'Gonna dream about line and length and nothing else'

The performance
The bench is cooling and Scott Styris wants Stephen Fleming to know about it.

Fleming wasn't enormously impressed.

The knowing hypocrisy
Graeme Swann had strong feelings about Ukraine v France being rained off for a period of time.

The South African upbringing
Steven Finn got to watch the football with Craig Kieswetter.

To be fair to Kieswetter, several of England's footballers also appear unaware of this.

The tease
Virat Kohli promised a lot.

But he hasn't updated since. How did this potentially exciting day pan out? Could it be that when people are genuinely having an exciting time, they don't take to Twitter to tell us all about it? Surely not.

Take David Warner, for example.

Having the time of his life. He wasn't obliged to attend. Absolutely not. No way. That certainly wasn't the reason why Michael Clarke paid for the meal shortly afterwards.

The garnish
Alex Hales' meal was less exciting. He was sticking to soft food, but alas, it was to no avail.

The class treachery
Meanwhile, Rob Key's children are developing expensive tastes.

When I was a child, fish didn't come raw. It came breadcrumbed in "finger" format.

The seam attack
Speaking of expensive tastes, Michael Vaughan will perhaps be spending a little more on his tailoring after he had an emergency jacket-round-the-waist situation.

The hirsute
Andre Adams has made a style decision of his own.

The sympathy
James Anderson was quickly on the scene when Ian Bell was hit on the chin in the nets, sustaining a deep wound which required ten stitches.

The dream
Yorkshire's Moin Ashraf had plans this week.

But is he living the dream? That's the question.

Tino Best's modesty corner
"Tough times don't last ,tough people do #forevergoinghard ...have a bless day twitter family #GODBLESS...."
@tinobest

Now technically Tino didn't claim to be tough himself in that tweet. However, based on past evidence, we can safely infer it.

What's your philosophy?
We should just call this section "What's Shaun Pollock's philosophy?" The man should start making those trite calendars people have in offices.

Thanks for the information, Shaun.

Let's give someone else a go. Manoj Tiwary?

Not sure this one stacks up, Manoj. For example, is it really better to be hated for being a person who was responsible for wartime atrocities than it is to be loved for not being selfish?