Bikini lines, scented candles, and my pal Watto
A Rajasthan Royals fan takes time off from beauty treatments to pour her heart out
As discovered by Samantha Pendergrast
06-May-2011
The face that launched a thousand impossible dreams • AFP
April 25
I'm excited. Shane's "new face" has given the moisturiser I endorse some grand publicity. I got a letter from Australia today asking me if I could send five kilos of the stuff! Must be a corporate gift scheme. I'll send it off right away, Mr Benaud.
I'm excited. Shane's "new face" has given the moisturiser I endorse some grand publicity. I got a letter from Australia today asking me if I could send five kilos of the stuff! Must be a corporate gift scheme. I'll send it off right away, Mr Benaud.
April 26
Sat up all night reading up on cricket. I am determined to beat Shilpa at the quiz we'll be taking as a charity event for my bikini line. All proceeds will go towards research to develop ways to make it tauter and smoother.
Sat up all night reading up on cricket. I am determined to beat Shilpa at the quiz we'll be taking as a charity event for my bikini line. All proceeds will go towards research to develop ways to make it tauter and smoother.
Some strange things I've learnt:
To be called a hooker is a huge compliment, but not a slogger.
A crease is to be protected.
And Sri Lanka and India play each other a lot
A crease is to be protected.
And Sri Lanka and India play each other a lot
April 27
Rahul is a creepy man and should be kept away from girls. I was reading and sunbathing on the balcony and was wondering aloud if I should get a massage. Rahul came over, looked at me and said, while twirling his wrists, "It's all in the hands, you know. I could give you a quick one-hour session, if you like. Not to toot my own horn but I'm known to be an expert. Unless you'd prefer VVS."
Rahul is a creepy man and should be kept away from girls. I was reading and sunbathing on the balcony and was wondering aloud if I should get a massage. Rahul came over, looked at me and said, while twirling his wrists, "It's all in the hands, you know. I could give you a quick one-hour session, if you like. Not to toot my own horn but I'm known to be an expert. Unless you'd prefer VVS."
April 28
Watto's my favourite person in the team after Shane. The others look totally blank when I talk about things other than cricket. So one-track. Watto is happy to listen when I want to talk about split-hair treatment, deep-tissue massage, the perils of waxing at home... he even lent me his cuticle remover after Shane broke mine chasing Johan with it, screaming, "You can't handle the truth!" I wanted to tell him the reference wasn't quite correct, but Johan said not to bother. Seems they do it once a week because it makes the younger players laugh. Another of Shane's brilliant motivational techniques.
Watto's my favourite person in the team after Shane. The others look totally blank when I talk about things other than cricket. So one-track. Watto is happy to listen when I want to talk about split-hair treatment, deep-tissue massage, the perils of waxing at home... he even lent me his cuticle remover after Shane broke mine chasing Johan with it, screaming, "You can't handle the truth!" I wanted to tell him the reference wasn't quite correct, but Johan said not to bother. Seems they do it once a week because it makes the younger players laugh. Another of Shane's brilliant motivational techniques.
I suggested a motivational technique too: a cameo in the next Mummy movie for the best performer (Brendan's an old friend, so I could swing that). Shane thinks it might work better as a threat.
But things got a little awkward with Watto when I gifted him a box of scented candles. He began to cry! Turns out he had a repressed memory of his Australian team-mates deriding him for lighting one of these in their stinky, sweaty dressing room. The smell of lavender made it all come back.
April 29
I lost the quiz! It was painful and not what the doctor ordered. Shilpa and I were neck to neck and it went down to the wire. The tie-breaker question was the key. I was going for the kill. "What is the person who treats a player struggling with cramps in the middle called?" "A nurse," I screamed, giving it the kitchen sink. "A physio," Shilpa bellowed, coming to the party. She was right. Shane argued that my answer ought to be the the right one. You can't keep him out of the game because it needs such characters. It was not a good quiz to lose.
I lost the quiz! It was painful and not what the doctor ordered. Shilpa and I were neck to neck and it went down to the wire. The tie-breaker question was the key. I was going for the kill. "What is the person who treats a player struggling with cramps in the middle called?" "A nurse," I screamed, giving it the kitchen sink. "A physio," Shilpa bellowed, coming to the party. She was right. Shane argued that my answer ought to be the the right one. You can't keep him out of the game because it needs such characters. It was not a good quiz to lose.
[Note: Have to rewrite this entry. Asked Ravi to write for me while I got a manicure, but this doesn't make any sense]
April 30
Met some Indian board officials at a do. They remind me of some of the inmates at my organic farm - ponderous and gluttonous. They also got very drunk. One of them asked Shane if he knew what the BCCI would stand for if read backwards. He said he had no idea. The man laughed and said, "ICC's a Bitch".
Met some Indian board officials at a do. They remind me of some of the inmates at my organic farm - ponderous and gluttonous. They also got very drunk. One of them asked Shane if he knew what the BCCI would stand for if read backwards. He said he had no idea. The man laughed and said, "ICC's a Bitch".
May 1
Okay, so Rahul's not actually a creep. While I thought he was offering me a massage, he had simply noticed that I was reading Shane's unfinished manuscript Playing Spin: How Not to Be Like Cullinan - and was offering batting tips. I'm glad that's cleared. But he is the nerd that everyone says he is. I asked him how he played Shane so well. He said he reads the ball. Kookaburra, duh. What next?
Okay, so Rahul's not actually a creep. While I thought he was offering me a massage, he had simply noticed that I was reading Shane's unfinished manuscript Playing Spin: How Not to Be Like Cullinan - and was offering batting tips. I'm glad that's cleared. But he is the nerd that everyone says he is. I asked him how he played Shane so well. He said he reads the ball. Kookaburra, duh. What next?