March 21, 2011

Chawla to dress in dog costume

Our reporter reports on a clever new strategy pioneered by India
122

[For immediate international release]

By Our Special Correspondent, Chennai

India’s World Cup campaign received a timely pre-quarter final boost yesterday with the news that the team is prepared to make legspinner Piyush Chawla dress up in a dog costume to assist their chances in the quarter-final with Australia.

Dhoni’s men noticeably perked up in the field at the Chepauk in their successful defence of 268 against West Indies when a small dog sprinted onto the outfield like a quadruped Jonty Rhodes, and, roared on by a crowd excited at the rare sight of something moving with speed and urgency across the outfield, ran rings around assorted groundstaff, policemen and Suresh Raina for several minutes. A somnolent atmosphere was enlivened as the Chennai audience enthusiastically saluted the heroic pooch’s Ned Kelly-style efforts to escape both justice and Munaf Patel.

The West Indies, having been accumulating comfortably at 154 for 2, but whose pre-match psychological preparation unluckily involved visualising that they were cats chasing a mouse, promptly collapsed in a cavalcade of batting ineptitude to 188 all out, as India found some penetration with the ball and zest in the field.

In the post-match press conference, Man-of-the-Match Yuvraj Singh, was asked by Andy Zaltzman, one of the international journalism world’s most fearless investigative reporters, whether India would consider hiring a dog for the Ahmedabad quarter-final, or making out-of-favour leggie Chawla don a doggie outfit and run around the outfield. Yuvraj, without a moment’s thought, replied: “Yes, if it works for us. Definitely.”

As the shockwaves reverberated around the cricketing world, other leading teams, unwilling as ever to be left behind in the race to perfect the latest of the technological innovations to shape the modern game, were rumoured to be considering making their fringe players dress up as animals. England were seen taking receipt of a pantomime-horse costume clearly sized to fit a Collingwood-Yardy front-back combination.

Sources close to the England team suggested that the Collingwood-Yardy nag will be used in the Colombo quarter-final for Ian Bell, the Sledgehammer Of Eternal Justice himself, to ride in to bat like Alexander The Great, intimidating Sri Lankan players and spectators alike.

Chawla himself refused to comment on the breaking news, but was later seen under the floodlights at the Chepauk practising barking and chasing some sticks.

[Ends]

Andy Zaltzman is a stand-up comedian, a regular on the BBC Radio 4, and a writer

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • MJR on March 25, 2011, 9:58 GMT

    Substandard...

  • Ravi on March 24, 2011, 14:39 GMT

    Rather poor by Zaltzman's very high standards.

  • JJames on March 23, 2011, 9:21 GMT

    Good one Andy! I bet you are having a good laugh reading some of the comments (eg. Gaurav). I frankly, had a good laugh reading the comments - a good peak into the intelligence/ common sense among some of us...

  • Biggus on March 23, 2011, 8:28 GMT

    If it was about an Australian you Indians would have found it hilarious. No-one does righteous indignation like you guys.

  • Biggus on March 23, 2011, 8:17 GMT

    What's with the anti-dog lobby. Man's best friend. Fine animals!

  • Suri on March 23, 2011, 6:13 GMT

    Are you out of your ****ing mind????? get a life #$$#^$##

  • Maddy on March 23, 2011, 5:16 GMT

    Won't it be insult to the 'stray' dogs...??? Dogs might go on strike and protest by wearing Chawla's face mask and roam around streets. First off all... it was a blunder by picking Chawla in WC scod by selection committee (Srik & co... any political influence from Chawla's side...?) and later it was a captain cool's (Dhoni) mistake by picking him in playing 11 even after his worst performance.

    Dhoni... u r loosing ur cham of captiancy... Awake... and perform/lead...

  • Maddy on March 23, 2011, 5:04 GMT

    ha ha ha...Won't it be insult to the dog..? ;) Dogs will take revenge by masking Chawla's face and rome around streets.

    Chawla was the most 'wrong' pick by selection committe. Above that picking him after successful failures in playing 11 by Dhoni was a blunder.

  • Indifferent Me on March 22, 2011, 17:10 GMT

    This is some real funny stuff...Chawla in a dog costume...:D...and for all those Indians crying about respect and him being a player; how many of you hav had him in ur starting xi for the indian team???

