A few double espressos should prove an excellent cure for calmness. Maybe this is why Virat's hundred celebrations always seem so wild-eyed.
You wouldn't think a professional batsman would have any problems getting his heart rate up when even practice sessions present some sort of bodily threat.
Practice makes perfect and all that. Mitch did have a decent bouncer, so it's no surprise to learn that he put the training hours in.
It's like Chris Gayle says…
Although arguably, this could be taken to mean that if you rein in your imagination and match that by slobbing about doing nothing at all, you'll do well.
Kevin Pietersen is one who's keeping himself busy. The man's Twitter account is basically one long paean to the life of the T20 freelancer. You wonder just who it is he's trying to convince.
If he isn't rubbing shoulders with world famous cricketers, he's dining next to less-than-world-famous footballers.
And if he's not at the airport, he's at the helipad. Somewhere in the world there is always a cricketer requesting a helicopter ride via Uber.
Not especially, no.
And even if the life of a T20 freelancer is so magical, since when was being an international cricketer such a hardship? Either Stuart Broad's lost all perspective, or he really needs to work on his threats.
Yeah, he looks like he's having an absolutely dreadful time.
One of Broad and KP's former team-mates had more prosaic concerns on Shrove Tuesday.
We're sure there's a more traditional way of marking the occasion. We just can't quite remember what it is.
There was another spectacle a day later as well.
Let's check in on Danny Morrison to see if he's still as Danny Morrisonish as we all remember.
It's not a parody account. It's a self-parody account.
We've had a few complaints in recent weeks about the absence of Nando's Watch.
But this is why cricketers are increasingly reluctant to mention the place.
Although Kent's Joe Denly, formerly with Middlesex, had his own observation to make relating to one of Finn's team-mates.
Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket