'The asparagus I had has made my pee stink'

The skinflint
Is Shane Warne short a bob or two?

Those ice-cream vans, eh? It's just a licence to print money. It's great news that poverty-stricken Shane Warne is standing up for us all and arguing for a fair price for frozen dairy products.

The inspiration
Murali Kartik welcomes a role model to Twitter.

What were the other reasons for becoming a left-arm spinner? Being left-handed probably played a large part, I guess.

The Nine9 match
After rain affected the England v South Africa Twenty20 at Old Trafford, Steven Finn admitted to being quite taken with the shorter formats.

The batsmen in Brian Lara Cricket never did get to grips with the slower ball bouncer.

The lonely man
Will someone go round to Sulieman Benn's house and keep him company? He's started talking to himself.

He didn't answer. We'll never know how it went last weekend and maybe he'll never know how it went last weekend either.

The wordplay
Iain O'Brien's angling for a job as a sub-editor.

Good work. Time to trade bat and ball for a pen. A "pen" is a female swan, by the way. Yeah, I know - O'Brien's was better…

The urine test
Matthew Hoggard felt moved to share some information with us.

Thanks, Matt, always a pleasure hearing about your life. Tell us more about what you've been eating and the impact it has had on urinary odour.

The threat to fruit
Tino Best is unimpressed by Andrew Flintoff taking up boxing.

The punctuation
It seems like Scott Styris is insinuating something with these inverted commas.

It's like when the boss is "working from home".

Tino Best's modesty corner
Tino has some unlikely advice.

And he continues.

Nobody serve him any humble pie. He's nowhere near as funny when he shows humility.

Nando's Watch
Albie Morkel's omitting crucial details.

Where?

Phil Jaques puts us straight.