The Official TAFHCA Select 2005 Bad Hair XI: Out now

The New Year’s on the horizon now. I can see 2005 beckoning ta-ta and 2006 saying hello. I’ll do a series of year-end reviews, mostly trivial ones, between now and new year’s eve. Today, I present you the official TAFHCA (The Anti Foolish Hair Cut Association) select Bad Hair XI for the year 2005, a collection of the worse haired cricketers to have played cricket in the past 12 months.

Opening the innings with his repellent dreadlocks is the Jamaican lefthander, Christopher Gayle. Opening with him, in over grown natural curls, will be the Kiwi youngster James Marshall, who made his test debut earlier in April against Australia.

At 3 will be his twin brother Hamish, who took devotion to retro to new heights with his 'If this doesn't scare you, I don't know what will' look sported in the historic circus act of the first ever 20 Twenty International between trans Tasman rivals Australia and New Zealand.

At four will be the skipper Younis Khan and his disturbing bangs, and his vice captain KP Skunk will be accommodated at 5. Shahid Afridi will take the all rounder's spot at 6 whilst M. S. Dhoni and his atrocious red highlights will win the battle for the wicket keeper's slot despite the best attempts of Sangakkara.

With the batting order selected without many problems, TAFHCA had a real selection nightmare when it came to picking its bowlers. Such was the abundance of bad-haired fast bowlers that we decided Afridi and Gayle's spin could alone cater for the slow bowling department, allowing us to select a four pronged seam attack. Otherwise Bangladesh's Mohammad Rafique would have been a shoe in.

Dizzy Gillespie’s very dodgy mullet and stone wall batting got him the nod at 8 and fellow night-watchman Mathew Hoggard will be his new ball partner at 9. Nathan Bracken would be the third and finally Aussie to make it into 2005's Bad Hair XI at 10, and after a close battle with Sami and Liam Plunkett for the number XI spot, Jimmy Anderson got the nod eventually on having greater 'shock' value.

Andy Symonds, who missed out because two dreadlocks in the same side would have resulted in considerable chaos, would accompany the touring party as 12th man while David Boon will perform the duties of coach.

Even though watching these players in action is quite a task (TAFHCA advises viewer discretion when seeing them at all times), we have, nevertheless agreed to play an imaginary one off test and 20 Twenty International against a TAFHCA selected 2005 Good Hair XI (which is to be revealed soon) on an imaginary man-made island south of Madagascar on the agreement that all players from the touring side will not take off their hats, helmets, caps or other head gears without the necessary security arrangements being in place.

There is little chance though despite that, that the touring side will agree to visit the TAFHCA commissioned hair salon on the island. All proceedings from the tour will go to the 'Take-me-to-the-TAFHCA-hero-King-of-Spain-and-take-me-there-fast' Appeal.

1. Chris Gayle 2. James Marshall 3. Hamish Marshall 4. Younis Khan* 5. Kevin Pietersen 6. Shahid Afridi 7. M. S. Dhoni + 8. Jason Gillespie 9. Mathew Hoggard 10. Nathan Bracken 11. James Anderson 12th man: Andy Symonds Coach cum manager: David Boon