'We're receiving reports of Aussies in trouble'

Did you see it?

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He's lying. He saw it. If nothing else, the hashtag's a giveaway.

Alastair Cook won the toss and bowled.

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Nope.

Matt Prior was useful behind the stumps, but not half as good as he apparently is in the stands.

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Broad took two wickets in that over and pretty soon he had five more.

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Ex-England rugby player Brian Moore rated the morning right up there in his hierarchy of life experiences.

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Things were so violent at Trent Bridge that Nottinghamshire police considered intervening.

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Pretty soon - well actually very, very, uncommonly soon - the tourists were nine down.

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They couldn't. Broad got another one.

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Not sure there was actually enough material for a 30-second ad.

The reaction among Australians was mixed. Dean Jones channelled Michael Vaughan in staying positive.

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While Matthew Hayden indulged in some wishful thinking.

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Yeah, that's where Australia went wrong, Matthew - with the make-up of their bowling attack.

I suppose we should probably take a look at events outside the first morning of the fourth Ashes Test as well.

Chris Gayle had his usual demanding schedule.

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So did Dale Steyn.

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Kemar Roach had some more insightful advice.

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And Jimmy Neesham had beard-growing advice.

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But then got rid of it.

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Finally, this is how Stuart Broad gained his superpowers. You can bet they weren't in Nando's.

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