The Heavy Ball
India hogs the spot-fixing action
One country has made a certain aspect of the game its fiefdom
Anand Ramachandran
14-Sep-2010
The ECB and Cricket Australia, in a joint statement, have accused the BCCI of using its financial clout to monopolise the global match-fixing and spot-fixing industries, depriving the cricket fraternities of England and Australia of their share of the action.
The rather bewildering statement, signed by the heads of both boards, reads: "India has always used money power to bully the cricketing nations into favouring the subcontinental power bloc. Now they're using this influence to ensure that the majority of match-fixing happens purely in India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, depriving honest fixers in the rest of the world the opportunities they deserve. We cannot sit idly by and watch India take over the match-fixing calendar, using brute financial muscle to get things done their way.
"Australia and England have always maintained that the spirit of cricket is more important than money, and we stand strongly by our principles. We will fight to defend the spirit of match-fixing and will not allow money to taint the integrity of this fine business.
Full postIt happened at The Oval
First-hand accounts from players on why the forfeit happened back in 2006
Samantha Pendergrast
08-Sep-2010
The News of the World sting operation inspired us. We wanted to do one too. But it was too hard and needed lots of money. So we stuck to interviews. And we got some exclusive, never-heard-before stuff about the evening of the fourth day of the 2006 Oval Test. Only, there are three versions. Which of them is true?
Inzamam-ul-Haq: Aaah, you see jee, what happened was Shoaib Akhtar landed in our team hotel that morning and demanded to be let into the XI immediately, claiming he had a new delivery - bowled off only seven paces - where he held the ball between his thumb and middle finger. I told him that even if I could let him into the XI in the middle of a Test, his delivery sounded absolutely ridiculous and taken straight from the game of carrom. Thankfully he went away.
We went up to tea irritated with Darrell Hair for penalising us. But our mood was lifted by the mutton samosas laid out for tea along with jelly doughnuts. I shared the food out among all of us while Younis entertained us with impressions of Ian Bell being ripped off by Karachi carpet salesmen. At the end of the meal, we had our daily ritual of telling everyone what we appreciated about them that day. No one had anything nice to say about Kamran so it took a few minutes to pacify him.
Full postCricketers and other animals
A wildlife conservation initiative, unusual jubilee celebrations, and the bright side to spot-fixing
Anand Ramachandran
03-Sep-2010
With all the sordid goings-on in the always delightful world of cricket in the past few days, it's easy to get caught up in the brouhaha and lose sight on some crucial cricketing events. Such as the fact that J Srinath has adopted a leopard.
Apparently, the former India speedster and current match referee has chosen the animal due to its "speed and mercurial action", which reminded him of himself. Srinath chose to adopt the leopard also because "while it may not be the fastest, it is extremely accurate when it comes to claiming victims".
Srinath also said that he hopes to rope in several other India players as a part of this wildlife conservation initiative. And response has been extremely encouraging. Yuvraj Singh has come forward to adopt a Rock Python, since it just sits there, looking sullen and doing nothing, and only moves when it wants to eat something really large. Virat Kohli will be adopting a gorilla, since it makes great efforts to appear much more threatening and dangerous than it actually is. Ashish Nehra has decided to adopt an orangutan, because almost 50% of orangutans have broken bones.
Full postKP goes to The Oval
And lets his tongue get ahead of his brain
Alex Bowden
02-Sep-2010
Ah, Surrey. A new county; a new opportunity. New team-mates, new challenges and a friendly club where I can make myself a new home. Hey, there's Chris Tremlett. I'll go and say hello.
"I am so much better than this club. I really shouldn't have to be here."
Damn, I thought the things I should have been saying and said the things I should have been keeping to myself. Must try and make up for that quickly. Must build relationships.
Full postWelcome to fandom hell
Aka the world of the Pakistan supporter, where embarrassment, depression and denial thrive, and the truth lies in a corner, dead on arrival
Imran Yusuf
01-Sep-2010
Things simply cannot get any worse for a Pakistan cricket fan - except maybe if mum and dad called to say, "Child, it's time for the truth. You were adopted. Your biological father is actually a man from Punjab called Ijaz Butt. We believe he was a cricketer many moons ago. Though not very good. But he's on TV a lot!"
That apart, each of us has reached the nadir. For the past few years we have stared into the abyss of cricketing faith. The stare has intensified with every new scandal and crushing disappointment. Now it's beyond a stare. The abyss finally said "What're ya lookin at?" and we said "Nuffin" and it said "What'id you say?" and we said, "You 'erd me, I said I'm lookin' at nuffin!" and now we're locked in a full-on body brawl. For the record, the abyss isn't half as tough as it looks.
But it's still a horrible place to be, down here in fandom hell. Every Pakistan supporter is screening reruns in their heads, wondering if that "reckless" shot was actually perfectly executed, if the "indiscipline" of the bowlers was in actual fact part of a perfect plan. Every one of us is replaying those countless times we woke up at 4am to catch the first session on the other side of the world, with a spouse or a pet or just our better self grumbling their bafflement, wondering if it was all a waste: the time, the energy, the belief, the 300 quid invested in the espresso machine. Are we all fools? Was it all fake? Have we been locked in a Matrix? The bright colours of the Neo Sports channel all of a sudden take on a sinister complexion.
Full postHarbhajan announces Ntini's retirement
Indian offspinner claims mantle of leading current wicket-taker in Tests easily
Anand Ramachandran
25-Aug-2010
Harbhajan Singh, in a shock statement made to the press yesterday, has announced that South African pace bowler Makhaya Ntini will be retiring from Test cricket with immediate effect.