  • Jim in Retford, Notts on March 22, 2011, 16:52 GMT

    To J and Praveen Chadda. Gentlemen, I imagine it must be terribly awkward and dull trying to get through life without a sense of humour. What's it like?

  • MJR on March 25, 2011, 9:58 GMT

    Substandard...

  • Ravi on March 24, 2011, 14:39 GMT

    Rather poor by Zaltzman's very high standards.

  • JJames on March 23, 2011, 9:21 GMT

    Good one Andy! I bet you are having a good laugh reading some of the comments (eg. Gaurav). I frankly, had a good laugh reading the comments - a good peak into the intelligence/ common sense among some of us...

  • Biggus on March 23, 2011, 8:28 GMT

    If it was about an Australian you Indians would have found it hilarious. No-one does righteous indignation like you guys.

  • Biggus on March 23, 2011, 8:17 GMT

    What's with the anti-dog lobby. Man's best friend. Fine animals!

  • Suri on March 23, 2011, 6:13 GMT

    Are you out of your ****ing mind????? get a life #$$#^$##

  • Maddy on March 23, 2011, 5:16 GMT

    Won't it be insult to the 'stray' dogs...??? Dogs might go on strike and protest by wearing Chawla's face mask and roam around streets. First off all... it was a blunder by picking Chawla in WC scod by selection committee (Srik & co... any political influence from Chawla's side...?) and later it was a captain cool's (Dhoni) mistake by picking him in playing 11 even after his worst performance.

    Dhoni... u r loosing ur cham of captiancy... Awake... and perform/lead...

  • Maddy on March 23, 2011, 5:04 GMT

    ha ha ha...Won't it be insult to the dog..? ;) Dogs will take revenge by masking Chawla's face and rome around streets.

    Chawla was the most 'wrong' pick by selection committe. Above that picking him after successful failures in playing 11 by Dhoni was a blunder.

  • Indifferent Me on March 22, 2011, 17:10 GMT

    This is some real funny stuff...Chawla in a dog costume...:D...and for all those Indians crying about respect and him being a player; how many of you hav had him in ur starting xi for the indian team???

  • Jim in Retford, Notts on March 22, 2011, 16:52 GMT

    To J and Praveen Chadda. Gentlemen, I imagine it must be terribly awkward and dull trying to get through life without a sense of humour. What's it like?

  • Anoop on March 22, 2011, 15:25 GMT

    How is this funny ?

  • Anonymous on March 22, 2011, 13:42 GMT

    How do they allow such boring articles on TOI

  • Anonymous on March 22, 2011, 12:47 GMT

    Looking for better staff than this, Andy. Appears you have hit the same rough patch where Chawla finds himself in.

  • si on March 22, 2011, 12:45 GMT

    SUPERB! Ignore the negative comments Mr. Zaltzman

  • bansilaal on March 22, 2011, 12:29 GMT

    ran out of wit??

  • Mohan on March 22, 2011, 12:20 GMT

    Andy Zaltzman can make humors on circumstances and the situation regarding players,but not the players themselves;Why you have chosen only an Indian player to write an article like this.No matter how humorist you are, you cannot make fun of others by saying Piyush Chawla would be dressed like dog,or practising barking.Nothing funny about this.

  • SHANKAR on March 22, 2011, 12:03 GMT

    BECAUSE CHAWLA GAVE 2 SIXES AGAINST ENGLAND,IT DOES'NT MEAN WE HAVE TO TEASE HIM. SORRY CHAWLA.

  • raghav on March 22, 2011, 11:53 GMT

    Crazy.. thats the one word to describe this...

  • Rikk on March 22, 2011, 11:49 GMT

    I trust that "Andy Zaltzman, one of the international journalism world’s most fearless investigative reporters" will be doing post-match interviews after the India v Australia quarterfinal?

    If so, this reader demands a photograph of any and all dog-costumed players posing with the woolly W.G. Grace.

    Naturally, the same must apply to the Collingwood-Yardy equine equation.

    Don't fail us.

  • dirkie on March 22, 2011, 11:48 GMT

    Some of the comments here turns this piece into a classic. Andy, you should add some of these to your "Extras" column for good measure. Hahahahahahaha!!!

  • Mayank Khurana on March 22, 2011, 11:48 GMT

    Your last line in the article reflects you in bad taste. Not only was this boring, but also seemed a bit self assuming.

