'1 min to live. Get to tv sets'

The countdown
Lalit Modi was counting down to the Olympic opening ceremony.

One minute to live? That wouldn't have been a particularly upbeat way to start the Games.

The likely story
Pat Cummins may have had tongue in cheek here.

It's the ellipsis that arouses suspicion. Expert use of punctuation, Pat.

The reminiscence
It seems likely that Lancashire's Gary Keedy was being equally disingenuous while watching the opening ceremony.

Not sure about the exclamation mark. No need to labour the point, Gary.

The athletes' parade
AB de Villiers wasn't going to bed until he'd seen South Africa's athletes during the Olympic opening ceremony.

You won't get much sympathy from the Zimbabweans, AB.

The great minds
What's going on here?

First Glenn McGrath:

And then Shane Warne:

Compare and contrast.

The hardy competitors
Michael Vaughan was shocked by the Olympic archery, which took place at Lord's.

But apparently the archers do get something right.

The list
Jason Gillespie lets his feelings be known.

Not sure anyone rates beetroot all that highly, but we take your point.

Tino Best's modesty corner
"Jealously is for the Weak #keepitreal"
@tinobest

Not jealous of his spelling.

What's your philosophy?
Alviro Petersen has some wise words.

What if there's a truck before you, Alviro? What if there's a truck before you and it's travelling at 60mph? Is that a tiny matter?

Or what if there's a malevolent ninja behind you brandishing a katana with a frighteningly sharp blade? Should you just ignore him? Are you trying to say that neither of these things is as important as a half-digested sandwich? I'll be honest, Alviro. I've got to question the wisdom of this advice.

The alternative restaurant selection
South Africa's David Miller clearly doesn't know cricket's rules of dining.

Call yourself a cricketer? It's supposed to be Nando's, David.

At least he was smashing it - he got that bit right.

The alternative alternative restaurant selection
Jason Gillespie made an even more controversial selection.

A carvery. And he didn't even smash it. Disgraceful.

The alternative alternative alternative restaurant selection
Jade Dernbach reports strange goings-on at Surrey as well. This is really getting out of hand.

Cricketers considering Nando's but going for pizza instead? The world is changing. I fear I no longer recognise it.

Nando's Watch
Wait. Yorkshire's Andrew Gale has something to say.

Faith restored.