February 12, 2010

Kallis as anaesthetic, Steyn as scalpel

South Africa rise from the dead, thanks to a spook
39


Steyn: unreasonably athletic for a ghost © AFP
 

There was little in the scorecard from the first Test in Nagpur to suggest that this was a titanic shootout between the universe’s two highest-ranked nations. South Africa followed up their ceremonial spanking of England in the final Test in Johannesburg by ritually clouting an injury-hit-but-still-woeful India, one of the more impressive back-to-back doubles of recent years. As best-of-the-best showdowns go, this was roughly the equivalent of Joe Frazier and Muhammad Ali squaring up in the ring in Manila, the bell ringing for the start of Round 1, Ali tripping over his shoelaces and Frazier knocking him out with a frying pan to the back of the head.

To be fair to India, they did dominate the match for the first 39 balls. For the remaining 2063, however, they were surgically dismantled, as Graeme Smith’s team donned their hospital scrubs, used Jacques Kallis and Hashim Amla as an anaesthetic, then Dale Steyn as a scalpel, and performed a full cricketectomy on the home team.

In their past six Tests, South Africa have now beaten Australia, England and India by an innings, without yet winning any of those series. A one-run Indian victory in Kolkata would be the perfect conclusion to that run of results.

The South Africans are back to their dominant form of 2008. They evidently had a powerful allergic reaction to the year 2009 – six Tests, one meaningless win (in the dead third game against Australia), four heavy losses and a draw-that-should-have-been-a-win. Even the best teams and players experience fluctuations in form – after all, Henry VIII did not behead all of his wives, but is still regarded by historians as one of the greatest wife-beheaders of all time – but South Africa had just triumphed in Australia and won 18 and lost just four of their previous 25 Tests, so last year was clearly a major blip.

Quite why 2009 prompted such a slump is not clear – perhaps it was the distraction of it being designated International Year Of Natural Fibres by the UN General Assembly; or maybe the Icelandic financial collapse last January sparked concerns about the well-being of the global economy that, as concerned citizens of the world, Smith and his men could not help but carry onto the field with them (and if ever a dismissal screamed a frantic worry that current levels of national debt are irresponsibly unsustainable, it was Kallis playing no stroke to a straight one from Stuart Broad in Durban); it is even possible that the team was so devastated by the sad passing of American jazz trumpeter Freddie Hubbard late in December 2008 that they played the entirety of 2009 under a pall of gloom about the unavoidability of death, haunted by thoughts of their own mortality.

The instrument of devastation in these last two triumphs has been Steyn, currently the world’s best bowler by an almost embarrassing margin. He has taken 17 for 223 in those two victories, striking every 22 balls on pitches on which his team’s batsmen have lost their wickets once every 22 overs, whilst racking up 981 for 13. In Nagpur, he became the first pace bowler to take 10 wickets in a Test in India since Javagal Srinath in 1998-99, and the first visiting paceman to do so since Richard Hadlee 10 years before that. If India is a fast bowlers’ graveyard, then Steyn is a disturbingly spooky ghost.

In an era generally devoid of great pace bowling, Steyn stands in splendid statistical solitude (and I have to hand the numbers to prove it, but, to paraphrase the words of Diana Ross and The Supremes, “You can’t hurry Dale Steyn statistics, you’ll just have to wait [until the weekend].”)

From an English perspective, we can only praise and thank him for having the decency to be injured at the start of the recent series. After everything England has given to the world – Shakespeare, for example, and cricket – how broad-minded it was of the Phalaborwa Phirecracker to allow England an honourable draw.

India can take little of use from the match, other than fine but ultimately worthless hundreds by two of their three remaining uninjured first-choice top six. Tendulkar’s second-innings effort was further evidence that his breakthrough maiden Test century at Old Trafford in 1990 was not a flash in the pan. With 45 further three-figure scores in his Test log-book since then, that argument is close to being put to bed.

