'Sorry London for my mum's escalator positioning'

The parody
It has been reported that Kevin Pietersen thinks that one of his team-mates is responsible for the parody account "KP Genius", @KevPietersen24

The person responsible disagrees.

Maybe that's why the bowlers go off so frequently when they're supposed to be fielding.

The mockery
To be honest, England players are usually a bit more upfront with their mickey-taking anyway.

Prior resisted the temptation to call a press conference.

The knowledge
New South Wales batsman Ben Rohrer has been chatting to Doug Bollinger.

Some of Rohrer's other updates make it clear that Doug almost certainly wasn't joking.

The London underground protocol
Stuart Broad has been travelling with his mum.

Tino Best's modesty corner
Tino's in town.

Oh, wait. I just checked and it turns out he was talking about an actual storm. It's not just a new nickname he's given himself.

What's your philosophy?
Lonwabo Tsotsobe isn't in South Africa's Test team at the minute.

Not sure that's the official Proteas philosophy there, Lonwabo. Admirable though it is, you might not get too many games if that's your attitude.

And how about you? What's your philosophy?
Harbhajan Singh is another currently spending time on the international sidelines.

So what you're saying is that we should lower our ambitions? No matter how bad we are at something, we should only ever aim to be fractionally better than that, and when we achieve this, we should pat ourselves on the back for being "the best". Sounds like a recipe for complacency to me. Also, is this advice really applicable to your situation, Harbhajan? Rather than going for personal bests, shouldn't you be aiming to be just a little bit better than Ravichandran Ashwin?

Nando's Watch
There was a lot of treachery last week with cricketers going to all sorts of different restaurants. Looks like we're back to normal now, though, according to Riki Wessels of Nottinghamshire.

Not really putting the hours in, though, are you, Riki? Not like Jason Roy of Surrey.

Jason only really falls down in failing to "destroy" his food. Charl Willoughby of Essex managed to get a bit closer in that regard.

Nearly there, nearly there. Anyone else? Craig Kieswetter of Somerset, perhaps?

Textbook.