  • Sreejith on March 22, 2011, 11:48 GMT

    NOT FUNNY !!!

  • Sachin Mahajan on March 22, 2011, 11:28 GMT

    Simply Awesome! You rock.....deserve a pat on the back for not only writing such a freaking awesome piece but also for the the fragile sensibilities that you might have shattered....lol! love it~!

  • alex on March 22, 2011, 11:09 GMT

    Can't figure out why anyone would be offended by this one. Written just just for laughs. Come on people. Too thin skinned. This is smartly written and extremely funny.

  • Sahil Mahajan on March 22, 2011, 10:59 GMT

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!

  • Vishal on March 22, 2011, 10:51 GMT

    Its good to be witty, but there is a limit to every thing. Piyush Chawla may not have performed well in this world cup, but he is among the top twenty cricketers in 1 billion plus people of India. If just by making such comments makes a journalist, good then I am sure Andy you are the best. And for the Indians who are enjoying this... I would request, to just go out and try bowling a leg spinner.... I am sure you would all look like the DOG you were happy about.

  • SB on March 22, 2011, 10:39 GMT

    Dare I say, it was pretty daft from you Andy? Not even close you to your other brilliant stuff!

  • momabhai on March 22, 2011, 10:36 GMT

    What is this Andy? Please keep yourself in Chawla'a shoes and then read this article yourself. If you still don't feel ashamed, then you definitely deserve similar articles to be written on you.

  • Saj on March 22, 2011, 10:13 GMT

    Why chawla? why not sreesanth; he can perform better ;-)

  • Ryan on March 22, 2011, 10:12 GMT

    Ridiculous...............

  • Anonymous on March 22, 2011, 10:10 GMT

    This is in a very bad taste, and I regret wasting my time reading it.

  • mohak on March 22, 2011, 10:01 GMT

    seems like andy is being hard pressed to meet deadlines...still a few laughs ....u really need to trademark the "sledge hammer of eternal justice"...no matter how many times you use it for Ian Bell i always end up with a chuckle

  • anuj panchal on March 22, 2011, 10:00 GMT

    andy the truth is that u have to indulge urself in dog like humour to get some comments and laughs !! else ur writer career is done !!

  • Shaam on March 22, 2011, 9:51 GMT

    Kudos to you for prompting me to comment on this blog!

    I love your dry intelligent humour a lot, but this time I was utterly disappointed. The whole story revolved around the imagination of a player in dog outfit. Thats boring and not witty at all. I love reading your articles, but looks like you wrote this one just because you wanted to print out something quick. Hope the next of your articles will have humour in it. Good luck mate!

  • Y2SJ on March 22, 2011, 9:30 GMT

    Not funny Andy. Dog is not a respected animal in most cultures. Please be sensitive to other cultures.

  • s. Jyothi on March 22, 2011, 9:29 GMT

    Shame on this type of articals that insult Chawla very badly. He has bad time now. In future may be he is a good legspinner. But insulting the player ie our Indian team player very bad.

  • sachin on March 22, 2011, 9:23 GMT

    Utterly distasteful and atrocious. Laughing on somebody else's expense may be forgiven on occasion, but the tone of this article is very sad. Who ever is the special correspondent, I request you to compare your achievements with that of Piyush chawla and then decide if you are calling him a dog, what should you be called???

  • Seelan on March 22, 2011, 9:05 GMT

    Hilarious...! I don't understand why some people are taking offence and complaining about this one. One needs to have a sense of humour to appreciate these articles. Well done Andy...keep them coming.

  • salim tyrewala on March 22, 2011, 8:21 GMT

    i can be funnier than this. i can even be sillier than this, given half a achance.

  • Sharad on March 22, 2011, 8:21 GMT

    Andy, you are one heck of a writer. your humouorous take on cricketing situatiuon is so exciting to read. I always look forward to your articles. Andy one more thing how do you come up with such unbeleivable comparisons.

  • Anonymous on March 22, 2011, 8:16 GMT

    haha even then i doubt piyush will be able to do any good!

  • Raks on March 22, 2011, 8:10 GMT

    @Ram - what do u read? Ramayana?

  • wow! on March 22, 2011, 8:09 GMT

    Yes that was some fun!, Your articles are always good to read.

  • Raks on March 22, 2011, 8:09 GMT

    @Ajay - U say u r a fan of Andy? dont believe so. This is a masterpiece. Cut andy some slack. He is curning out articles at the speed of balls dropping out of Kamran's hands.

