The Long Handle

The allrounder has been brainwashed into the England team way of life

Who cares what bowlers put on balls as long as they don't eat 'em

Why would England's cricket administrators consider fraternising with this puny number?

Saturday, 24th September Those of us who are hauling around a little more personal freight than we’d like are always on the lookout for inventive ways to lessen the burden on our belt buckles, so the news that a man called Mike had recently lost

What will your answer be if your child asks you this question?

Where else would you learn of a team called Ruhuna?

And hello to the reign of the comedy captain

Arithmetic: jumping up and biting cricketers on the bottom for nearly 20 years now

Andrew Hughes welcomes all suggestions, though he has the best one himself

Isn’t a field where an ass belongs, after all?

DRS isn't doing it anymore

For instance, some of them are big wraps for others

Is it the one that might or the one that won't?

The new benchmark is 100,000%

Aren't there better ways to frighten a batsman than pretend to throw a ball at him that he knows you know that he knows you're not going to throw?

The man who is Fred Trueman in Mark Ealham’s body

Ruthlessness that can be packaged into a Hollywood summer blockbuster

They really do – a proper paddock, with straw, oats and all the rest of it

England wouldn't dream of doing that

Also featuring: the multifarious talents of Dhoni, and Zimbabwe’s surprise options