The Heavy Ball
Meet the England side
It's not just the three captains. Every man has a proper and well defined designation in the hierarchy
Alex Bowden
13-May-2011
Andy Flower - team director
Responsible for monitoring key performance indicators for all staff, specifically the chief business metrics of "runs" and "wickets".
Responsible for monitoring key performance indicators for all staff, specifically the chief business metrics of "runs" and "wickets".
Andrew Strauss - Test captain
Responsible for Test team. Establishes brand identity and corporate legacy. Also serves as human response communications orchestrator.
Responsible for Test team. Establishes brand identity and corporate legacy. Also serves as human response communications orchestrator.
Alastair Cook - one-day captain and Test vice-captain
Responsible for one-day team. Reports to Test captain. Provides business security and facilitates long-term planning.
Full postResponsible for one-day team. Reports to Test captain. Provides business security and facilitates long-term planning.
A letter of resignation
Today's cricket world is a dangerous place to be in, especially for the most dangerous elements
As discovered by Samantha Pendergrast
12-May-2011
Dear boss,
I know this is not the usual way to inform of one's resignation in our profession. Normally the police intervene to cut short our careers, but I am forced to take such an extreme step because it's too much to take anymore.
I think I am going mad. Our jobs were hard enough already, what with getting a bunch of whiny, greedy players to do what is required, but now we need to look out for undercover reporters as well? Everywhere I look, I think someone's sitting with a hidden camera, waiting for me. I was nearly thrown out of the bus the other day because I prodded a baby's pram looking for hidden devices. (It got worse when I told the mother I suspected there may be bomb inside, but as it turns out the baby was just really fat.)
Full postWhy watching the IPL is more fun online
Because of the glorious interactive nature of the medium, or something. (Warning, includes speculation about lungis)
Sidin Vadukut
09-May-2011
A few days ago the Kolkata Knight Riders had their - and I am going to put this delicately - backward third man, by which I mean arse, handed to them by the Kochi Tuskers. Kochi had scored a scintillating 156 runs in 20 overs. At one point it looked as if Jacques Kallis would effortlessly take Kolkata to victory. But then Kochi upped the ante and, to use a popular Biblical metaphor here, went Old Testament all over their backward third men. Suddenly Kolkata began to shed wickets like dandruff and eventually Kochi won by a respectable 17 runs.
I watched the entire match not on a television set but on my computer via the official IPL video stream. Now you may wonder why I did this when there is a perfectly functioning television at home. Not only that, since I am a journalist who works out of home every day of the week, why shouldn't I just plant myself in front of the TV, crack open a beer and watch the whole match in my underwear? And then afterwards just sell an article to some magazine somewhere that is composed entirely of Wikipedia excerpts.
I don't do this because of two reasons:
Full postBite It
What's common between Michael Jackson and Shahid Afridi? They had the hunger to succeed
Deepak Gopalakrishnan and Krish Ashok
08-May-2011
We understand. Eight hours a day on a hot, sweaty cricket pitch, away from loved ones, the latest version of Angry Birds, social networking sites, and more importantly - food. Who can blame you for wanting a little extra nourishment by means of a blade of grass or two, some skittles that you've snuck in, or cricketing equipment (they're full of fibre)? Here's a tribute to one of the most mercurial Pakistanis of our time. Sing along to Michael Jackson's Beat It.
They told him don't you ever bat around here
Don't wanna see your fours, your sixes disappear.
The fire's in their eyes, you better watch what you smear,
So bite it. Just bite it.
Don't wanna see your fours, your sixes disappear.
The fire's in their eyes, you better watch what you smear,
So bite it. Just bite it.
You better run like you're 18 years again.
Don't wanna see no mud, so hide it while you can.
But the seam is really tough, can't use a broken tin can
, So bite it. But you're gonna be banned.
Full postDon't wanna see no mud, so hide it while you can.
But the seam is really tough, can't use a broken tin can
, So bite it. But you're gonna be banned.
Bikini lines, scented candles, and my pal Watto
A Rajasthan Royals fan takes time off from beauty treatments to pour her heart out
As discovered by Samantha Pendergrast
06-May-2011
April 25
I'm excited. Shane's "new face" has given the moisturiser I endorse some grand publicity. I got a letter from Australia today asking me if I could send five kilos of the stuff! Must be a corporate gift scheme. I'll send it off right away, Mr Benaud.
I'm excited. Shane's "new face" has given the moisturiser I endorse some grand publicity. I got a letter from Australia today asking me if I could send five kilos of the stuff! Must be a corporate gift scheme. I'll send it off right away, Mr Benaud.