Sehwag’s first-innings century was his slowest since March 2005. Perhaps weighed down by the responsibility of recuperating his team from 56 for 3, the Delhi Demolisher dawdled to 100 off a Boycottian, Kirstenic, Shastricious, Mujtabaesque, positively Tavarescent 134 balls.

This unfathomably tedious hundred, in which Sehwag blasted just 15 fours (only one measly boundary per nine balls faced), could not have happened at a worse time. In my podcast last week, I idly speculated that this series would prove once and for all who is the more entertaining batsman – Sehwag or Ashwell Prince.

In the feedback comments, most, if not all, seemed to side with the former, duped perhaps by his slightly superior Test career strike-rate of 80 compared with Prince’s 44, or the fact that he had hit 76 sixes and 906 fours compared to Prince’s 11 and 352 (ignoring the fact that Sehwag had faced around 800 more balls in his career than Prince, so the South African had plenty of time to make up his 619-boundary deficit), or the allegation that Sehwag has clattered three of the four fastest recorded double-centuries in Test history.

What poor timing, then, for the Indian Incinerator to boringly reach three figures without hitting even a single six. This was the first time he has reached his century without clearing the ropes since his 254 at Lahore in January 2006, although on that occasion he did compensate by having thwacked 20 fours in the 93 balls it took him to post his hundred. Prince, on the other hand, was out for 0. Straight in, straight out, no messing about. The debate remains very much alive.

(Regarding other feedback comments, I will post the next installment in my Highlights Of The Last Decade soon. Next week probably. Potentially as part of the next World Cricket podcast, or by the end of this decade. I promise. I’ve chosen them. I just haven’t finished writing them up).

Meanwhile, there are rumours that Australia and West Indies are in the throes of an international one-day series. My sources in Australia claim not to know anything about it, none of my cricket-following friends believes that it is happening, and there have been counter-rumours that the scorecards posted on sites such as Cricinfo are frauds.

Even Australian allrounder Shane Watson has expressed his doubts that the series is actually happening, despite having supposedly scored two half-centuries and picked up a couple of wickets in the alleged series so far.

“Aah, look,” said Watson yesterday, “a mate of mine sent me a text congratulating me on picking up the Man-of-the-Match award in Game 1. But I have absolutely no recollection of playing an international cricket match on February 7 as he claimed that I had. I did have a dream in which I felt that I was doing something totally pointless, but that’s as far as it went.”

Andy Zaltzman is a stand-up comedian, a regular on the BBC Radio 4, and a writer

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • NS on February 19, 2010, 21:23 GMT

    Grissom, keep writing... Please accept the fact that 'this' Indian team has lot of pride and have the skills to back that. SA's batting is weak and their bowling is a one man army. morkel has bounce and pace but nothing beyond that. that is not going to trouble most of the good batsmen and steyn cannot bowl both ends...

  • Abhinav on February 18, 2010, 21:13 GMT

    Hindsight is always 20-20, but reading the comments here after seeing the results of the 2nd test really made me smirk specially this one- Posted by: Grissom 6 days, 8 hours ago

    India were totally outplayed except for the first 6 overs and even then they needed an umpire to help out. Even if their injured players return SA will still triumph as we are too strong an opponent for India. India got to number 1 by having other series go their way and actully had to do very little to get there. SA will take the series 2 - 0 unless India prepare a minefield pitch and win the toss and bat first and hope for an incredible amount of luck. And then there will be comments about injured players, selection issues etc. Stop crying about it and accept the inevitable. Nothing against this guy, but could not help but smile at the irony Andy - excellent post as usual.

  • manish on February 16, 2010, 12:34 GMT

    Hi Grissom......How are you. Hope you are watching the second test

  • Ska on February 14, 2010, 21:14 GMT

    Delightfully hilarious.

  • E Blackadder on February 14, 2010, 20:28 GMT

    Love the last line.

