M Johnson: World leaders in a long line of top-class dissenters (22 Jun 1998)

22 June 1998

World leaders in a long line of top-class dissenters

By Martin Johnson

SUPPORTING England is not an exercise which involves vast amounts of expectation, which probably explains the outbreak of mass delirium when a toe-ended poke for two by Angus Fraser obliged South Africa to bat for a second time. The second biggest cheer of the day was reserved for the electronic scoreboard beaming out "Germany 0, Yugoslavia 2", although in the unlikely event of England ever threatening a shock result themselves it is hard to see them flashing up the latest Test score at Borussia Dortmund versus Bayern Munich.

With the International Cricket Council currently considering the practical possibilities for a world championship of Test cricket, England will have to pray that no provision is made for promotion and relegation. Lord's was full yesterday, but whether it will remain so for, say, England versus Papua New Guinea in 2030, must be a teeny bit doubtful.

But England may yet aspire to lead the world in one of the game's relatively unsung, yet highly-skilled areas. Coopers and Lybrand operate a world ranking system for batsmen and bowlers, which scarcely anyone pays any attention to, but if they really want to raise their profile, how about the 'world dissent ratings'?

England have led the world in this vital (in)discipline for many years, and it is high time they received due recognition. Mark Ramprakash moved smartly up the rankings yesterday with his suspended suspension, but one or two of his team-mates would have felt harshly ignored by the match referee, not least the captain, Alec Stewart.

There are any number of explanations for Stewart's reaction to his caught behind decision, the most obvious being the yoke of the captaincy itself. It's enough to give anyone a nervous tic, as you could see from the way his head kept moving from side to side for most of his journey back to the pavilion. There was also evidence of a backwards twitch, and it can only be a matter of time before the physio is required to deal with his first case of video screen replay neck.

Alec has always been one of the those players keen to assist the umpire in the difficult business of decision making, often by rubbing some remote part of his anatomy when the bowling side appeals for a catch. However, as you can already see Fred Trueman biting through his pipe stem at the very suggestion that dissent might be better now than in his day, it has to be said that England are not in the same league as they were in the Mike Gatting era.

Then, Chris Broad set Test match records for a) failing to leave the field, b) stump demolition and c) lip-reading, the combination of an irate Graham Dilley and an extra sensitive stump microphone offended several hundred maiden aunts on New Zealand TV, and the manager, Peter Lush, solemnly declared that it was all down to how hard the boys were trying. In Dilley's case, Lush's estimate was "300 per cent". Hard acts to follow, but the signs are encouraging.

Source :: Electronic Telegraph (https://www.telegraph.co.uk)