April 26
Sat up all night reading up on cricket. I am determined to beat Shilpa at the quiz we'll be taking as a charity event for my bikini line. All proceeds will go towards research to develop ways to make it tauter and smoother.
Sat up all night reading up on cricket. I am determined to beat Shilpa at the quiz we'll be taking as a charity event for my bikini line. All proceeds will go towards research to develop ways to make it tauter and smoother.
Some strange things I've learnt:
Full postClub cricket rules, ok
The international game can go jump in a well. The little leagues are where it's at
Andrew Fernando
05-May-2011
Glorious club cricket. That unimpeachable paragon of our fair and wondrous sport.
The magnificent spectacle of outfields that have remained unmown for so long that herds of giraffe have ousted the previous residents of cow corner. The marvels of artificial pitches so uneven they could transform unassuming Ashley Giles non-turners into a Curtly Ambrose decapitator-comets. The unsurpassed succulence of the mince-and-cheese pies that are gobbled on the way to the game after sleeping in too long on Saturday, again.
Surely the heart and soul of cricket are the regular cricketfolk who brave heavy hangovers to stumble onto their respective fields every weekend.
Full postIndia look to appoint first-ever fan coach
Plus: the IPL's innovative new rain rule
Anand Ramachandran
03-May-2011
While the appointment of Duncan Fletcher as the Indian team coach has been getting all the attention, the BCCI has also been looking to fill a rather unusual coaching position - that of a fan coach. According to president Shashank Manohar, the board is feeling the need to get a full-time coach to improve the quality of Indian cricket fans.
Speaking to the press, Manohar said "We're the No.1 Test side, we're ODI world champions, we have the world's leading Twenty20 league - so we're actually doing fairly well on the pitch. The one area where we thought India really needs to take major strides is in having awesome, high-calibre fans - hence the move to get a full time coach to make it happen."
"As a nation, we really haven't shown much improvement as fans over the past 30 years. We still go into stone-throwing, property-destroying rage sprees when the team loses. We still haven't come up with a more interesting fan yell than the usual "Indyaaaaaaa-Indya-clapclapclap" or "Sachiiiiiiiiiin-Sachin-clapclapclap". We still write cheesy banners where we expand the names of our favourite cricketers, using generic superlatives and at least one random contrivance - such as expanding Laxman to Legendary Amazing Xylophone Marvellous Astounding Notary, or Ganguly to Great Awesome Notable Gutsy Ukulele Yukulele. Things really need to get better."
Full postSweep
Juvenile disaffection and self-loathing? Not quite, turns out Radiohead were on about cricket
Deepak Gopalakrishnan and Krish Ashok
02-May-2011
Cricketing shots are people too. And even shots can be traditionalists. Just like those of us who sneer at anything shorter than 450 overs. Here's the story of a famous stroke, which looks down upon a modified, shall we say reversed, version of itself. To be sung to the tune of Radiohead's "Creep".
When we were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're mostly a top edge
Making team fans a'cry
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're mostly a top edge
Making team fans a'cry
You float like a feather
To short third man
You wish you're creative
You're not very special
Full postTo short third man
You wish you're creative
You're not very special
PCB hand Twitter a life ban
Wahab Riaz's misuse of the platform to blame. Facebook safe for now
Nishant Joshi
01-May-2011
KARACHI - The PCB has announced drastic measures in response to Wahab Riaz's "incessant and outrageous" messaging on Twitter, initiating legal proceedings against the social networking giant.
As of April 26, Riaz, regarded by many to be Pakistan's best fast-bowling prospect since Shoaib Akhtar, had racked up a grand total of 64 "tweets", apparently contravening his contract with the PCB.
The relevant part of the players' contract reads as follows: "While on tour, players agree to refrain from all forms of contact with fans, family, and Kamran Akmal."
Full postThe powers of Fletch
An anonymous India player gives an account of the new coach's arrival and his initial impact
Alex Bowden
29-Apr-2011
I'd heard a bit about Duncan Fletcher from some of the England players. They spoke of an enigmatic guru figure who seemed able to sense just what was needed in any given situation. It wasn't so much the details of what they said that had impressed, so much as their tone of voice. Their soft, respectful way of speaking indicated nothing short of awe.
Gathered in that room, all sat in rows facing the front of the room, the squad was bubbling with excitement at the prospect of finally meeting the great man. Somehow sensing that his arrival was imminent, the conversation died down and as we stared at the door, there appeared that familiar figure.
The clothes were a different colour, but the look was the same. The collar turned up on his polo shirt, the broad-brimmed hat, the huge sunglasses, the distinctive jowls. He walked to the front of the room and turned to face us square on. Impassive behind his dark glasses, he remained silent and still for a minute that seemed like an hour, then he turned and walked out again.
Full post