The dodgiest of all decisions

Pattinson's inclusion proffers a depressing statement, the antithesis of the England and Wales Cricket Board's desired message. For they are desperate for their counties to rely more on talent reared in their own academies than ready-made hired hands from abroad. And now this from the national team. It is a dreadful example for the head boy to be setting. And Pattinson doesn't even look that ready-made.

Our selectors have been boring us to tears for six matches. Same team, same team. Meanwhile, the hacks have been pining for change - just to have something to write about. Geoff Miller has smiled enigmatically when announcing yet another unchanged side; his function is not to make life easier for journalists. Miller, we had decided, was meticulous, logical and conservative in his selections: a policy that would breed trust among his players, boredom among the scribes.

Then, out of the blue, Miller - dear, dour old Dusty - has pretensions to be another Uri Geller: to pluck from his flat, Derbyshire cap some gobsmacking magic in the form of the former roof tiler. A fresh face, albeit a fresh old face.

Seven years ago on this ground, a man whom nobody recognised walked out to bat for England in an Ashes Test. It turned out to be the serial hoaxer Karl Power, whose other stunts included having his picture taken with the Manchester United team on the pitch in Germany against Bayern Munich and playing on Centre Court at Wimbledon.

In a way, history repeated itself on Friday, in that there was a man bowling for England whom almost nobody recognised. It quickly became apparent that the only remarkable thing about Darren Pattinson is his selection.