Andy Zaltzman

Stand-up comedian; writer

England's stagnant batsmen

I woke this morning with an increasingly unusual feeling in my cricketing belly – one of genuine anticipation

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

World's Dullest XI, part 2 - Deities of Dull

Confectionery Stallers, the waiting is at an end

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

World’s Dullest XI, part 1 (Appendix)

Tomorrow will bring the long-awaited announcement of numbers 7 to 11 in the Confectionery Stall Post-1981 All-Time Dullest World XI, putting tedious cricketers and lovers of tedious cricket out of their misery at last

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

World’s Dullest XI, part 1 - Titans of Tedium

The ICC’s much-maligned Best-Ever Test Match ratings, which have provoked typhoons of outrage and howls of misunderstanding across the cricketing universe, have fired the millennia-old debate about how best to assess a cricketer’s quality

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Melbourne Mesmeriser beats Brisbane Bludgeoner

Matthew Hayden, the Brisbane Bludgeoner himself, has become the latest of the Australian old guard to succumb to the inescapable tentacles of time

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Let me on the pitch, I can help the Middle East

Andy Zaltzman has unlocked the key to the Middle East crisis: pitch invasions

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Ashes prediction, number 1 of 21

Greetings Confectionery Stallers, and welcome to the first instalment of the Confectionery Stall’s Ashes result prediction blogs, which will pepper the year from now until the final over of the series

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Exile or Roman holiday?

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

This was my Geraint-at-Edgbaston moment

As my wife gave birth to our second child, on the floor of our bathroom, I, Andy Zaltzman, serial dropper of dollies, sitters and regulation four-quarter chances on the cricket field, had caught the one that mattered

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Facts + maths = truth

Some statistical pointers to how England will perform in the Test series, generated with a combustible cocktail of fact and inappropriate mathematics

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Everything points to an England win

With their total lack of preparation, chaotic travel arrangements, almost complete absence of public expectation and rampantly in-form opposition, it now seems inconceivable that England can do anything other than win

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Lies, damned lies, and 21st century cricket stats

If you are allergic to or intolerant of cricket statistics, please either take an anti-histamine before reading this, or destroy your computer

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

England must lead the way

There has been an understandable concentration on the negative implications of some or all of England's cricketers not returning to India for the Test series following the Mumbai terrorist attack

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Duckworth and Lewis needs a rethink

Andy Zaltzman looks at Duckworth-Lewis, "one of humankind’s greatest scientific breakthroughs", but questions whether it needs a revamp

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Time for Pietersen to come to the party

The prospect of the final three one-day internationals between England and India has, like accountancy and competitive grouting, failed to capture the public imagination in Britain

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Broad appeal

The second match between India and England was noteworthy for two things

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

How to speed up over-rates, part 1

The Confectionery Stall has long been a champion of faster over-rates, ever since its very first blog five days ago

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

It could be a long short tour

As I write, England and India have just embarked on a seven-match marathon of one-day internationals, as a prelude to an embarrassingly short two-match travesty of a Test series

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Come on, umpires. Walk faster please

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

Welcome, goslings

Welcome to The Confectionery Stall, my new blog about the world of cricket as it progresses through the barmiest phase in its illustrious history

25-Feb-2013•Andy Zaltzman

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