The week on Twitter March 14, 2013

'I think Hughesy has something wrong with his bum'

Expert physiological analysis and more in this week's Twitter round-up

No prizes for guessing the focus of this week's Twitter round-up, and as ever, the nature of the foremost microblogging site means that we will be tackling the matter in great depth. We won't just be looking at the rights and wrongs of Australia's decision to suspend four players, the discussion will also lead us to answer questions about culture, contentment and maturity.

The punishment
Andrew Flintoff gives the English view on this week's events.

"Amazing 4 Aussie players banned for not doing homework , I thought letting them play in the next test would be punishment enough #3-0india"

The wishful thinking
David Warner feels that he is expressing the feelings of many people.

"Think the homework saga is getting a little old now."

Nice try, Dave. But you're wrong.

The turnaround
Last week Matthew Hayden was sitting in an airport, smugly contemplating how wonderful his life was. But that was before four Australian players were dropped for crimes against bureaucracy.

"Morning all. Sitting in Airport Lounge in Dubai returning to India ahead of Test. I am saddened over the last few days in Aus Cric History"

The contrast is stark. Airport philosophy is a dangerous game.

The comfort zone
Is the problem that recognition, fame and fortune are coming too easily to Australian players these days? Let's get the view of Pat Cummins. Are young Aussie cricketers spoilt? Are they perhaps too comfortable?

"In Perth for a few days. Love it here, it's like a 4th home to me."

The grown-up
Accusations of back chat and "giving attitude", incomplete homework, and a stroppy vice-captain who says he might decide not to play anymore (a sentiment that was in no way related to the fact that he'd just been told off). It's hard to avoid the feeling that Australia's cricketers are maybe just a tad juvenile.

Can David Warner bring a bit of maturity to the squad?

"I think Hughsy has something wrong with his bum!! He walking funny, #mythoughts he has grapes."

Guess that's a no.

The older grown-up
It's not like the good old days when strong, serious-minded men like Shane Warne represented Australia.

"Try saying "I like cops" without your lips touching......"

The actual grown-ups
But what is maturity really all about? Well, firstly it's about finding yourself irritated by seemingly trivial things. For example, Glenn McGrath has been admirably frustrated with the human race this week.

"Why do people stand so close to the baggage carousel at the airport?? Stay back till your bag is there, then walk forward and collect it!!"

Glenn's right on the money there. And why does everyone rush towards the check-in desk, even when it's not their row being called? You've got allocated seats and the plane's not going to leave without you.

Anyway, a second way to show maturity is to react negatively to any form of change, like David Hussey.

"Not entirely sure I like the new sized @theage newspaper. It was an art to learn how to fold and read and an art well worth learning!"

This is what Australia are missing: general tetchiness and a deep-seated fear of change. This is what they need to instil.

Tino Best's modesty corner
Why is Tino here?

"I'm not here to impress you ,I'm here to express who I am #tino95"

And he's achieved that via a hashtag.

Chris Gayle's modesty corner
Is Chris Gayle jealous of anyone?

"I'm jealous of my parents. I'll never have a kid as cool as theirs."

Nottinghamshire's Riki Wessels is venturing into new territory.

"Just smashed a @YOSushi #rolloingdownhills"

What is this depravity?

Nando's Watch
Wessels' team-mate Alex Hales expresses all of our feelings regarding that.

"Properly missed nandos"

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket

Comments have now been closed for this article

  • Insult_2_Injury on March 17, 2013, 3:24 GMT

    Thanks Andrew, your article has finally dispelled the myth that cricket is the thinking mans pastime. It is now obvious how low humans can go for so called entertainment. It becomes more difficult to defend players against the burgeoning sport bureaucracy, when they insist on informing the world as stream of consciousness twits. Mind you, these twitterings surely must inform Mickey Arthur and his coaching fraternity that simple question - one word answers is their best information gathering recourse to make them look busy in the rooms while their teams are being beaten on the field. Or maybe coaches could ask them to tweet their homework... Must say I'm still confused why Johnson & Khuwaja were punished for homework problems. My understanding is that the brief was to explain how they could improve for the next Test. Surely saying 'I could make a difference if, unlike the first 2 Test, I was picked' is succinct, honest and shows the desire any coach would admire?

  • ToTellUTheTruth on March 14, 2013, 18:26 GMT

    Chris Gayle!!! Hilarious and so true!!!

  • sanyam_kamat on March 14, 2013, 15:05 GMT

    I feel this tweet from Damien Martyn ‏@dmartyn30 was missed from the round-ups "Is it safe to go to bed? don't want to wake up in the morning and the whole side is gone #thecricketclub #IndvAus"

  • MaJaffer on March 14, 2013, 5:27 GMT

    Hey Alex! BIG fan of your round-ups. But I feel you've had it too easy this week thanks to Mr. Arthur and the home-work saga. SO, I think it is only fair to your readers that you type up another round-up for the week, I'm sure Tino best & Co. will help you do that quite comfortably :)

  • No featured comments at the moment.