  • kaushik on February 14, 2010, 11:50 GMT

    awesome article! had me in splits .but one small thing,2009 was the year of astronomy, not year of natural fibres

  • depp on February 14, 2010, 6:23 GMT

    well gr88 humour quoitent mate,well as far as sa team composition is concerned jp should be dropped,peterson should open with smith and dean elgar should be rewarded a place at no6

  • Charles on February 14, 2010, 1:51 GMT

    Congrats SA. Well played. I think India went on the defensive and lost before the game had even started. It would have been better to have played a bowler. Steyn was just incredible. I still feel this Indian team will not go away that easily. There is plenty of fight and pride. This selection was a bit of an aberation. Apart from Saha issue Srikanth and company have done well. I personally feel Irfan should be given a little extra leash. He is definetely a balance to the team. This is going to be a great game. I admit SA have a balanced side but India always have the edge where batting goes. Finally Kallis to me is the man of this generation. What a player! Not only his batting but his bowling as well. Wish India produced a player like him. To me he should have been the player of the decade. Go India, I am sure you can hold your head high and prove this is a one off game where you have the occasional slip. I read a lot of comments about India winning against weak opponents-ck stats!

  • Deepanjan Datta on February 13, 2010, 20:37 GMT

    Pleasure to read this blog - the humor is a perfect mix of subtle and over the top. On a more serious note: SA was better than India by some margin and no shame in losing to the better team :) Just hope that the lessons are learnt. Murali Vijay, Gautam Gambhir and Amit Mishra would be better for the experience.

  • Rafiq on February 13, 2010, 19:56 GMT

    Infact it is the advent of T20 cricket which affected sides like pakistan and india. Temprament of players gone down and I can see further decline of Indian cricket after the retirement of sachin, dravid, laxman which is not far away. India also lacks quality sppiner, an all rounder and genuine fast bowler. With below average fielding I cant see things improving for India IN 2nd test or even in the near future. Sachin is a great player but he cannot ever be the match winner

  • NS on February 19, 2010, 21:23 GMT

    Grissom, keep writing... Please accept the fact that 'this' Indian team has lot of pride and have the skills to back that. SA's batting is weak and their bowling is a one man army. morkel has bounce and pace but nothing beyond that. that is not going to trouble most of the good batsmen and steyn cannot bowl both ends...

  • Abhinav on February 18, 2010, 21:13 GMT

    Hindsight is always 20-20, but reading the comments here after seeing the results of the 2nd test really made me smirk specially this one- Posted by: Grissom 6 days, 8 hours ago

    India were totally outplayed except for the first 6 overs and even then they needed an umpire to help out. Even if their injured players return SA will still triumph as we are too strong an opponent for India. India got to number 1 by having other series go their way and actully had to do very little to get there. SA will take the series 2 - 0 unless India prepare a minefield pitch and win the toss and bat first and hope for an incredible amount of luck. And then there will be comments about injured players, selection issues etc. Stop crying about it and accept the inevitable. Nothing against this guy, but could not help but smile at the irony Andy - excellent post as usual.

  • manish on February 16, 2010, 12:34 GMT

    Hi Grissom......How are you. Hope you are watching the second test

  • Ska on February 14, 2010, 21:14 GMT

    Delightfully hilarious.

  • E Blackadder on February 14, 2010, 20:28 GMT

    Love the last line.

  • kaushik on February 14, 2010, 11:50 GMT

    awesome article! had me in splits .but one small thing,2009 was the year of astronomy, not year of natural fibres

  • depp on February 14, 2010, 6:23 GMT

    well gr88 humour quoitent mate,well as far as sa team composition is concerned jp should be dropped,peterson should open with smith and dean elgar should be rewarded a place at no6

  • Charles on February 14, 2010, 1:51 GMT

    Congrats SA. Well played. I think India went on the defensive and lost before the game had even started. It would have been better to have played a bowler. Steyn was just incredible. I still feel this Indian team will not go away that easily. There is plenty of fight and pride. This selection was a bit of an aberation. Apart from Saha issue Srikanth and company have done well. I personally feel Irfan should be given a little extra leash. He is definetely a balance to the team. This is going to be a great game. I admit SA have a balanced side but India always have the edge where batting goes. Finally Kallis to me is the man of this generation. What a player! Not only his batting but his bowling as well. Wish India produced a player like him. To me he should have been the player of the decade. Go India, I am sure you can hold your head high and prove this is a one off game where you have the occasional slip. I read a lot of comments about India winning against weak opponents-ck stats!