  • Dev on March 22, 2011, 7:29 GMT

    This is just NOT FUNNY... Even though I think that Chawla has been making a fool of himself in the matches, but to compare him to a Dog is cruel... and utterly ridiculous... He is a player and deserves to be respected... He is playing at international level in India, where 1000's of young men would just kill for one chance... so he has some mettle and to be insulted by a guy who has never played cricket is just not done.. Andy, get this right... Indians don't take lightly to insults and this one surely is one...

  • Srikanth on March 22, 2011, 7:20 GMT

    Hey Andy, I thought you took to more serious stuff and that this childish pranks were written by peope such as Anand Ramachandran and co (no pun intended, but Anand always writes this kind of a thing). Poor show Andy. I have followed some of your works earlier. There have been a few good pieces from you,before. But this one is simply pathetic. Get yourself a break Andy. If you think you can elicit a few laughs by trying to dress a pixie in a doggie costue - sorry. This article fails miserably

  • Vipul on March 22, 2011, 7:08 GMT

    That's the problem with we Indians. We take everything seriously. He has written a truly hilarious piece. Have a good laugh and forget about it. It's not as if Piyush Chawla is going to get scalded by his comments. Thanks Andy!!

  • madhav on March 22, 2011, 7:05 GMT

    Andy this was as unbelievably you. You, ponting and Chawla (and many others for the matter but these are most prominent i can recall right now) can do much better and specially you Andy you still have a lot left in your comic writing. I am one of your biggest fans and you disappointed me just like Indian team does disappoint its fans time and again. You don't need scapegoats for your excellent humor sense Andy................ anyway waiting for your return to form

  • S A Raja on March 22, 2011, 6:49 GMT

    He He, good one, but not as hilarious as other stuff Andy. Guys come on Andy is not getting personal or in humane when he says "floodlights at the Chepauk practising barking and chasing some sticks"

    Have some sense of Humour guys.

  • Arjun on March 22, 2011, 6:36 GMT

    Best comment award goes to Praveen Chadda who thinks this article is true =))

  • Nidhin on March 22, 2011, 6:27 GMT

    Barking dogs seldom bite .....

  • sandy on March 22, 2011, 6:25 GMT

    good or bad - at least Chawla has played for India and tried his best. Who are you to compare him with a dog! For your few laughs and reader fan base, you stoop to such low levels.

  • Ayem on March 22, 2011, 6:18 GMT

    are u trying to be funny?

  • Viz on March 22, 2011, 6:16 GMT

    It’s an insult to a player in tougher times. Yuvi should have defended his team mate rather supporting Andy’s sarcasm. The least to say, it’s a pathetic article I have ever read. I guess the might do much better work than this.

  • praszz on March 22, 2011, 6:09 GMT

    Shame on these idiots. I am a Sri Lankan, But yet we don't like this article, Why India inspired is due to Zaheer, As I remember when we chased 404 against India we were needed 50 odd from 50 balls with 6 wickets. Then this wonderful bowler came with Nehera to avoid a sure win for us. I have seen this before, Hats off for you Zaheer.

  • Osama on March 22, 2011, 6:02 GMT

    please don't accept my previous comment. I got a little carried away. anyway, to those who were offended/not amused by the article.

    I understand guys how you must have felt due the who "dog costume" thing but guys come on, in britain, a dog doesn't have the "elevated" status that it enjoys here in India and Pakistan. Andy simply creates beautifully and stomach-turningly-hilariously ridiculous images for our delight. and that's why reading his articles is one of the major joys of life for people like me. I literally laugh out loud as I read his articles. And the victim of his "dog-costume" thing could have been imran khan for all i care and i still would have laughed as hard. This guy is here to entertain! How can you say he's being offensive? I mean, he couldn't hurt a fly. Not owing to an overflow of compassion, but due to the lack of agility required to accomplish the act. hehe... cheers

  • Andrew on March 22, 2011, 5:52 GMT

    Dear All reader its just fake article don"t believe on this such kind of spam article.

  • yk on March 22, 2011, 5:43 GMT

    Oh for gods sake people, go get yourselves a sense of humour. Its called "satire" look it up in the dictionary. I notice that almost all here don't have an issue with Yardy being the rear end of a pantomime horse.

