It is hard to take all the knockbacks

It's been a bizarre week for me. Obviously I was disappointed not to get a chance to play in the second Test, but I've just heard I'm one of the ten nominees for BBC Sports Personality of the Year. My name was mentioned a couple of months ago but now I'm in the final list. It's very flattering and I'm honoured to be mentioned.

A lot's happened in the ten matches I've played. I enjoyed what I did in the summer and in India last year - it was an amazing experience - and hopefully I'll get a chance to play in the remaining three Tests. I've had a lot of support all year, lots of people turning up to the Tests in fancy dresses and fake beards. I guess it's nice to get recognition playing for England.

But it's been a frustrating time for me lately, because I want always to be in the best eleven. I want my name in there every game. I love playing cricket, I get a lot of energy from playing the game, and I want to play it all the time. But this experience is all a part of cricket as well. It's all about how you cope with it, and what you do with it. I try to be the best team man I can. I try to help the best eleven, support them, and hopefully take my chance when it comes.

I'm raring to go and I really want to get out there and play some cricket in the next three days. To be honest, I'm itching to bowl. We had a middle practice today and I absolutely loved it. I felt like a proper game at last. After a while, there's only so much you can do in the nets, and you really want to get out there. I love playing cricket so much.

Obviously it's up to me now. If I bowl well, I've got a chance to play in the third Test. The chance is there and I'm itching to get on the field. I'm not going to put any pressure on myself if I do get that chance. If I put pressure on myself there will be a sense of expectation and I don't want that. I just want to play without pressure and enjoy playing like I have done in the past. Hopefully I'll get a chance to take some wickets soon.

It is hard to take all the knockbacks, because when I'm playing I get all my energy, and when I'm not I just have to stay patient. Hopefully the coach and the captain will take notice in the next three days. If things don't go to plan in the next three days, I've only got myself to blame to be honest.

The guys in that Adelaide Test were so disappointed, after four long days of hard work and some really good cricket. Even watching from the sidelines it was disheartening and disappointing. You feel it as well, but it goes to show in international cricket, every session counts. Those guys have got a chance now to get a break mentally and physically ahead of the third Test, and I'm sure everyone will be raring to go by next week.

There's not a lot you can do when you're just a spectator. All you can do is hope that things go our way, and from my point of view it's frustrating not to be out there. I want to be part of the action, I always want to be playing and a part of the game. I feel I'm always developing and learning new things while I'm out there, and that's what I want to do. I want to keep improving each year because that's the type of character I am.

I want to keep improving, because you get bored doing the same things over and over again. I really want to keep on adding new things each year, just to keep my interest in the game going. It does get frustrating when you're not involved. You keep trying your best in the nets and training hard, but now these games are coming, and hopefully I'll get my chance.

A lot's been made of the contest between me and Ashley Giles, but everyone has their own roles in the team. Every time Ashley has been picked I say "Good luck, I hope you do well" and I genuinely mean it as well. Everyone tries their best, and when things don't go as planned, that's just a part of the game. I want Ashley to do well. I want him to give the best for our team. No-one means to drop catches. I don't mean to drop catches. All you can do is support your team-mates.

It's up to me now. We've been training in the nets for two-to-three weeks, which is a long while, and I'm really looking forward to playing a game of cricket. My batting's coming along as well. In fact all aspects of my game - bowling, batting, fielding - they are all coming along. I'm not putting pressure on myself, but I know I've got to do things well. Hopefully I can do that, then the coach or the captain will take notice.

I reckon I could one day be a No. 8, or even No. 7. People in the past have told me that. They've said you've got the potential, you've just got to keep learning about batting and keep improving your game. Since last summer my batting has improved, and I know the work I'm doing is going in the right direction. I'll keep plugging away, and the results could come.

As far as my bowling goes, Duncan has been busy this week with the Test, but he's often there, just to have a look. It gives me confidence as a player when people see things from the outside, because they seem to maybe pick different things to yourself. Duncan is a renowned coach who knows the game well, but he looks at my game more from the perspective of a batting coach. So that works well for me, because his thinking comes across, and if as bowler you think from a batsman's point of view, it helps to clarify certain things.

I've had a masterclass this week, just from watching Shane Warne in action. I think watching a spinner live is so different from watching on TV and Shane Warne, he's an absolute magician. Coming from a spinner's background, to watch him twirl away with different field settings and different tactics, there are so many things that you watch and try to pick up. I'm quite grateful I can watch him live and use the time as best I can. It's great to watch him bowl, but I haven't had much chance to speak to him yet.

I guess if I do get a chance at Perth, it's going to be a test of my skill as a spinner. In Perth, and Australia in general, the wickets don't turn so much for fingerspinners, so it will be a test of my cricketing ability. But I would like to be put in these kind of situation, because that's how you learn about yourself. You develop more as a player when you play in the game.

If a batsman does come after me, or whatever happens, it will be a great development for myself and a test of my skill, and I'll get a better idea of where I stand as a spinner when it comes to these conditions. I really am itching to be put in these sorts of situations. It's important always to be involved in the international environment, because it's where you improve as a player.

Despite the defeats, we're still strong as a unit and a group, but the experience of the last three weeks has definitely made me hungrier. It makes you want to be out there playing cricket, and I'm itching to go.