The Ballad of the Unsold Englishman
A representative of an unfairly ignored constituency gives vent in verse
Sidin Vadukut
13-Feb-2014

"I mean, what is wrong with you people?" • Getty Images
Look, I am not saying that paying so much for him is a crime
But surely Yuvi is slightly beyond his prime?
Why not spend much less on a fully fit foreigner-wink wink
Who can pose for fairness cream, underwear or energy drink?
So come on Mr Mallya, why not pick up your paddle
And put an Englishman with experience in the RCB saddle?
But surely Yuvi is slightly beyond his prime?
Why not spend much less on a fully fit foreigner-wink wink
Who can pose for fairness cream, underwear or energy drink?
So come on Mr Mallya, why not pick up your paddle
And put an Englishman with experience in the RCB saddle?
Just FYI, I have a certificate in Bollywood dance
Imagine the opportunities for cross-marketing this will enhance
Of course I fully understand the logic in picking Finch
But is explosive batting enough if a cup you want to clinch?
VVS Laxman, why not classily glance in this direction
And complement Finch's fury with a prime West Midlands selection?
Imagine the opportunities for cross-marketing this will enhance
Of course I fully understand the logic in picking Finch
But is explosive batting enough if a cup you want to clinch?
VVS Laxman, why not classily glance in this direction
And complement Finch's fury with a prime West Midlands selection?
What I love about India is the ancient culture on every street
I am not a neo-colonial firang who complains about food and heat.
Who is Ben Cutting? Never heard of the little shit
Just checked his Cricinfo profile. One T20 wicket! Typical Aussie tit
Come on Shilpa Shetty, you can do better than that guy!
Hum press conference main thoduh thoduh Hindi bohl sucktah hai
I am not a neo-colonial firang who complains about food and heat.
Who is Ben Cutting? Never heard of the little shit
Just checked his Cricinfo profile. One T20 wicket! Typical Aussie tit
Come on Shilpa Shetty, you can do better than that guy!
Hum press conference main thoduh thoduh Hindi bohl sucktah hai
Pujara? Really? I don't need your stupid league
Glamorgan will gladly have me back. Fed up of this intrigue
LOL! Yusuf Pathan just got purchased by the Kolkata team
Don't ask me why, maybe in Kolkata winning is too mainstream?
Look Ms Chawla, you need to step back a bit,
And see if you are overlooking an obvious overseas hit?
Glamorgan will gladly have me back. Fed up of this intrigue
LOL! Yusuf Pathan just got purchased by the Kolkata team
Don't ask me why, maybe in Kolkata winning is too mainstream?
Look Ms Chawla, you need to step back a bit,
And see if you are overlooking an obvious overseas hit?
So I have 95% decided to try county cricket again
The IPL's loss could well turn out to be English cricket's gain
Who knows, maybe the national selectors will give me a look
Added bonus? I avoid the heat, food, corruption and Shastri (puke)
Hey Delhi Daredevils, congrats on that Dinesh Karthik coup
Can you pass me whatever you are smoking, and a lighter too?
The IPL's loss could well turn out to be English cricket's gain
Who knows, maybe the national selectors will give me a look
Added bonus? I avoid the heat, food, corruption and Shastri (puke)
Hey Delhi Daredevils, congrats on that Dinesh Karthik coup
Can you pass me whatever you are smoking, and a lighter too?
Chennai has bought Nehra for two crores
Chennai has bought Nehra for two crores
Chennai has bought Nehra for two crores
!@£$ you, IPL auction
Chennai has bought Nehra for two crores
Chennai has bought Nehra for two crores
!@£$ you, IPL auction
Sidin Vadukut is a columnist and editor with Mint, and the author of the Dork trilogy