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The Heavy Ball

'Great stuff pig, pleased for u'

Porcine terms of endearment and more in this week's Twitter round-up

Alex Bowden
26-Jul-2012
Scott Styris' best shots were played down the ground, Sussex v Gloucestershire, Friends Life T20, Hove, July, 24, 2012

Styris: well done, Babe  •  Getty Images

The summary
You only get 140 characters for a tweet, but sometimes that's enough to sum up an entire Test match. Step forward David "Bumble" Lloyd.
The spare part
It would probably be inaccurate to describe South Africa's first Test win over England as a team performance. A few of the batsmen had very little to do beyond handing the ball back to the bowlers. Jacques Rudolph's still got something to be proud of, however.
The beast
Scott Styris hit a 37-ball hundred for Sussex this week, but this doesn't seem to have earned him any particularly flattering nicknames from his fellow New Zealanders.
It's great to earn the respect of your peers.
The hypocrite
Graeme Swann can be critical about others' driving.
However, two days later, Jimmy Anderson had this to say.
It seems like England's spinner produces plenty of turn when he's behind the wheel as well. A doosra might prevent him from going round in circles.
The jet set lifestyle
Martin Guptill's been travelling in style.
Nothing says "privileged sportsman" quite like using a Q on a triple-word score.
The revelation
Pat Cummins received some shocking news.
That does sound pretty harrowing.
The end
Not as harrowing as this, however. Francois du Plessis has some seriously worrying news from Zimbabwe.
Time has finished? He seems rather blasé about that apocalyptic development. What happens at the end of time, Francois? How did this come about? What if it spreads? Why aren't you more afraid?
The audible criticism
Ravichandran Ashwin was involved in another run-out.
The falling standards
Jonathan Agnew goes to Lord's no matter what sport it is playing host to.
Oh come on, Tino. Surely he can't rival your own humility? Once again, you're being too modest.
What's your philosophy?
Pat Symcox this week.
Needless to say, Shaun Pollock retweeted that. He hates to see trite, overly-earnest self-improvement quotes passing by without being associated with them in some way.
Nando's Watch
"Taking these two tourist to nandos."
@ronniesarwan (Ramnaresh Sarwan)

Alex Bowden blogs at King Cricket