  • Deepanjan Datta on February 13, 2010, 20:37 GMT

    Pleasure to read this blog - the humor is a perfect mix of subtle and over the top. On a more serious note: SA was better than India by some margin and no shame in losing to the better team :) Just hope that the lessons are learnt. Murali Vijay, Gautam Gambhir and Amit Mishra would be better for the experience.

  • Rafiq on February 13, 2010, 19:56 GMT

    Infact it is the advent of T20 cricket which affected sides like pakistan and india. Temprament of players gone down and I can see further decline of Indian cricket after the retirement of sachin, dravid, laxman which is not far away. India also lacks quality sppiner, an all rounder and genuine fast bowler. With below average fielding I cant see things improving for India IN 2nd test or even in the near future. Sachin is a great player but he cannot ever be the match winner

  • Dnyanesh on February 13, 2010, 16:06 GMT

    We, Indians are the most amazingly strict critics of our team. When we lose to England in cold weather we expect them to be professionals, when England loses to us on the dustbowls, they point out that Botham hadnt come in to play. When we beat SA in SA in one match, its a fluke, when SA do that, lets sack someone for that. When we almost defeat the No 1 team Australia in Australia in 2003 we were facing a depleted team, when we are injury-depleted they growl "where is out bench strength"

    When we beat Bangladesh 2-0 we snigger, when WI or Australia in their pomp whitewash us on their home pitches, we growl. Sachin's 46 centuries count for less than Ponting's 39 (although Ponting scored a lot of them against bunny, England and Sachin scored against the top team Australia).

    Sigh...when will we learn? I have a theory that we lose sometimes because as a billion population out negative thoughts lose our men in blues quite a lot of matches.

  • memi on February 13, 2010, 13:54 GMT

    can anyone of you answer my quetion?does the homeside have an option on wht pitch to prepare or to their strength

  • sudhir on February 13, 2010, 13:24 GMT

    To all my south african friends out there plz wake up the dream is over and we still a test to play do get over joyed..........And most importantly your team without 2 factors in first test 1.Dale steyn 2.Toss

  • barneystinson on February 13, 2010, 13:10 GMT

    I understand that India were outplayed in this last test. That's definitely true and there's no point arguing about it. Dale Steyn was phenomenal of course, and Hashim Amla was on form to boot. However, what is not true are all these comment s about India having made it to Number 1 by playing poor teams. We have beaten Australia, England, Sri Lanka home and away, and all of these by having lost just one test match. So even if India were to win by luck this whole time, surely, in that time, they would have lost a couple of test matches. Dhoni has been a fantastic captain and he has used his team to their maximum capability. Yes he's not had an arsenal of world class bowlers, but the bowlers have been good and he's maximised their performance. Last thing. Everyone is talking about the post Laxman, Dravid era. In the last two years, Gautam Gambhir and Sehwag have been in the top three best batsmen in the world. I'm fairly sure that India can cope without the 'greats'.

  • Mike on February 13, 2010, 12:07 GMT

    wunderful article!! hats off Andy!! but if u keep posting such genuinely funny articles, i dont think am gonna wear a hat ever again!!(cant keep takin it off, so very often,u see)!! and c'mon guys, give India a break. 1 bad game, and everybody wanna stick a pin into them. accepted that India didn't field their best 11, and they didn't prepare the pitch to their strength(nobody goes to SA and Oz expecting spinning tracks)! but these're just afterthoughts. I still back India to square the series(with due respect to SA). this should be one hell of a match. Juz cant wait to see it!! all the very best to both teams!!

