A phoenix of anecdotes
Paul Coupar reviews Stiff Upper Lips and Baggy Green Caps
Paul Coupar
21-Nov-2006
Stiff Upper Lips and Baggy Green Caps: A Sledger's History of the Ashes
by Simon Briggs (Quercus, 280pp) £9.99

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"How's your wife and my kids?"
asked Rod Marsh from behind the
stumps. "The wife's fine," replied
the batsman, Ian Botham, "but the
kids are retarded."
Ah, sledging and the Ashes - two
of our favourite subjects, perhaps
too much so. The ground is so
heavily trodden that it is hard to
find anything fresh, or even alive.
But Simon Briggs, a cricket writer
on the Daily Telegraph, pulls it off.
His anecdotal history of the Ashes
- long on stories, refreshingly short
on statistics - is a crackling tale.
There are enough fresh insights
to hold the interest of the specialist.
Here is Graham Dilley on Botham's
rejuvenation after losing the
captaincy in 1981: "It was almost as
if you'd taken a child, made him an
adult for a while, then allowed him
to go back to being a child."
The writing is wonderfully
crisp. Using vivid snapshots of
key players and moments, Briggs
rattles through the 123 years
with a scriptwriter's feel for pace
and detail. He puts in what the
scorecards leave out.
What emerges is a snappy,
funny, vivid and accurate telling
of the Ashes story: the 19th
century and the reign of WG ("the
perpetual schoolboy"); the golden
age of classicism, bookended
by two pragmatists, Grace and
Warwick Armstrong; the 1920s
and Armstrong, "who treated
cricket as war"; Bradman ("not a
single redeeming defect"); Bodyline
(Jardine: "I've got it! Bradman's
yellow!"); 1953 ("Wear the buggers
down"); the 1970s ("gang warfare");
1987-2003 (the onslaught of the
"Baggy Green Machine"); and
finally English catharsis in
2005 (Edgbaston - "the most
famous insertion since Brutus did
for Caesar").
It is all hurried along by some
corking quotes. So, without further
ado here are The Best One-Liners in
Ashes History -
The Colin Cowdrey
award for chivalry: "It doesn't
worry me in the slightest to see
the batsman hurt, rolling around
screaming and blood on the pitch"
- Jeff Thomson.
The Sid Vicious
award for lèse majesté: "Nice legs
for an old Sheila" - Rodney Hogg,
while in earshot of the Queen.
The Sydney Hill award for audience
participation: "Hey, Warr, you've
got as much chance of taking a
Test wicket on this tour as I have
of pushing a pound of butter up a
parrot's arse with a hot needle."
The chances of making an Ashes
history sing afresh would seem
to be no better. But Briggs's
chronicle is a delight.
Paul Coupar is assistant editor of The Wisden Cricketer and will be covering the first two Tests for Cricinfo