'Every time I wash my car, the rain falls'

The Test victory
If you played for England, how would you have celebrated an historic Test win? Steven Finn gives us an unpleasant insight into a murky world.

According to Stuart Broad, it became even more hideous than that at one point.

Bring back The Sprinkler.

The incident
What's Essex's Reece Topley getting up to in the close season?

Doubtless you'll be after a bit of context to help you understand what on earth is going on here. There isn't any. That's all you're getting. Reece Topley fell down the toilet and then inexplicably felt the need to audibly laugh about it.

The surprising taste in sitcoms
Leeson very carefully. Russel Arnold shall say zis only once.

The lap record
Stuart Broad's got his stopwatch out.

The carwash
Kraigg Brathwaite controls the heavens.

Or is it that every time it rains, your car is washed? In other words, do you actually wash your car or just leave it outside in the hope that a rain shower gets the worst of the dirt off from time to time?

The innovation
Eoin Morgan has been impressed by the technological advancements on display in the Big Bash.

They say cricket's a conservative game, but we're already up to the 1980s footwear level of technology. That's only four steps below space travel.

The motivational words
Sreesanth says:

He's clearly never played badminton against my mate Terry. Utterly determined. Massively incompetent. You should qualify the phrase "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up" with "…provided they are possessed of a level of skill which allows them to compete with you in the first place."

The tentative opinion
Rodney Hogg has run his eye over Sri Lanka's quick bowlers.

Please don't pussyfoot around the subject, Rod.

The certainty
Who is that man?

According to Stuart MacGill, it's Stuart MacGill.

What's your philosophy?
Let's have a double helping of Shaun Pollock's words of wisdom this week.

So basically try and avoid questioning things, thinking about stuff or ever having an opinion. Shaun seems to think this will help society flourish, and who are we to doubt him?

Smashwatch
Scott Styris has been feeding batsmen.

Eh? What? Are you saying that "smash" doesn't mean "eat" in this particular instance? The modern world is an incredibly confusing place.