  • king_cs on February 13, 2010, 8:56 GMT

    India were a Fast bowler short and 2 Spinner short and 4-5 batsmen short in the first test against SA , the lone bowler was zaheer(i personally think he should retire and play english county ,atleast there he'll be bowling with decent bowlers :P) and i have no idea why Ishant is still playing Zaheer at 30 above is bowling at 135~138 while ishant sharma(20) is bowling at 127~130 and when he occasionally hits 133 the commentators yell " he building up good pace" OMG!!

  • Mick on February 13, 2010, 4:00 GMT

    I found it hilarious that so many people didn't realise your Sehwag vs Prince question was rhetorical humor as opposed to a serious question. Lets see how many people shoot wide of the mark this week!

  • lol on February 13, 2010, 2:48 GMT

    "If India is a fast bowlers’ graveyard, then Steyn is a disturbingly spooky ghost" Best phrase yet lol! Look, SA was missing 2 batsmen too. Ashwell Prince, the middle order stonewaller who scored invaluable runs throughout 2008 (1 o the top scorers for that yr.) was dubiously replaced by Ashwell Prince, an opener who scored a 100 on debut and nothing since. The 2nd batsman missing was JP Duminy the hero in Aus and he was replaced by JP Duminy the off spinner who bats a bit lol!

  • Kam on February 13, 2010, 0:45 GMT

    zaltman makes for delightful reading. full marks to SA for an excellent win. I just cant believe that Ind keep claiming to be no.1 with an absolutely woeful bowling attack, especially when conditions are unhelpful( Zaheer khan aside). Bhajji should be kicked out, he is well past his shelf life. India's practice of preparing square turners whenever they are behind in a series is counterproductive. It is NOT A SPORTING PITCH when it starts turning on day 1. home advantage is one thing, but doctoring pitches and turning them into dust bowls takes that to a new level. Also injuries are part and parcel of modern day cricket, so i think this excuse should stop. Hoping for a sporting pitch and an interesting battle at the Eden Gardens.

  • Craig on February 12, 2010, 23:50 GMT

    Isn't it wonderful to get a glimpse of the post Dravid, Tendulkar, VVS Laxman world for India? India deserves its very brief glimpse of the no 1 Test spot due to the consistent and often brilliant play of these 3 in addition to Ganguly and Kumble over the last 10+ years. India already misses these latter 2 players and it appears the imminent retirement of the former 3 will have an even greater impact.

  • Craig on February 12, 2010, 23:50 GMT

    Isn't it wonderful to get a glimpse of the post Dravid, Tendulkar, VVS Laxman world for India? India deserves its very brief glimpse of the no 1 Test spot due to the consistent and often brilliant play of these 3 in addition to Ganguly and Kumble over the last 10+ years. India already misses these latter 2 players and it appears the imminent retirement of the former 3 will have an even greater impact.

  • Srikanth on February 12, 2010, 21:02 GMT

    To Niels, I dont think Morne is missing Strauss that much. Gambhir has nicely taken over .....Morne nailed him twice in three deliveries....now THAT's a bunny.

  • JVD on February 12, 2010, 17:56 GMT

    I eat sleep and breathe cricket online. If anyone writes anything worthwhile, I read it. This piece is fast becoming legendary. Well done mate, an absolute joy to read. " ...was further evidence that his breakthrough maiden Test century at Old Trafford in 1990 was not a flash in the pan" - Legendary :)

  • lawrence on February 12, 2010, 17:35 GMT

    South Africa will hopefully play as well in the 2nd test and give India a whitewash in their own backyard.

  • enigma on February 12, 2010, 15:41 GMT

    Indians love whining. Fact number one... India wasn't good enough fact two, South Africa hammered them without assistance from them and lastly India are an average side at best.