Reading from what appeared to be a hastily handwritten note, Harbhajan said, "It is with a heavy heart that I announce Makhaya Ntini's decision to retire immediately from Test cricket, making me the world's leading wicket-taker in Tests among active players."
"Sometimes, a player must realise that his career is at a dead end. There's very little chance that Makhaya will be picked anymore in the South African Test side, and he has decided to focus his energies on playing ODIs and Twenty20, formats in which I am not even close to being the leading wicket-taker," said Harbhajan, looking shiftily around before hurriedly tearing up the note and stuffing it into his pocket.
Full postGet fat, get an IPL contract
A visit to Darren Lehmann's fitness academy will explain how
Daniel Norcross
20-Aug-2010
Finally the Twenty20 domestic season is over in England, with Hampshire triumphant. However, but for a stunning catch by Kieron Pollard in the second semi-final, it could have been forgotten England star Samit Patel leading Nottinghamshire to victory. Patel spent some time at Darren Lehmann's academy prior to the start of the season hoping to impress the selectors with his commitment to fitness. So I pitched up at Lehmann's academy to find out what all the fuss was about. The following is a covertly recorded transcript of our meeting.
Darren Lehman: Dan? Thanks for coming. Great to meet you. Anyone given you a beer yet? [burps] Look, let me take you around so you can see for yourself what we're up to. First off there's the bar, which you've seen. Very important part of the holistic approach we have at the Academy. And it's where you learn the first of my mantras for Optimal Conditioning Performance. The beer stays here [pats stomach]. It's bloody obvious but bloody true. I've had some kids come in here, great hands, great footwork, can bowl wrong'uns out of their rear end, but they simply can't hold their beer - chucking up sometimes close to 2000 calories. And that's where all the hard work they do can literally end up down the dunny. In here we work tirelessly on getting the basics right. Eliminate the gag reflex.
DN: And this must be the weight room?
Full postPakistan launch academy for veterans
Plus, the advent of the five-day international, and the ICC's off season
Anand Ramachandran
17-Aug-2010
The Pakistan Cricket Board has announced a new initiative to develop cricket at the grassroots level in Pakistan - an academy to groom retired veterans in order to prepare them for the rigours of international cricket.
"There are plenty of such academies all over the world to help young, emerging cricketers. But we are the first board to do something for the veterans, who we truly believe are the future of Pakistan cricket," said PCB chairman Ijaz Butt. "We need a good supply line of semi-retired and retired players to take over from youngsters like Salman Butt, Mohammad Aamer and Umar Akmal when they get dropped from the team for bad performances, bad attitude or bad luck. The academy will ensure that our pool of veteran talent never dries up," he added, absently fiddling with a tube of Brylcreem he had borrowed from Pakistan president Asif Ali Zardari.
"In Pakistan we have a unique culture of blooding vastly experienced cricketers into the team as soon as we feel they're ready for it - and we can't just throw them into the deep end without preparation. The new academy will provide an opportunity for these former greats - we call them 'emerged' players - to make the leap to the international level." said Butt.
Full postAn action plan for Pakistan
They've lost two Tests in a row. What can they do to turn things around?
Imran Yusuf
12-Aug-2010
Pakistan's batting in the first Test was called a laughing stock by the great and the good (and also by Aamer Sohail, who surely falls in a category outside these margins). Following this logic, the second Test was another rip-roaring, rib-tickling, thigh-slapping gag fest. The brilliant Rahul Bhattacharya recently wrote that Pakistan's collapses are great comedy. I used to admire Mr Bhattacharya but I now find myself organising an effigy-burning in Karachi based on enlarged printouts of his Cricinfo author picture. This will, of course, solve everything.
Bitterness aside, I can see how my team's collapses are funny in a black humour sort of way. It's just a fact of human nature that we often find mirth in pitiful situations. Examples of this include the early rounds of American Idol, drunken public fistfights, and the existence of Lalit Modi. (Imagine if one could combine all three on a TV show. Somebody call Simon Cowell.)
However, if one exercises some mercy and humanity, the laughter surely croaks to a halt. Pakistan's batting has actually been rather sad and soul-destroying. Just look at young Azhar Ali, Pakistan's current Sacrifical Lamb (a position in the batting order otherwise known as No. 3 to all other cricketing nations). The innocent Azhar tries hard, but his demeanour at the crease is as vulnerable as that of one of the goats on Bakra Eid: without an itch of a hunch that his slaughter is imminent, but vaguely aware somewhere deep inside that a strange fate might just be creeping up on him.
Full postWhat the UDRS teaches us about human nature
Acute observers of the first England-Pakistan Test will have gleaned many insights from the use and abuse of the review system
Daniel Norcross
06-Aug-2010
A new series has begun between England and Pakistan and the Umpire Decision Review System has been reincarnated in its umpteenth guise. Like Burton and Taylor, the ICC and the UDRS have an explosive chemical relationship that just won't go away.
The cricket literati grumble about inconsistencies here and umpires being undermined there, but for me the UDRS provides the viewer with thrilling insights into the tortured minds of our cricketing heroes. A final layer of complexity; a game within a game.
To fully appreciate the UDRS the viewer must put aside juvenile yearnings for consistency and fairness and instead focus on the delicious interplay between the dismissed batsman and his non-striking partner on the one hand, and the frenzied bowler and his embarrassed captain on the other. While, of course, we cannot be sure of exactly what is being said, the body language is usually very clear.
Full post