    Andy, amazing article. Keep it up.

  • Yasir Hasan on March 22, 2011, 5:13 GMT

    Generally a fan of Andy's work, but this is rather cheap...

  • VIKRAM on March 22, 2011, 5:09 GMT

    It doesnot mean that one of the international most fearless journalist comparing Chawla with Dog...Its not funny...

  • srinivasan on March 22, 2011, 4:55 GMT

    Haaaaahaaahaaahaaaaaaaaa

  • D 206 on March 22, 2011, 4:52 GMT

    lmao ... funny but a little inappropriate dont u think??

  • Avik on March 22, 2011, 4:51 GMT

    Dear Andy,

    Wait till the BCCI honchos read this and conclude that you've insulted one of their own (assuming they still think that Indian players are their own). The only way I figure you'll get out of this is that the grapevine has it that the BCCI has stopped reading everything nowadays, other than financial statements. In the event they do think that a little more knowledge is necessary in their erudite existence (and pick this article up), you might save yourself the death bell (no pun intended on Ian Bell) is by warranting that the next 2 dozen insults generating from your genius mind will be sponsored by half a dozen BCCI-approved corporates. As they say, all's well that ends well, unless of course you give the BCCI a run for its money (literally) and pocket yourself all the proceeds from the sponsorships!

  • Mohan Krishna on March 22, 2011, 4:40 GMT

    Oh man is that so funny?...Grow up please.!!

  • Sunnyg on March 22, 2011, 4:39 GMT

    @praveen chadda bro the quotes were fictious yuvi never said anything like that and pls guys its a comic article you dont have to be critical 'bout it just read it and if its funny good if its not then dont go biting and BTW this was funny

  • Swapnil on March 22, 2011, 4:24 GMT

    Really a pathetic article by Andy. He has written many good articles but this is just abysmal. Hope to see some good, well thought articles in future.

  • Anonymous on March 22, 2011, 4:23 GMT

    not as funny as usual. far cry from the days of talking about ricky ponting playing with tiny versions of mcgrath and warne in his hotel room.

  • Latha on March 22, 2011, 4:17 GMT

    @Praveen Chadda: dude this is satire & obviously made up. no one wud say dat about their team mates & not in d least Yuvi. Yuvi is a match winner & he shas proved dat more than once in dis WC. @Andy: pls don't insult players for a few cheap laughs. i've always loved ur articles but dis one aint one of them disappointed to say d least :(

  • Anonymous on March 22, 2011, 4:12 GMT

    LOl LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOL

  • Ashok1010 on March 22, 2011, 3:17 GMT

    Gosh - this is seriously funny - you are the da man.Great Humour, keep it going, and don't listen to the other comments from people who don't have a sense of Humour

  • Ramesh on March 22, 2011, 2:54 GMT

    Silly stuff Andy. Humour is all about making fun without insulting a person. You've utterly disrespected a player who's going through a rough patch in the biggest tournament of his career. Poor Chawla is somehow better than Ponting and White. Why do everyone target Chawla alone?

  • Dr. Samir More on March 22, 2011, 2:41 GMT

    Not good, Andy. They are players and they reserve respect instead of liking them to animals. They may not be in great form, but they are certainly good enough to be here in this world cup or the probable teams...and most definitely better than you are at the game anyway. The only person who has lost some respect with this is YOU!

  • Xophura on March 22, 2011, 2:26 GMT

    A pathetic-wannabe-funny article..Trying too hard to sound funny. Dont think one needs to do this unless one is having some sort of identity crisis...

  • Satyam Tyagi on March 22, 2011, 1:59 GMT

    Disappointed not funny

  • Nirav Mahajan on March 22, 2011, 1:46 GMT

    Searched for a Dislike button...Wrote a comment in lieu..

    NOT funny...Reading this article was like looking at some one trying too hard when constipated...

    Chawla-dog comparison.. Abuse of literary freedom and unnecessary take on a player not doing well in spite of best efforts

  • Babar on March 22, 2011, 1:41 GMT

    Hilarious. Only a british can create such comedy

  • it's a me mario on March 22, 2011, 1:39 GMT

    don't usually comment on these things, but jeez people, take a chill pill. it's just a satirical piece of writing. Any comparison made between a dog and piyush chawla was made in jest. if you can't see that, then there is clearly something wrong, regardless of any social context it may or may not have in india. on a seperate note, nice work andy, the reference to Ian Bell was par excellence.

