Russel Arnold - "It's up to me to stay alive"

"I am alive and it is up to me to stay alive," said Russel Arnold last week. Whether he was borrowing a line from the lyrics of Celine Dion or the Bee Gees it did not matter. What mattered was that he was back where he always longed to be: in the Sri Lanka team.

For the 31-year-old the last 20 months have been frustrating and disappointing having been dropped from the national side due to poor form. The form that had seen him average 30 in Tests and 45 in one-day internationals dipped and his average fell to 28 and 36, paving the way for his axing.

"At the back of my mind I knew I just had to keep kicking on and things had to change. I needed to lift myself up. I set myself a target till 2007. Whether I was going to be picked or not, I decided I was going to give it my all. If it worked, then great; but, if not, at least I would have know my efforts were honest and that's all you can do."

So when Arnold received a call from Marvan Atapattu at the end of the New Zealand tour selection meeting and heard the words "congratulations you have been picked" it was like music to Arnold's ears.

"It was nice to know that I had made the team again. For the past couple of years things hadn't been going my way. For a change things are looking bright. My main target was to establish myself once again. Getting picked again was a big achievement. At present, I am where I want to be," continued Arnold.

"Right now I am taking every day as it comes. In New Zealand I don't know whether I will get a start. I am keeping my mind clear and taking whatever opportunity that comes and making the maximum of it. Hopefully it will be a help to the team. I've got to go with the tide at the moment and I am looking forward to the New Zealand tour," he said.

Being a devout Catholic, religion played a major part in Arnold's comeback to the national team. "I've always held the belief that God is my strength. If it is to be, it is to be. It is simple as that. We complicate ourselves by trying to do various things and burden ourselves. Your belief takes you through," said Arnold.

He is still not quite sure how his cricket world turned topsy-turvy when at one stage it looked as if he would be a permanent fixture in the side. There were even occasions when he was mentioned as a future captain.

"Nothing is really clear of what went wrong for me to get dropped from the team. I needed to really refocus myself on exactly what I needed to do and look back at certain flaws, maybe at my approach or how I did things," said Arnold. "I worked at my game really hard and mainly focused on getting my mind cleared of whatever failure I had, the times I felt unlucky and everything that's gone wrong around me."

Arnold is thankful that he had some decent friends who gave him good advice which helped him a lot. Rumesh Ratnayake, the former Sri Lanka and NCC fast bowler and Nishantha Hennanayake, who spent a lot of time with him on the bowling machine, are two of them.

"Basically I knew what I really had to do but it was a tough task. It was a big burden that you carry and that's what you don't need. My friends kept reminding me that when I first made the team I had to make lots of runs," recalled Arnold. "I had to make runs to be in the team from 1997 to 1999. I basically made every tour and practically in every side game I made a hundred. They kept reminding me that if anyone knew how to make runs to get into the team, it should be me. They told me to just focus on it and that I would be able to do it again. It was actually great advice," he said.

Right throughout his comeback trail Nondescripts CC, his club and Hatton National Bank, the firm he works for were right behind him. "Not many people gave me a chance. There were many people who had so many things to say but at NCC and HNB everyone was very supportive of me. They never put pressure on me in any way but encouraged me to keep working. That was really great," said Arnold.

Arnold was told by the national selectors that he would be considered for selection if he showed form. The left-hander responded in style by scoring 386 runs from six first-class innings for NCC in the Premier tournament at an average of 128.66, including one century and four fifties.

"As club captain I had to perform a balancing act. My personal goal was to make a lot of runs in order to be recognised. On the other hand I had to take the youngsters along and also see that the team won. The weather didn't help at all. Most of the games we had were no-decisions and we hadn't played more than 100 overs. I had to really balance it out. The team's goal was the priority and I am happy that I was able to get the maximum out of it," said Arnold.

Arnold he never lost touch with his team mates during his struggle to regain his place. "My relationship with the team was never different although I was out. It has always been the same. The only difference is that I am going to be there more often, rather than now and again saying 'hi' and catching up. "It's nice to be back," said Arnold.

"I've got to prove to myself that I am good enough to do it again. I believe I can. It's a challenge. At the end of the day if I do it, there will be great pleasure and satisfaction because I had been through a hard time. There aren't any regrets right now," he said.