for the fans, really.
The questions
A lot of cricketers like to invite their followers to ask them questions. Obviously they get to pick which questions to answer, so you don't get any of the fence-sitting that characterises more formal interviews.
A lot of cricketers like to invite their followers to ask them questions. Obviously they get to pick which questions to answer, so you don't get any of the fence-sitting that characterises more formal interviews.
For example, here's an insight into how AB de Villiers rates the top teams.
Full postWhy Pakistan feel at home in the UAE
Familiar food, partisan crowds, docile pitches - it's as if they are on their own turf
R Rajkumar
21-Oct-2013
Much is made of Pakistan having to play their home games in the UAE, but as the recent success against South Africa goes to show, the team is far from handicapped by playing in these supposedly neutral venues. In fact, the players enjoy every advantage they would have had they been playing in Pakistan proper, and more besides. Let's take a look at a few:
Painting the town red
Not for Pakistan the hotel-bound tedium of a set daily routine that is the fate of many an away team. No, these dynamic young men like to take advantage of being on their home turf as only locals can. As such, the Pakistan team can often be seen, as they have for years in these parts, shuffling aimlessly from mall to mall in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, doing things the South African players languishing back at their hotels (or in the hottest nightclub in town) can only dream of, such as checking out miniature replicas of the Burj-al-Arab at that one stall there outside the Abercrombie & Fitch on the fifth floor. "So good to be home," said Misbah-ul-Haq in a small voice.
Not for Pakistan the hotel-bound tedium of a set daily routine that is the fate of many an away team. No, these dynamic young men like to take advantage of being on their home turf as only locals can. As such, the Pakistan team can often be seen, as they have for years in these parts, shuffling aimlessly from mall to mall in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, doing things the South African players languishing back at their hotels (or in the hottest nightclub in town) can only dream of, such as checking out miniature replicas of the Burj-al-Arab at that one stall there outside the Abercrombie & Fitch on the fifth floor. "So good to be home," said Misbah-ul-Haq in a small voice.
Food
While these days the five-star hotels cricketers stay in can do a reasonable enough job of approximating a particular type of cuisine as required by away teams, nothing beats going down to one's favourite local haunt to eat the food you grew up eating. Just ask Saeed Ajmal.
Full postWhile these days the five-star hotels cricketers stay in can do a reasonable enough job of approximating a particular type of cuisine as required by away teams, nothing beats going down to one's favourite local haunt to eat the food you grew up eating. Just ask Saeed Ajmal.
Cricket: run by bankers
Why the game could use more experts from the world of high finance
Alan Tyers
18-Oct-2013
English cricket is jolly pleased with itself that it has appointed Paul Downton, the former England wicketkeeper turned banker. Here's how Mr Downton can turn his experience in the City to cricket.
1) Like banking in the UK, cricket knows that it has to attract the top talent from around the globe, no matter what the cost. Expect generous incentives for foreign cricketers to come and play here, although their player registrations will, of course, be held in the Seychelles.
2) Cricket has far too many arcane rules. Under the Downton regime, expect cricket to be deregulated to let cricketers do whatever they want, unimpeded by laws.
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