  • Sai on March 22, 2011, 1:27 GMT

    "but whose pre-match psychological preparation unluckily involved visualising that they were cats chasing a mouse, promptly collapsed in a cavalcade of batting ineptitude to 188 all out" Ha ha! Hilarious Andy. Might be true :)

  • Andrew on March 22, 2011, 1:26 GMT

    Keep up the good work Andy, although you missed a trick here with an article involving Australia, India and a dog and did not mention Micheal Clarke and his unfortunate nickname of Pup. Probably a little too easy.

  • Siddhant Singh on March 22, 2011, 0:44 GMT

    The article proved that you are infantile satirist by birth. But my dear !!! Why you are attempting your instincts on esteemed Indian stalwarts. They are heartily beloved entities of their nation.

    And you are pretty clever, right... I don't feel you possess enough courage to indite anything like that for Tendulkar. You are fairly aware of what sort of controversial deadlock you would have been putting yourself into...

    But you caught Chawla... Who knows ?? If some seasons later Piyush achieves a standardized status to that of Kumble/Warnie (he possess that much talent and has enough time), in that case you will be rammed to slant your focus on any other Indian tyro.

    There were a lot of other positives and negatives for both teams in that game, hopefully upon which you could have engrossed.

    But what anybody can do ??? No alternative for "Lineament Passion".....

  • Ajay D on March 22, 2011, 0:18 GMT

    Atrocious.Not something that you'd put up on your blog.you're trying too hard, Andy..... Is it a case of feeling the Chepauk heat? Disappointed !!!

  • Mukundan on March 21, 2011, 23:51 GMT

    Incredibly funny. ! Love it

    Thanks Mukundan

  • Tommycove on March 21, 2011, 23:13 GMT

    Zaltzman is a god but i have to admit this isnt his best work but still arousing non the less. Im not sure why people are taking such offence to the fact he compared an idian player to a dog, if you understand zaltzman(or comedy for that matter)it is in no way meant to be hurtful to the man himself.

    ZALTZMAN!!! what the hell are you doing out there? why did we have to wait an eternity for your last podcast and now your blog is half the size it normally is? Sort it out sunshine or there will be trouble.

    P.S - touch me

  • vivek on March 21, 2011, 22:53 GMT

    Best of Zaltz.....Simply out of the world thinking....hilarious...

  • Anonymous on March 21, 2011, 22:44 GMT

    I interviewed someone called andy zaltzman who was claiming tobe the fearless journalist...whom i found after his interview as a coward. Coz he was insulting only those players who are trying to get on their feet in cricket....but he wouldn't dare to say such things like dog for an established player like Sachin. Some rumour in journalism makes their artical interesting to read...but when they cross their limit...start insulting people....it shows to what extent this journalist can go to abuse their freedom of writing...Come on Andy...You know deep down that you have made a mistake by insulting those players whom you have mentioned in this artical....Hope you do apologise to those players and their fans. That would only make u better person....and not an egoist person.

  • Pommie Writer & CRitic on March 21, 2011, 22:28 GMT

    Pretty lame article. The standards of English literature have gone down the potty.

  • Amir on March 21, 2011, 21:42 GMT

    Generally speaking, Andy, I love you. But show some respect for the players. Have you considered what it means in Indian culture to compare a person with a dog? Or calling Collingwood and Yardy a horse? Did you think about the connotations? I'm not going to take this super seriously; I'm sure you were just trying for laughs, and you normally do it brilliantly. But you can do a lot better than these kind of cheap and insulting tactics. I'm disappointed.

  • Sreekanth Bhaskaran on March 21, 2011, 21:25 GMT

    I am really disappointed with the editor of cricinfo for publishing such an obnoxious, completely irrelevant and degrading article, no matter how you look at it, in one of the most loved sports sites ever!!!!!!

  • Prad on March 21, 2011, 20:56 GMT

    A better option would be to wear VVS Laxman mask and do the same lap when the Aussies are fielding !

  • E on March 21, 2011, 20:01 GMT

    like the Idea of having bench Players dressed up in mascot for their luck but that should be anyone on that team..

  • kazi on March 21, 2011, 19:53 GMT

    i laughed so hard, i almost had a hernia!

  • Ali on March 21, 2011, 19:39 GMT

    Yuvi what he was thinking huh bad article!!!!!

