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Dr Doosra's Demented Devices

The CricPad

Why wait for the overpriced, restricted iPad when you can get the CricPad today? The first-ever tablet designed specifically for cricket fans, the CricPad is the device Graeme Swann wants. Do you?


© Anand Ramachandran
1. Fun Image-Goo feature
Take screen grabs of an IPL broadcast and distort the images to make caricatures. Stretch the mongoose bat to make it look like a normal bat. Widen Preity Zinta's smile to make it look like the Cheshire cat. Bloat Yuvraj Singh to make him look even more like Ramesh Powar.
2. Over-the-hill musician finder
Didn't quite enjoy the line-up at the IPL opening ceremony? This app lets you find and replace videos of the IPL opening acts like Lionel Richie and Ali Campbell with other similar has-been acts, such as Air Supply, Richard Marx and Samantha Fox. How is that even useful? We have no idea.
3. USB port
See, it's already better than the iPad.
4. Virtual wrist-strap
For those who fear they might drop the CricPad in excitement when KKR blow their next close game, this on-screen, touch-sensitive wrist strap is the answer. Just slip it on and see how cleverly we've made it move and behave just like a real wrist-strap. What? Dropped it anyway? Don't blame us, you were a fool to expect a virtual wrist strap to hold a real device in place.
5. Unresponsive "dead" area
This portion of the CricPad's screen will not respond to any kind of input, or provide any feedback. Just like the IPL governing council when it talks to franchisees or the media.
6. Mockery App
Will automatically detect any uncool device nearby (such as a BlackBerry, Nokia smartphone, or anything made by Microsoft), and trigger peals of mocking laughter. Caution: do not use near Lalit Modi, as his multiple 'Berries may cause the app to go into an infinite self-calling loop.

Anand Ramachandran is a writer and humourist based in Mumbai. He blogs at bosey.co.in