Into the mind of the bowlologist
Damien Fleming explains a few of the concepts he cooked up, his fondness for hard-rock and dishes on who hid a Britney Spears CD in their bag
Damien Fleming cooked up Avenue of Apprehension during a beach cricket series • Getty Images
You say as though it is a negative, with that bit of frown over there.
We played this beach cricket series. Australia, New Zealand, England, West Indies. Really good fun. Great way to play with legends like Viv Richards and Thommo [Jeff Thomson] and Dennis Lillee and Richard Hadlee. I remember talking to Sir Richard one night. About Geoff Boycott's Corridor of Uncertainty. I can't remember what exactly, but Sir Richard wanted to ban that. Next day on ABC radio he said, "I am going to ban it, let's come up with some options." And so we came up with Avenue of Apprehension, Snick Street, and Hallway of Hesitation. But what I did was, I used other people's ideas and used them as mine. Mixture of me and people coming up with stuff on Twitter and stuff.
We are in the entertainment business. Even Test cricket is entertainment. I want to make sure I am insightful and take the game seriously, but if there is a chance to have fun, do that. I was someone who could provide a bit of humour, I suppose. Sometimes intentional, sometimes unintentional. Just by being pretty sloppy. Boys reckoned I used to talk a lot of rubbish when I was playing, but guess who is in the media now. Bad luck, lads.
I roomed with Merv Hughes for six years. I left school and got picked two weeks later at the age of 18 years. Nothing prepares you for that. No wonder my personality is slightly off the kilt, because to room with Merv for six years and survive, one, I deserve a medal, and two, I am not going to come out normal. I blame it on Mervyn Hughes.
It was in Queensland. Tony Dodemaide and Michael di Venuto wished me luck going up in the lift. I went, "What am I in for here?" Going in there, [Hughes asked], "What bed do you want? Double or single?" I said single. And he went, "Aww gee, you are good to room with." And then he ended up putting his arm around me and said, "Mate, you will be all right."
We have got our own clubs. I have got a Test-hat-trick-for-Australia-on-debut club. Table for one each year. Merv and I form the club with Test hat-tricks and Test 70s club. So obviously Merv was the first. Me. We inducted Shane Warne last year. He never turns up, Warnie. Merv wanted to get Dennis Lillee, but he has got a 70 but no hat-trick. I threw in Glenn Mcgrath's name, but Merv mentioned he doesn't have a 70. It is a small club, but we catch up.
Well Rhino joined us. I rang Merv. No, Merv texts me saying, "hope Rhino gets a hat-trick. Hoping to induct him."
We are waiting. Warnie never bloody turns up, does he?
I never got dropped a lot. I helped the selectors by getting injured. I am sure if I was uninjured I would have been dropped a lot more.
I still haven't spoken to him after that. I am not happy with it.
Two Test hat-tricks. Just for one. I could merge it with Australians-with-hat-tricks-on-Test-debut club.
We call ourselves the fast-bowling cartel. Obviously Glenn McGrath is the president. But the rest of us, we didn't have a bowling coach when we were there. But the fast bowlers, we would talk about the opposition, we'd talk about what we were going to do and even to this day, you can just see we are talking over cricket. James Sutherland, an ex-fast bowler is the CEO of Cricket Australia, Tony Dodemaide [for] Cricket Victoria, Glenn McGrath's doing a lot of things, Kasper [Michael Kasprowicz] is on the board. I am in the media. Dizzy [Jason Gillespie] is Yorkshire coach. We have an Indian brand ambassador as well. Srinath is an ICC match referee.
He's not part of the cartel.
At the moment, yes. But the fast-bowling cartel is sitting here, boys.
We actually - not that it should be allowed to be shown in public - but we got a bit bored on the 2001 series in India. In Delhi, I think. We mixed mini-golf with WWF. We called it Slam Punk Mania 2001. So we dressed up and we filmed it all. Just for the boys. But as you'd imagine, with the Indian people that were staying at the hotel, we ended up with a massive crowd thinking, 'what the hell is going on?'
All I can say is, I was FFF. I'll say that, but I don't want to say the rest. Dizzy was Goofball Gillespie. And what was Kasper? He was the Hooded Avenger. He had a bit of a sock as an ally.
I've read Hulk Hogan. I borrowed it off Dizzy. He used to love him, Mankind and all those guys.
Dizzy and Kasper are very close because we are big hard-rock fans as well. That's one thing I liked about India. India liked their rock. So you knew you can always buy rock CDs in India.
I can go pretty heavy. Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax. I go as heavy as that. That would be the limit for probably Kasper and Dizzy. But you know AC/DC, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Alice In Chains. I am more a big rock fan.
Yeah, yeah yeah. We'd get set periods where we would get to put it on. Particularly, Warnie hates my music. His brother Jason loves my music. So he would be like, "You're like my brother." And he hates it. For every Megadeth song or Metallica song from Ride the Lightning, you hear I'm a Barbie Girl. And you're like, "Are you serious?" Ricky Martin, the Macarena, what you doing? And you're dancing to it? Seriously how about you get a few more runs? Then we would get Holy Wars on. Then we'd get Metallica on.
I had bowled pretty well in this ODI series in 2001. I had got a few 2 or 3 for 30s. We got slogged a bit. And I don't even know where it was. We are about to go out and bowl. Warnie has Easy Lover on. Phil Collins. That's the atheist of rock 'n' roll. I said to John Buchanan. "John, you expect me to go out and be a fiery fast bowler, bounce Tendulkar and Ganguly, and rip into them with Easy Lover in my ear?" Go out there, of course I get 0 for 60 off 10 [0 for 53 off eight]. Walk in, see John Buchanan, and all I say, "Are you happy?" And walk away. That was my last ODI in India.
Buey was pretty happy if the team was happy. He would float everywhere. He didn't mind a bit of banter. He didn't mind a little bit of friction within the dressing rooms .He thrived on them a bit. He would have meetings and pose questions. Mark Waugh would be asleep. The rest of us would listen. I reckon he was pretty easy.
He might have been. He was a bit loopy, Buey. Pink Floyd might have been up his alley. He was a little out there, John.
This is in the bowlology handbook, fast bowlers have got to listen to hard rock. If you are going to bowl fast, you have just got to rock. I used to have a pump-up tape and a mellow tape. Just if I was getting a little bit over. But mellow for me was AC/DC or Pearl Jam.
I did have one early. I had one halfway down the back. Kasper never. He didn't have the head-cut for a mullet. Glenn didn't either. Glenn had that Dumb Dumber Christmas look for a while there.
No, but Glenn was, like Merv, a pest in the dressing room. He is always throwing forks and knives. He is a real wildlife person. Whereas I was more witty comments. I was always there as a bit of wingman if someone wants to go out for a bit of a beer. I liked the social side of things. And not getting famous enough so you can't go out and enjoy things.
Sidharth Monga is an assistant editor at ESPNcricinfo