Watch out, kids: the food-fascists are after you

Forget the IPL; ignore the piddly little World Cup Qualifiers. Oxfordshire Under-13s are on tour in South Africa, and this is where the action is at. Flippancy aside, there is much to be learned of the differences in attitude between the two countries when you look at the development. And I may even have a possible indicator as to South Africa’s recent resurgence.

The English coach spoke to me today (over bacon and eggs – more on that later) over the contrast in attitude. Oxfordshire’s sprightly (and noisy) group are just about holding their own. The coach is fairly confident that two or three will play for a county; his opposite numbers are also sure that some of their young bucks will represent South Africa. Plenty of ability, then, but the coaching beliefs and attitudes are where the similarities between the two countries end.

When I was 13 (and, for those interested, a rather brilliant legspinner), I didn’t much care what I ate. Twelve roast potatoes was my record at school, yet still I remained bean-pole thin and a relative wizard-with-a-wrong’un. I’m pleased to report that these Oxfordshire Under-13s also share Britons’ craving for an unhealthy breakfast of sausage, bacon, eggs and worse. Their South African counterparts, however, are already at the mercy of dieticians, video-analysers, fitness coaches, physiotherapists and a whole army of personnel dedicated (and no doubt paid handsomely) to enhance their performances.

All fatty foods and carbs are off the agenda because, apparently, the brief sugar highs (remember those?) later cause lethargy in the field. The English coach was in awe of his South African counterpart, a towering behemoth of an Afrikaner who cuts the kids’ fizzy-drink intake and bans all sugar. My surprise quickly turned to outrage. Despite the encouraging results, are these food-fascists going to help these impressionable and ambitious young cricketers develop as people? And is cricket now so business-oriented, so intent on producing identical sportsmen off a conveyer belt of strict regimes and rigid policies, that even the naivety of youth is being curtailed? Er, that’ll be a yes then.

I am probably being naïve myself. Given the intensity of the sport nowadays, fitness is more important than ever. Oxfordshire’s attitude to the tour was as you’d expect; the coach, the players and the parents were all intent on winning and having a good time. But perhaps England’s school-cricket is stuck in the dark ages, peering out at the frighteningly fast-moving vista of professionalisation through double-thick rose-tinted spectacles. If nothing else, it is further evidence that cricket is simply no longer just a game, a form of entertainment or exercise once you begin to take it seriously. It is a business which expects its employees to be in peak condition at all times, regardless of age, and South Africans are taking it very seriously indeed.

I’m glad I grew up when I did, though…