'Impossible to have a pee on the train without falling'

It's the Ashes. English and Australian cricketers are thinking of nothing else.

The Aussies
David Hussey's got important things on his mind.

Bad odour and gym sessions are not ideal! Please shower or 'shower in a can' prior to beginning. #gymetiquette #tang #smelly

— David Hussey (@DavidHussey29) November 12, 2013

As has Mitch Marsh.

The Seekers are in my top 5 bands of all time.

— Mitch Marsh (@mitchmarsh235) November 17, 2013

While Shane Warne is having his say on all the major talking points.

The movie "Taken" is just the adult version of Finding Nemo !!!!

— Shane Warne (@warne888) November 17, 2013

The Poms
Several of the England players have been preparing at the cinema, where they appear to have had a harrowing experience.

Great experience in gold class at the cinema tonight although average film. Salty popcorn has also left me with a very dry mouth.

— Chris Tremlett (@ChrisTremlett33) November 8, 2013

It seems that their infamous catering demands are leaving them a little bit precious about what they eat.

There was unanimity about the film, though.

Anyone thinking about going to watch 'The Counsellor'...DONT!!!

— Matt Prior (@MattPrior13) November 8, 2013

"@MattPrior13: Anyone thinking about going to watch 'The Counsellor'...DONT!!!" DO NOT!! I repeat, DO NOT!!!

— Kevin Pietersen (@KP24) November 8, 2013

Meanwhile, other squad members have been making their own entertainment.

Just put my phone in a new waterproof case. Backing it to work. I'm tweeting in the shower. #boringtweet

— Tim Bresnan (@timbresnan) November 17, 2013

Or resorting to more conventional forms of relaxation.

I assume trotty is playing FIFA next door. He's been screaming "ref, you're a ******* disgrace" repeatedly for ten minutes...

— Graeme Swann (@Swannyg66) November 19, 2013

The issue
Kent's Ben Harmison has a serious point he wishes to raise.

It's impossible to hav a pee on the train without fallin forward n hittin ur head off the wall !

— ben harmison (@harmy14) November 14, 2013

The social-media monster
Andrew Flintoff's been experimenting with Facebook. What was the motivation and how has it gone?

Had a few minutes to kill while on the bog so I've joined Facebook Andrew Flintoff is the name ! Heard there's a few out there

— fred flintoff (@flintoff11) November 19, 2013

Might be the shortest lived Facebook ever it's even weirder than this !

— fred flintoff (@flintoff11) November 19, 2013

Deactivated my Facebook !

— fred flintoff (@flintoff11) November 19, 2013

Kemar Roach's modesty corner
It's catching.

Need New Haters Because The Old Ones Are Starting To Like Me!

— Kemar Roach (@KemarAJR) November 8, 2013

Life with Kemar Roach
Struggling with your level of income? Kemar Roach has sage words for you.

Stay In Your Financial Lane! Can't Have Milk Money And Want To Buy Champagne!

— Kemar Roach (@KemarAJR) November 12, 2013

Amend your shopping list accordingly.

What's your philosophy?
Tasmania's Ben Laughlin isn't averse to a bit of management speak.

If everyone buys into the product it's amazing what can be achieved

— Ben Laughlin. (@splitter55) November 19, 2013

Nando's Watch
Sussex's Chris Nash and Leicestershire's Josh Cobb are making the most of their stay in Bangladesh while playing for Prime Doleshwar Sporting Club.

Thought we would mix it up a bit and go for nandos in dhaka tonight! @cobby24 @daws128 #varietyisthespiceoflife

— Chrisnash (@chrisnash23) November 7, 2013

And to follow up the good news on magsy re-signing..... Another nandos for the lads today! @daws128 @ravibopara @NandosUK

— Chrisnash (@chrisnash23) November 8, 2013

Saturday night, Beverly Hills cop and a nandos. As good as it gets out here. @cobby24

— Chrisnash (@chrisnash23) November 9, 2013

@cobby24 lovely nandos chocolate brownie to celebrate our double header this weekend! #lovefielding

— Chrisnash (@chrisnash23) November 14, 2013

A lovely 12 hours sleep completed... What to do with my day off?!? #coffeeshop #nandos

— Josh cobb (@cobby24) November 15, 2013

Jet-lag Watch - part five
Somewhere in the world, there is always a cricketer complaining about jet lag or saying something along those lines.

I'm totally cool with a 7am flight, but the 5am wake up - not so much! Morning Melbourne x

— Kevin Pietersen (@KP24) November 9, 2013

The goodbye

I'm not sure if you heard but Sachin Tendulkar retired today! What a great little player and lovely bloke #ThankYouSachin

— Graeme Swann (@Swannyg66) November 16, 2013