  • Scott McGinnis on February 12, 2010, 15:36 GMT

    It appears as though even the God's seem to be underwhelmed by the alleged series between the West Indies and Australia as evidenced by the fact that rain decided to intervene twice in two balls this evening. Further evidence that any format other than test cricket is an affront to the Gods

  • dmqi on February 12, 2010, 15:29 GMT

    With Dravid and Laskman or Ruhit and the other, it would have been a closer game than one sided one. But the truth is India is over rated to #1 slot without any serious top class bowler which can come close to the SA team. Hope test 2 will be close, possibly a draw.

  • Abul Hasan on February 12, 2010, 13:31 GMT

    Always a sheer delight to read Andy. What a fantastic sence of humour. India became # 1 by playing mostly poor sides. In my eyes Austrailia and South Africa share the # 1 spot.

  • Abul Hasan on February 12, 2010, 13:27 GMT

    Always a sheer delight to read Andy. What a fantastic sence of humour. India became # 1 by playing mostly poor sides. In my eyes Austrailia and South Africa share the # 1 spot.

  • Grissom on February 12, 2010, 12:43 GMT

    India were totally outplayed except for the first 6 overs and even then they needed an umpire to help out. Even if their injured players return SA will still triumph as we are too strong an opponent for India. India got to number 1 by having other series go their way and actully had to do very little to get there. SA will take the series 2 - 0 unless India prepare a minefield pitch and win the toss and bat first and hope for an incredible amount of luck. And then there will be comments about injured players, selection issues etc. Stop crying about it and accept the inevitable.

  • Zbenek on February 12, 2010, 12:10 GMT

    As a South African supporter I can finally get a decent night's sleep now that I know what went wrong against the English...

    "From an English perspective, we can only praise and thank him for having the decency to be injured at the start of the recent series. After everything England has given to the world – Shakespeare, for example, and cricket – how broad-minded it was of the Phalaborwa Phirecracker to allow England an honourable draw."

    That was genuinely funny.

  • Lucky malabie on February 12, 2010, 12:00 GMT

    Excuses! excuses! excuses! the matter is simple, S.A. was a better team, even with a full strength Indian line up, Dale and co would have stung them. maybe the bets man would have shown some resistance but i doubt if the Indian bowlers would have taken 20 wickets.

  • Martin Oosthuyzen on February 12, 2010, 11:11 GMT

    All I can say is that, when beating by an innings, there can be no excuses! Sorry india!

  • David on February 12, 2010, 11:04 GMT

    In the non-existent ODI series between WI and Aus, people have been calling Gayle "Bollinger's bunny". Well, Gayle put that to rest emphatically tonight by carrying his bat! OK, so the WI innings only lasted 1 over before the rain came, but Gayle survived it nevertheless, which is longer than he's managed to survive in the first two games combined.

  • gopal on February 12, 2010, 10:52 GMT

    qn is : why dont we use bowling machines in india in place of actual bowlers? ans is: because zaltzman thinks ghosts like steyn will come show us how to bowl.

  • niels on February 12, 2010, 9:59 GMT

    I don't think the inclusion of Dravid, Ganguly, Laxman or Steve Waugh would have helped India very much. But thanks to the exclusion of Andrew Strauss, Morne Morkel's figures were rather underwhelming.

  • StaalBurgher on February 12, 2010, 9:11 GMT

    India dropped only 1 catch that "should" have been taken... that jab shot to Vijay at short leg. Not sure where you get 5? A

    s for understrength... look you missed Dravid and Laxman, ok, but that would not have helped the woeful bowling. Even if India had scored 150 more runs (and that is assuming they would) they would most likely still have lost with all that time remaining.

    That said, I expect a much closer contest in the 2nd Test.

  • Chinar on February 12, 2010, 6:57 GMT

    Lets stop moaning about India's injury list etc. Fact of the matter is that SA were the better team by a huge margin. And no team could have survived Steyn. As for the blog, it was an absolute joy to read as usual!

