Sydney, Brissie, Ritchie
Get a load of the east coast, and a furore about racism, on the first leg of our correspondent's Australia tour

Melbourne and the living is easy • Firdose Moonda/ESPNcricinfo Ltd
Board the now well-used Gautrain to the airport. At Sandton station, catch a glimpse of Mark Boucher stepping off. He looks well. His non-profit rhino conservation company is being launched today. He was not due to go on this tour anyway and would have retired after the England series had he not been forced to so by injury. First tour for me without him - and for every member of the squad except Jacques Kallis.
Arrive in Sydney late in the afternoon. Long drive through the city gets the eyes wandering. Then out to the western suburb of Ashfield. Geographically, not the best booking. It's quiet, but a short walk down the road reveals a bustling immigrant quarter. Serious jet lag sets in. Worse than when travelling to New Zealand even. No choice but to take an early night.
Am informed it will take two bus rides to get to the SCG. The first stop is at Hyde Park. Fond memories of the London version and its beautiful running routes. This one looks just as good. Second bus needs a prepaid ticket. Don't have one. Sympathetic driver agrees to provide an all-day pass for just $2.50.
First glimpse of the SCG field. Patchy and sandy, it looks horrible to field on. The venue itself could become a favourite, as long the character-filled ladies' and members' stands are not knocked down. Construction is on in earnest. Soon a modern stand will be put up. As a result, media are housed in the football press box, which provides an interesting, almost square-on, look at the match.
The South African attack toils without much reward on a lifeless surface. Even Hashim Amla gets a bowl. After Alex Doolan has made enough of a case with 161, Australia A declare and the rhythm resumes, with the visiting batsmen meandering their way into form. Nothing like the fiery tour match in Potchefstroom last summer.
Visit Michael Clarke's Western Suburbs grade cricket ground, Ashfield Park, before the day's play. Pristine in spite of its working-class reputation. Most impressive, the sculpture garden. Features a stone with the phrase "No stranger shall go empty from our door, for we ourselves eat at the doors of strangers in their land" translated into 17 languages.
Test match week begins. Brisbane greets us with warmth, humidity, and a distinct Durban-like feel. Being a travel day, the team don't train. Not so for the journalists.
A torn contact lens necessitates a trip to the optometrist. They cannot give me a replacement without a prescription. Put in a call to Mohammed Moosajee, the South African team manager, who is also a doctor. No point. They meant a doctor registered in Australia. After much faffing and a knock on another optometrist's door, a new lens is bought.
Run along the Brisbane River on a route that goes through the Botanical Gardens. No sightings of koala or kangaroo, though, two animals I am keen to spot, especially because we don't have them in Africa. The green on the Gabba pitch is visible. It looks a paradise for the quickies.
The alleged Australian "dossier" is the source of much amusement for everyone, including Michael Clarke and Graeme Smith. Clarke said it made for "good reading", while Smith said South Africa prefer "the guys to have the information in their heads so we don't leave dossiers lying around". The most interesting plan is the one to Hashim Amla, which will be to sledge him. Whatever the source of the document, it sets the tone for a typical Australia-South Africa contest - full of needle.
Day one delivers almost none of the drama it promised. Instead of pace, bounce and carry, the pitch is slower than expected and flat. Amla and Kallis combine to become South Africa's most successful run-scoring pair. Most of the drama happens afterwards, when Duminy slips and ruptures his Achilles during shuttle runs.
Last night's drizzle has become this morning's downpour and it does not look good for cricket. The South African team leave the ground before lunch but with a good few thousand people expected in, the rest of us wait. I interview Ian Healy about his home town. He asks after Boucher's health. After 4pm, play is called off.
Clouds still hover but drainage is excellent and play begins on time. Kallis and Amla both complete centuries but Australia hit back to dismiss South Africa for 450. The much talked-about South African attack show what they are capable of. With Australia 40 for 3, eyebrows are raised. Ed Cowan and Michael Clarke dig in, and I suspect South Africa will miss Duminy's bowling more than they expected.
Cowan, Clarke and Hussey dominate in a way that makes Kallis' and Amla's innings look nothing more than appetisers. Rory Kleinveldt's debut does not improve, a shame, especially as his father has made the long journey to watch him. South Africa overstep an alarming 23 times.
Clarke's declaration duly comes, and for a few overs, South Africa's vulnerability is laid bare as they slip to an effective 14 for 4. Eventually, for the first time in 14 matches, the two sides draw a game.
The South African squad disperse. Many head to the Sunshine Coast. On landing in chilly Melbourne, wonder if I shouldn't have done the same. Chose to visit the Victorian capital because South Africa won't play here on this trip. Drive pass the Albert Cricket Ground on the way to the hotel. Amazed at how many excellently manicured and cared-for fields I've seen so far. My colleague Brydon warns me the water will taste different in every state because of the different minerals used. He is right. Victoria's is far more acidic.
The city-centre laneways are my office for the day. Marvel at the vintage bikes going past, while I work. Have been told Melbourne is a great city to live in and I can see why. Loads of cafés, cheaper food and drink, and endless parks.
Run along the famous Tan track. Wish we had something resembling this back home. To the left, the Rod Laver Arena is visible. Wish South Africa had played here later - could have watched some of the Australian Open perhaps. Not much more time to wish, though; the hill is steep and there will be another one to climb afterwards. The tour goes on.
Firdose Moonda is ESPNcricinfo's South Africa correspondent