  • Ace on March 21, 2011, 19:22 GMT

    DAMN! Dude you absolutely had me crack up rolling on the floor! Hilarity at its best. Even more worth to see some Indian sore grapes whine over here. Come on folks, get a life and appreciate good humour, if you do grasp it that is x)

  • Maximus on March 21, 2011, 19:09 GMT

    Zaltzee, you asked the wrong player the question, should pose the same Q to Dhoni and he would instead agree to at-least have Sreesanth in the team to irk and unnerve the Aussies come Thursday.

    Operation:Indian Hornet

  • CricFan2011 on March 21, 2011, 18:59 GMT

    While I laughs from time to time when reading Andy’s columns but lately I have a feeling that he is been given too much of a responsibility to write every other day for Cricinfo – I also feel that the world cup will be a good cultural sensitivity training for him. If he does not learn by means of the readers feedback or by social networking in sub-continent during the six weeks then he definitely need a separate official “cultural competency training”. However, I do agree with the notion whether it was implied in his article or not that you do need an animal instinct to deal with the Australian team otherwise they will walk all over you like the hungry hyenas. The prime example was the incident between Ponting/Haddin vs few cricketers in the Pakistani outfit – as soon as Haddin realized that his mates are dealing with the starving cornered tigers he backed off.

  • akshay on March 21, 2011, 18:51 GMT

    childish really....and mindless too

  • vivek mohan on March 21, 2011, 18:33 GMT

    ha ha ha ha ha ha...you have bettered this one Andy...what will be the fate of cricket journalism without you??

  • shiven on March 21, 2011, 18:28 GMT

    I love reading your articles which are funny till now. But this piece is utterly atrocious and completely uncalled for. " floodlights at the Chepauk practising barking and chasing some sticks" is inhumane. pantomime-horse costume is fun so as a bunny costume. But barking and all when related to human is demeaning and in India it is regarded as horrifyingly monstrous.

  • Paddy on March 21, 2011, 17:59 GMT

    Where do these guys come from? Hilarious. I can't stop laughing after reading "but was later seen under the floodlights at the Chepauk practicing barking and chasing some sticks." Keep up the great work Andy. I love reading your post.

  • Aman Narang on March 21, 2011, 17:56 GMT

    Funny but really not one of your best works

  • Ram on March 21, 2011, 17:24 GMT

    err.. Was that supposed to be funny? Sorry to say, but one of the lamest articles I've read in recent times and I read a lot

  • Rahul on March 21, 2011, 17:24 GMT

    I usually like Zaltzman's work, but this was just .. not funny. At all. Almost felt a little awkward reading it. I tried my best to laugh, but it just didn't happen ..

  • darkmanT on March 21, 2011, 17:17 GMT

    WTF ? seriously whats about this Chawla-Dog thing?

    "Collingwood-Yardy nag will be used in the Colombo quarter-final for Ian Bell, the Sledgehammer Of Eternal Justice himself, to ride in to bat like Alexander The Great, intimidating Sri Lankan players and spectators alike."

    LMAO :D :D

  • adnan on March 21, 2011, 16:16 GMT

    this one is the most hilarious. Many many thanx for putting up such an article.

  • Shamit on March 21, 2011, 16:02 GMT

    Andy, I simply love you ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! :D

  • J on March 21, 2011, 15:58 GMT

    Why do you hate Chawla ? I dont hate Chawla....

  • Ankur on March 21, 2011, 15:56 GMT

    A tad bit harsh, but none the less funny! I'd perk up on the way the Windies Sharks got smit bitten!

  • skyeshwin on March 21, 2011, 15:31 GMT

    I cant stop laughing....Funniest article by Andy...:)

  • Anonymous on March 21, 2011, 15:11 GMT

    too good

  • Split Infinitive on March 21, 2011, 15:10 GMT

    What a load of cobblers Zaltzman! It was me and my mates who won it for India. Am surprised you didn't see us in stand G, furling the largest West Indies flag ever made (knotted together out of 16 complimentary flags we appropriated at the entrance) to the intense dislike of Zak, who was fielding at third-man. He then took the old ball, got the devastating Smith out - and on his return to his position after the over, gave us the finger (not in reality of course, but he sure looked like he wanted to)!