  • PeriyarOru Muttal on February 12, 2010, 5:26 GMT

    5 dropped catches by India helped SA pile up 558 - then India's injury list did not help the middle order - Finally, no one backed up Zaheer Khan Dhoni looked lacklustre and many batsmen got out to sweep shots, when playing was dangerous - Many shouldered arms and got bowled

    I am not convinced SA won on their merits alone - they were aided by obscure Indian strategy - to star, I'll dismiss Srikkanth the selector

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  • PeriyarOru Muttal on February 12, 2010, 5:26 GMT

    5 dropped catches by India helped SA pile up 558 - then India's injury list did not help the middle order - Finally, no one backed up Zaheer Khan Dhoni looked lacklustre and many batsmen got out to sweep shots, when playing was dangerous - Many shouldered arms and got bowled

    I am not convinced SA won on their merits alone - they were aided by obscure Indian strategy - to star, I'll dismiss Srikkanth the selector

  • Chinar on February 12, 2010, 6:57 GMT

    Lets stop moaning about India's injury list etc. Fact of the matter is that SA were the better team by a huge margin. And no team could have survived Steyn. As for the blog, it was an absolute joy to read as usual!

  • StaalBurgher on February 12, 2010, 9:11 GMT

    India dropped only 1 catch that "should" have been taken... that jab shot to Vijay at short leg. Not sure where you get 5? A

    s for understrength... look you missed Dravid and Laxman, ok, but that would not have helped the woeful bowling. Even if India had scored 150 more runs (and that is assuming they would) they would most likely still have lost with all that time remaining.

    That said, I expect a much closer contest in the 2nd Test.

  • niels on February 12, 2010, 9:59 GMT

    I don't think the inclusion of Dravid, Ganguly, Laxman or Steve Waugh would have helped India very much. But thanks to the exclusion of Andrew Strauss, Morne Morkel's figures were rather underwhelming.

  • gopal on February 12, 2010, 10:52 GMT

    qn is : why dont we use bowling machines in india in place of actual bowlers? ans is: because zaltzman thinks ghosts like steyn will come show us how to bowl.

  • David on February 12, 2010, 11:04 GMT

    In the non-existent ODI series between WI and Aus, people have been calling Gayle "Bollinger's bunny". Well, Gayle put that to rest emphatically tonight by carrying his bat! OK, so the WI innings only lasted 1 over before the rain came, but Gayle survived it nevertheless, which is longer than he's managed to survive in the first two games combined.

  • Martin Oosthuyzen on February 12, 2010, 11:11 GMT

    All I can say is that, when beating by an innings, there can be no excuses! Sorry india!

  • Lucky malabie on February 12, 2010, 12:00 GMT

    Excuses! excuses! excuses! the matter is simple, S.A. was a better team, even with a full strength Indian line up, Dale and co would have stung them. maybe the bets man would have shown some resistance but i doubt if the Indian bowlers would have taken 20 wickets.

  • Zbenek on February 12, 2010, 12:10 GMT

    As a South African supporter I can finally get a decent night's sleep now that I know what went wrong against the English...

    "From an English perspective, we can only praise and thank him for having the decency to be injured at the start of the recent series. After everything England has given to the world – Shakespeare, for example, and cricket – how broad-minded it was of the Phalaborwa Phirecracker to allow England an honourable draw."

    That was genuinely funny.

  • Grissom on February 12, 2010, 12:43 GMT

    India were totally outplayed except for the first 6 overs and even then they needed an umpire to help out. Even if their injured players return SA will still triumph as we are too strong an opponent for India. India got to number 1 by having other series go their way and actully had to do very little to get there. SA will take the series 2 - 0 unless India prepare a minefield pitch and win the toss and bat first and hope for an incredible amount of luck. And then there will be comments about injured players, selection issues etc. Stop crying about it and accept the inevitable.