  • Phoenix on March 21, 2011, 15:00 GMT

    One of the many mindless, unnecessary article on a player who is going through a rough patch...

  • Praveen Chadda on March 21, 2011, 14:25 GMT

    This is a disrespectful statement by Yuvraj to compare his teammate with a dog just to make gora journalists laugh. Shame on Yuvi who himself looks like a donkey with big teeth and goofy smile. He is the most over rated no-talent player in Indian side. I hope he gets out on a duck against Australia in QF maybe then he would realize how demeaning it is to call compare his fellow team member with a dog. Shame Yuvi.. I hope you could never play for Indian ever again.

  • Raj J on March 21, 2011, 14:16 GMT

    Funny NOT ...

  • nick on March 21, 2011, 14:00 GMT

    HHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAAHHH loved the Colly-yardy part hahaha

  • Jagdeo on March 21, 2011, 14:00 GMT

    Alas what fools we make of ourselves for a few cheap laughs.

  • Gaurav on March 21, 2011, 13:24 GMT

    Well, Andy, we really appreciate the kind of humour and literary expertise that you have in your articles (and they are fun to read), however, this one is kind of inappropriate. Chawla's a player and you could have given him some respect. Think if you had written similar article on Sachin about 20 years back and it was re-published today. Your career (assuming it to be so long :)) would have ended with immediate effect. PS: Not comparing Chawla and Sachin, but the fact is that both of them are players.

  • Cricketlover on March 21, 2011, 13:24 GMT

    Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on Chawla, you have major role to play against Aussies.

  • Rohan Bahl on March 21, 2011, 12:53 GMT

    Hahahahahaha!!!! Thats so true! Piyush as a Dog. But the problem is that he doesn't bite!!

  • ajay on March 21, 2011, 12:45 GMT

    Andy, you are capable of much better stuff, else you can't survive in the 'dog' race of journalism. Best don't manufacture things out of nothing and avoid such 'silly points' for the starters and main course as well. Childish, to say the least. By the way, I am your fan, but disappointed at this.

  • Anonymous on March 21, 2011, 12:23 GMT

    pathetic .. Grow up

  • Ahmad. on March 21, 2011, 12:06 GMT

    Hahahaha......this is some hilarious sh*t. Andy Zaltzman.....I'm hereby your fan :). Thanks for the laughs. You Rock.

  • Santosh on March 21, 2011, 11:52 GMT

    Chawla in a dog costume.. practising barking and chasing sticks :) unbelievably hilarious.... hehehehe

  • No featured comments at the moment.

  • Santosh on March 21, 2011, 11:52 GMT

    Chawla in a dog costume.. practising barking and chasing sticks :) unbelievably hilarious.... hehehehe

  • Ahmad. on March 21, 2011, 12:06 GMT

    Hahahaha......this is some hilarious sh*t. Andy Zaltzman.....I'm hereby your fan :). Thanks for the laughs. You Rock.

  • Anonymous on March 21, 2011, 12:23 GMT

    pathetic .. Grow up

  • ajay on March 21, 2011, 12:45 GMT

    Andy, you are capable of much better stuff, else you can't survive in the 'dog' race of journalism. Best don't manufacture things out of nothing and avoid such 'silly points' for the starters and main course as well. Childish, to say the least. By the way, I am your fan, but disappointed at this.

  • Rohan Bahl on March 21, 2011, 12:53 GMT

    Hahahahahaha!!!! Thats so true! Piyush as a Dog. But the problem is that he doesn't bite!!

  • Cricketlover on March 21, 2011, 13:24 GMT

    Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on Chawla, you have major role to play against Aussies.

  • Gaurav on March 21, 2011, 13:24 GMT

    Well, Andy, we really appreciate the kind of humour and literary expertise that you have in your articles (and they are fun to read), however, this one is kind of inappropriate. Chawla's a player and you could have given him some respect. Think if you had written similar article on Sachin about 20 years back and it was re-published today. Your career (assuming it to be so long :)) would have ended with immediate effect. PS: Not comparing Chawla and Sachin, but the fact is that both of them are players.

  • Jagdeo on March 21, 2011, 14:00 GMT

    Alas what fools we make of ourselves for a few cheap laughs.

  • nick on March 21, 2011, 14:00 GMT

    HHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAAHHH loved the Colly-yardy part hahaha

  • Raj J on March 21, 2011, 14:16 GMT

    Funny NOT ...